How could we?
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I'm more than a little upset about the ongoing disagreement DH and I have over our dog. I want to keep her. He wants to get rid of her. Our dog is seriously one of the best dogs in the world. She practically potty trained herself. The only time she ever has accidents in the house is when she is really sick and can't help it. She is FANTASTIC with Scout. Scout adores her. She is a friendly and affectionate dog, but she also has a ferocious bark and is very protective of her family. Sure, she has taken a backseat since Scout was born, and we really don't spend time with her and play with her like we should, but I still enjoy her companionship and couldn't imagine our home without her.
DH says she is nothing but a liability. She serves no purpose. All she does is cost us money and we don't get anything in return. We spend money on dog food, keeping her up to date on shots, and occasionally getting her groomed. We recently realized that we've both been getting some little bug bites and are suspecting fleas. The groomer saw a few when she was bathed a couple weeks ago, but I think DH has only actually seen one in the house and when I search her white fur, I don't see any at all. Still, we need to take care of it. Anyway, we were discussing what we need to do about said fleas and came across some negative info on flea meds like Frontline and Advantage. We started Googling more natural options and before we got very far in our search, DH threw up his arms and started talking about getting rid of the dog again.....that it's stupid to have to spend money on flea treatments when he doesn't even know why we have a dog.
You know, every single thing he says is factual. No, our dog does not give us any kind of monetary or material compensation. I suppose she is technically "worthless". Yes, sometimes we do have to spend money on her to keep her healthy (although it's not a very frequent occurrence - she's actually pretty low maintenance as far as pets are concerned, in my opinion). Yes, we do struggle financially and so I can see why it can be frustrating to DH on those rare occasions when we do have to shell out a little bit of money on the dog.
But the dog IS worth something to me. I spend a lot of time at home and therefore I spend a lot of time with the dog. She traveled with us out of state when DH was working long periods of time in Denver and Chicago. She has been with us for most of our marriage. I can't just toss her by the wayside. I can't just give her away. I know that she is not a human being, but in my mind she is a part of our family and I DO NOT WANT TO GET RID OF HER. I am frankly sick of hearing about how stupid it is for us to have her and how it only makes sense to get rid of her. I am tired of it. I will freakin' find a way to make some extra money in order to pay for her expenses if that's what it takes to end this debate. Some way, somehow. Heck, I will ask my parents for money and tell them that it's the only way I will be able to keep my dog.
DH and I don't have disagreements about things very often. I am telling the truth when I say that we fight and bicker a billion times less than most couples I know. But this topic seems to be a sore subject for the both of us and it just keeps popping up. I hate to say it, but there have been times when I've actually thought that he might take her somewhere or do something with her without my knowledge while I'm not looking. Oh gosh, I hope I'm way off-base with that idea.
Labels: being sappy, dh, sadness, the dog
posted by Unkempt Mommy @ 7:46 AM,
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Warning: Sad and Depressing
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I don't know why, but I've been visiting the "Grief and Loss" board on Mothering.com quite a bit lately. I guess what initially led me there was a horrible tragedy that befell one of the mommas in my Due Date Club there. Her baby girl was born the same day as Scout and ended up dying of SIDS at 3 months of age. I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't been a total freak about checking on Scout while she is napping since then. Sometimes I'll stare intently at her to watch for breathing. If I don't see it right away, I'll either place my hand on her chest or put my finger under her nostrils. I feel silly every time I do it. But I keep doing it anyway.
I'm not sure why I put myself through it....reading some of these stories on the Grief and Loss board is absolutely heartbreaking. Maybe it's one of those things like when there's a gruesome car wreck and you can't make yourself look away, even though you really don't want to see. Some of the mommas who have lost their babies have posted pics of them in their little caskets. I should stop looking at such things. It makes me physically ill. Seriously. I just wanted to vomit when I saw the pic of the little baby who shared Scout's birthday at her funeral, with her older siblings around the casket. Sorry. I'm probably making you ill right now by telling you this.
Maybe one of the reasons I read these mommas' stories and visit their blogs and look at their pictures is because it makes me appreciate what I have even more than I already do. When Scout wakes up from her nap after I've been reading about these awful tragedies, I just want to cry tears of joy that I have my little girl here with me and she is happy and healthy. It also makes me realize how absolutely fragile life is and how I squander my time and energy on really stupid things. I should be trying to enrich the lives of others. I should be more giving and selfless. I should be more in love with the Father in Heaven. I should spend my life on things that are really important.
Uughh. Sorry. This post is morbid and depressing.
Have a great day!
Labels: sadness
posted by Unkempt Mommy @ 12:07 PM,
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The Fundus Among Us
Friday, October 06, 2006
I was driving myself batty earlier today trying to find the top of my uterus (fundus). Last time I went to the midwife, I was 10 weeks and 3 days, so the bugger was still hiding below my pubic bone. I am at 12 weeks and 4 days today, so I thought maybe I could feel it myself. My Dr. Sears Pregnancy Book says to empty your bladder, lie down on your back, and feel around just above your pubic bone. There should be a hard round thing there and that's the uterus. I couldn't feel a darn thing. Well, maybe I could, but who knows? There are all sorts of lumps and bumps and stuff inside that squishy belly of mine...maybe one of those was my uterus. :) hee hee.
I'm just curious, is all. Every normal person in the universe has either heard their baby's heartbeat w/ the Doptone or had an early sonogram by this stage of the game. It's my own decision not to have those things, but I'm still feeling a bit antsy. My nausea has died down quite a bit. Aside from the gigantic volcano zits, greasy forehead, and painful boobies, I don't really "feel" pregnant. If my big gut is any indication that everything's alright in there, than the baby must be doing just dandy! Worrying is silly. I don't think I'm worried, per se....just excited to start feeling those little kicks and jabs. I'm not sure if I feel them yet or not. It's tough to tell, when I'm not sure what it feels like. There are times when I feel "movement" way down low, but I usually just chalk it up to a muscle twitch or gas or something.
There are 3 people in our lives who have recently had miscarriages. My cousin, my friend @ church, and DH's pal who lives in Texas. It's hard not to be curious about what's going on inside my belly when I keep hearing bad news like that....but FEAR is from the enemy and the bible says that perfect love casts out all fear. Fear is something that has no place in my heart, because I am a child of the Most High. The whole reason DH and I have chosen to have a low-intervention pregnancy is because we trust that we will be blessed with a healthy and uneventful pregnancy and birth. We KNOW that our child will be healthy and well and no amount of bad news can stop me from believing that.
Am I giving myself a pep-talk? Yep.
posted by Unkempt Mommy @ 7:24 PM,
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Sad
Sunday, September 10, 2006
My cousin who got pregnant shortly after I did ended up having a miscarriage this week. My heart just breaks for her. Her pregnancy was unplanned with a man she is not married to yet, but it was to be her first baby and they were both so ecstatic about it. I was really happy for her too. Uuughh....I just can't imagine how she must be feeling right now. When she went to the doctor, they were having trouble pin-pointing her dates because she has really irregular cycles, so they did an ultrasound. They had trouble finding the sac at first, but it was there. They estimated that she was about 6 weeks along. She went back a few days after that for another ultrasound, since they didn't get a great look at it before. At that ultrasound, they said that the baby's heartbeat was lower than what it should be. I have no experience at all with this. We haven't even heard or "seen" our babe's heartbeat yet, so I'm not sure what the heartbeat should be at that stage. They told her to come back to have another ultrasound a few days after that, and they found that the heartbeat was gone. The doctor gave her a pill to "pass" the baby and some pretty hefty pain medicine for the impending cramps. She took the pill and the sac w/ the baby inside was passed the next day. That in itself had to be a horrific experience.
What an awful thing to have happen. I have never suffered the pain of a miscarriage and I can't even imagine what it would be like. I can't say what I'd do in that situation, but I think I might be too scared to take whatever pill they gave her to make the uterus contract. I would be in denial and assume that the doctor had no idea what he/she was talking about and then wait for my body's own signals. My cousin said she was having nausea and had tender veiny breasts. Her symptoms still seemed to be in full force. If it were me, I'd have a really difficult time believing the doctor and wait for the bleeding to commence itself instead of taking that pill. But then again, maybe that's not always a possibility, since some women do have to get a D&C done after miscarriage. That's something I definitely know nothing about, but my general distrust and scepticism concerning doctors would be enough for me to let nature run its course instead of helping things along with a pill. But like I said, I know nothing of the subject, so maybe she did the very best thing. I don't know.
I feel blessed to have this healthy little creature thriving inside of me, and so sad that my cousin will not get to feel that baby grow and bring it into this world. Tomorrow will be 9 weeks since my LMP date. Our next appointment with the midwife is September 19th. Woohoo! I will be 10 weeks along at that point.
I've felt EXTREMELY nauseous all day, but I really can't complain about it. I am thankful for the tiny baby taking shape inside me and the surge of hormones that is making feel so ill is also causing my baby's cells to form and multiply into a healthy and complete body. I'm just very concerned with how I've been eating. I had my first little bit of salad in a long time today and it was very difficult to chew up and swallow. The texture and smell just gets to me. All I want are high-fiber cereals, an occasional egg (and even more so if I don't have to cook it and look at its runny raw form. Ick!), any kind of beans, any kind of cheese (well, maybe not brie or anything funky like that), and potatoes (especially baked or mashed). That is about the extent of what seems palatable to me at the moment. I did eat some pizza today (no meat!!! meat totally grosses me out right now) and ended up scraping the cheese off of some of it.....so essentially, I ended up having white bread w/ tomato sauce on it. I'm continuing to take my vitamins and iron supplement.....but I'm sure the midwife is not going to be pleased with my lack of green veggies. Yikes.
posted by Unkempt Mommy @ 6:34 PM,
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