I'm at 25w2d.

I am HUNGRY ALL THE TIME! If I skip a couple hours of snacking, my tummy gets an empty feeling that starts to resemble heartburn. As soon as I eat, it goes away. I get CRANKY if I don't have a snack at my disposal at all times.

I have outgrown 3 out of 4 of the maternity pants I was wearing (well, one of those were just a pair of "fat pants" left over from my chunkier days).....so I had to buy 3 pair of $10 stretchy sweatpant-type bottoms to last me (hopefully) for the rest of the pregnancy. XL maternity jeans from Old Navy and Target don't fit very well anymore (I can sort of wear them comfortably standing up, but they cut into me and give me "muffin tops" in the back if I sit down....I have to leave them unzipped if in the car and around the house) ....which means my only option is plus-size maternity from Motherhood. And I am NOT spending $45-$50 on 1 pair of pants this late in the game. Stretchy pants will have to do. At least they don't have elastic around the ankles :)

I haven't been getting very much exercise at all up to this point in the pregnancy. I was doing so well to walk for 30 minutes 5 days a week in the beginning. Then came the nausea for several weeks and I got out of the habit of walking. Then it got cold, so that became my excuse. I went for a 30 minute walk with my dog yesterday and it felt good. I want to keep it up, but it might be hard on the days I am watching Bob. His momma didn't dress him warm enough today for me to be able to wheel him around outside for an extended period of time....and even if he had a heavier coat on, I might feel bad to make a toddler endure the cold so I can get my excercise. Ha. More excuses.

It's getting tougher to sleep comfortably. It's awkward to roll over when I want to shift sides, but I have to do it quite often or my hips will hurt. Each time I wake up to pee (about 2 or 3 times) my bladder hurts and feels like it's about to explode. I'm dying for a good back rub, but I don't feel right asking DH to give me one, since he works all day and I don't. Besides, if I asked for one, I'd get called a whiner and end up with a half-assed little 5 second massage. (hey, it's true :) I don't think he's aware, but I'm pretty sure that massage is an integral part of the Bradley Method and will be one of his duties during labor.

Those are my only gripes/observations. Pretty good, eh? Oh yeah, and my nipples feel like they have needles in them today. Okay, now I'm done.

Labels: clothes, exercise, pregnancy, pregnancy whining

Thank you all, for your words of encouragement and being able to relate to my predicament concerning postpartum house guests. It's SO good to know that others have felt the same way I do - like a momma bear in her cave, who doesn't want anyone around her or her little cub. Speaking of which, I find it very interesting that just about every mammal in nature goes off and hides when it's time to give birth. Why should a human mommy be expected to be little-miss-social-hostess immediately after such a trying event? The nicest dog in the world can suddlenly turn into Cujo if you invade her recovery space and touch her newborn young uninvited. Not that we are mere animals.....but there must certainly be a reason for our innate desire to crawl into a hole to be by ourselves after giving birth.

In my opinion, I haven't been crazily hormonal or emotional through the pregnancy thus far. Sure, I have my rotten moods and moments of frustration, just like anyone else. You could double check with my husband, but I'm pretty sure that he would tell you I haven't had any wild mood swings or moments of irrational sadness to speak of. But on this one issue, I feel like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

One minute, I feel dead-set against having my step-dad come to visit during our first days with the baby....and I even start to have doubts about wanting my mom here to help out. DH IS MY COMFORT ZONE. Period. Part of me thinks that anyone else will make me uncomfortable and I will just want to curl up in bed with him and our new little one for days on end.

The next minute, I feel like I'm being silly and that having my mom and step-dad here will be a good thing. Besides, DH and I can always hole up in the bedroom if we want to while they're here. There is, after all, such a thing as a bedroom door. I mean, really, how bad could it be? Having my mom here to make meals, do dishes, laundry, and other stuff will be SOOOOOOO nice. This sounds very selfish, but I also suspect they will help out with groceries, miscellaneous baby items, and unexpected expenses that may pop up while they're here. If all I have to do is put up with my step-dad's mildly abnoxious neediness for a week or so to gain all the benefits of having my mom here for support, (and his eagerness to help with macho fix-it things around the house may come in handy as well), then that's not too bad.

I flip-flop on the issue almost daily. I'm pretty sure I'm putting too much thought into it, but I can't help it. I just don't want to have an experience like some of you have described in your comments and that I've also read about on pregnancy boards and such.....getting so freaked out and stressed that I flip out and explode in a hormonally-charged meltdown doesn't sound like a fun way to start my first days with a new baby.

I'm going to be totally honest with my mom about my feelings and force her to listen to me....I'll tell her EXACTLY what scares me about having house guests during that time (Well, I'll leave out the part about thinking that my step-dad is loud and abnoxious...that may not go over so well :) and then we can discuss it from there. If she knows how strongly I feel about my privacy and space, I think having them here will actually be tolerable and both DH and I will end up enjoying their company and support. If they know they have to play by MY rules and back off when I need them to, then it shouldn't be a problem, right? DH doesn't seemed frazzled by their impending visit. Maybe he can be my cool level-headed anchor in all of this and neutralize my leave-me-the-crap-alone hormones.

DH asked if I would feel the same way if it were my biological father coming to visit. I didn't hesitate and said, "Absolutely". Something just seems weird to me about having a male around (who isn't my husband and father of the child) after giving birth. But, like I mentioned before, that's why bedroom doors were invented. There may be times that I'll want to retreat and be alone, but there will also undoubtedly be times when I'd like to be social and share the joy of our new baby with my family. I'll be sad if I miss out on that.

Labels: family, general complaining, griping about people, pregnancy

I tried to "milk" myself yesterday. Ha! I was reading a thread on MDC in my "due date club" that was titled "Can you milk yourself yet?" and I was wildly curious.... me being a first-timer and all. Many people that replied to the post who are about as far along as I am without any previous children said that they weren't able to express anything from their boobies yet. But some admitted that they have actually started "leaking". It's my understanding that *most* first time mommas don't get any leakage until the baby is born, but again, I was curious.

So......I squeezed and a little bit of clear-ish liquid came out. Okay, now I was ultra curious. I posted to ask what the clear stuff is and someone answered that it is very early colostrum. Interesting. I'm a goof and got sort of excited about that....just knowing that my body is preparing itself to feed our precious little babe the super food that is colostrum. Speaking of which, I'm going to a breastfeeding class at my local health department tomorrow morning.

Labels: breastfeeding, pregnancy

I've been feeling our little sprout moving around like crazy these last couple of days. There have been a few jabs that were so hard, they kind of startled me. His or her limbs are close to my belly button again, which is an oddly sensitive area....even on the inside. Feeling the baby move has been the best part of pregnancy so far! Maybe all this movement is causing me to feel like I'm getting to know this little one and that's why I'm suddenly obsessed with NAMING IT.

Last night, while I was sitting at the computer adding to my list of potential boy names, the baby was REALLY active. Apparently, he either hated or loved the names I was choosing.....or it's really a girl in there and she was letting me know that I was wasting my time. Either way, the mushy mommy in me thought it was cute.

I went through ALL the boy names listed on http://www.thinkbabynames.com and carefully picked names I like. I came up with a surprisingly small list, for going through so many pages of names. I must be picky. I tried to consider what I thought DH would like as well, but (God bless him) I bet he will either:

A) Not offer any input at all.
or
B) Only offer negative input without coming up with any alternatives.

I guess some guys just don't start thinking of names until the end of the pregnancy.....I know he's not the only one, but I would at least like to have a list of potential names to choose from when the baby is born, even if we don't have it narrowed down to a few. I don't want the list to be comprised solely of the names I have picked out. It would stink to get to the end of the pregnancy only to find out that DH hates all the names I have chosen and that he either has no other ideas, or (the more likely outcome) that he has only come up with silly names.

I love you, DH....even in all of your bored indifference :)
Since I know you read my blog, I'll go ahead and list all the names I'm tossing around. Keep in mind that there are some I only find suitable as a middle name, and some I'm not totally wild about, but for some reason have an endearing quality that I could learn to love.

The entire boy list:

X@nder - (Xan for short) "Protector of Mankind" / "Warrior" (Greek) variant of Alexander
H*nry - "Ruler of the Home" / "Estate Ruler" (German)
Phinea$ - (Phin for short) - "Oracle" (Hebrew)
L*iam - An Irish/Gaelic variant of "William", which means "Determined Protector" (Old German)
Jerem1ah - "The Lord Exalts" (Hebrew)
0liver - "Olive Tree" (Latin)
Malach! - "Messenger of God" (Hebrew)
S@muel - (Sam for short) "God heard" or "Requested of God" (Hebrew)
Ott0 - "Wealth" (Old German)
Gr1ff - a variant of Gr1ffith, which means: "Strong Chief" (Welsh)
Rufu$ - "Red-haired" (Latin)
Hug0 - "A thinker, Intellectual" (Latin variant of the Old German "Hugh")
Axe1 - "The Father is Peace" / "Divine Reward" (Hebrew/Swedish)
M0$es - "Savior" or "Drawn out of the water" (Hebrew)
Cr0$by - "At the Cross" (Scandinavian)
Att1cu$ - "From Athens" (Latin)
O$r!c - (Oz for short) "God's Rule" (Old English)
Abr@ham - "Father of many nations" (Hebrew)
T1tu$ - "Defender" (Greek)
Pa$cal - "Easter Child" (Latin)
T0bia$ - "God is Good" (Hebrew)
D@nte - "lasting, enduring" (Latin)
Seb@$tian - "Revered" (Greek)
R0scoe - "Deer Wood" (Old Norse)
Ma+thew - "Gift of the Lord" (Hebrew)
L@t1mer - (Lat for short) "Interpreter" (Middle English)
J@mes - English variant of Jacob, which means: "He who supplants" (Hebrew)
P@blo - "Small" (Spanish variant of Paul - Latin)
Mile$ - "Soldier" (Latin) or "Merciful" (Old German)
Alex@nd*r - "Protector of Mankind" / "Warrior" (Greek)
Ezr@ - "Helper" (Hebrew)
C0smo - "Order, Organization, Beauty" (Greek/Italian)
Lar$ - Scandinavian variant of Lawrence, which means : "From Laurentum" - a city south of Rome. (Latin)
Gr*er - Comes from Gregory, which means: "Watchful, Vigilant" (Greek)
Jud* - The brother of James and writer of the NT book "Jude"....a Latin variant of Judah, which means: "The praised one" (Hebrew)

The entire girl list:

Pa1sley - "A popular fabric named for Paisley, Scotland"
Lol@ - (from Dolores) "Woman of Sorrows" (Spanish)
J@sper - "Semi-precious Stone"
T@l1u1ah - (Lulu for short) "Running/ Leaping Water" (Choctaw) - "Fruitful Woman" (Gaelic)
Lu1u - "precious; pearl; calm, peaceful, protected" (Swahili, Tanzanian and Hawaiian)
L~cy - (from Lucia) "Light" (Latin)
R~by - "red gemstone" (English)
Deli@ - "from the island of Delos" (Greek) In Greek mythology, Delos is the birthplace of Artemis.
W1ll@ - (Billie for short) "resolute protector" (Old German)
Marl0we - "driftwood" or literally, "lake leavings" (Old English)
Sc0ut - "to listen" or "someone who gathers information quietly" (Old French)
Ell1o+ - the anglicization of the name "Elijah", which means "The Lord is my God" (Hebrew)
1vy - climbing evergreen plant (Old English)
1ris - a flower name, also means "rainbow" (Greek)
M1a - In Israeli, feminine short form of Michal. In Latin and Scandinavian, a short form of Maria.
Lyd1a - "From Lydia" (Greek), a NT Christian woman called a "seller of purple" and described as a woman of business, probably affluent.
Cl0ver - flower name (Old English)
Ol!ve - olive (Latin)
Lel@ - "Black Beauty" (Kiswahili) or "Loyalty" (French)
Cl@ire - "Famous" (Latin / French)
Liese1 or Lies1 - a shortened German form of "Elizabeth", which means: "God's Promise" (Hebrew)
Mae - Variant of "May" (English)

Some of my favorites are:

Labels: baby names, dh, pregnancy

This blasted UTI will not subside, so I called my midwife this morning to tell her that I am about to resort to going to our family clinic to get put on some antibiotics. She had me call my back-up doc for the pregnancy to see if she would call in some antibiotics for me. Her office said that she would not do that without an exam, and suggested that I go see my family doc if I have one. I would have gladly gone in to see my back-up doc instead because I like her and trust that she would put me on the safest possible meds, considering her views on natural low-intervention pregnancy....but she is almost 2 hours away. I really don't have one particualar doctor at our family practice that I feel comfortable with, and I doubt that they would be open and understanding to me choosing a midwife for prenatal care and birth. I know that there are probably certain antibiotics that doctors have deemed "safe" to use during pregnancy, but then I'm so skeptical when it comes to most doctors' knowledge (or lack thereof) of pregnancy.....I would wonder if they REALLY knew the true effects of the drug on the baby.

So, my midwife (who is also an herbalist) told me to pick up some cornsilk, couch grass, and echinacea. When I went to the natural foods store, I found that they did not have any couch grass, so my midwife said it would be fine to use horsetail instead.

Here is my remedy plan:
* 30 drops of echinacea 3-4 times daily
* brew cornsilk and horsetail into a tea and drink it 3-4 times daily
* add more citrus fruits to my diet and cut down on sweets
* drink TONS of water
* drink AT LEAST a few ounces of pure cranberry juice every hour
* take 1000 mg of vitamin C EVERY HOUR, at least for a couple days

Oh yes, and here is the worst part....I've been eating beef like crazy lately and she told me to cut it out! I already knew she wasn't crazy about her clients eating beef, but it just sounds so good to me. She told me that beef protein can do some strange things to the urine's pH balance so it should be totally avoided...at least for now, while I'm beating this infection. She suggested I pick up some rice protein powder to supplement my protein intake. So, my protein will be coming from beans, rice protein powder, eggs, small amounts of cheese, and nuts. Some chicken is okay with me, but it has to be "hidden" in something like soup or a burrito for it to look appealing to me.

I am also supposed to use a spray bottle w/ water and a teeny bit of salt to clean off the...ummm...affected area everytime I use the restroom. I hope all this effort (and money!) pays off and knocks the infection out.

Labels: health, midwife, pregnancy, pregnancy whining

Oh dear. What a strange couple of days I've had. Yesterday, I woke up with a little headache. It really just felt like dull sinus pressure at first, but then progressed into a full-blown migraine that caused me to barf all over the carpet my hallway. I think that's the first time I haven't been able to make it to the restroom to toss my cookies since being a child. Once I did make it to the bathroom, I was throwing up so violently, that most of it went BESIDE the toilet. Sheesh.

I almost didn't clean it up right away. After all, my head was spinning and light and sound was still making my head feel like a balloon ready to pop. But I had just drank a bunch of cranberry juice prior to getting sick. I figured if I just let it be, I'd regret it. So, I srubbed the carpet as best I could and *sort of* wiped down the bathroom. I did end up feeling a little better soon after, and was able to eat some soup and toast.

I don't know what triggered that little spell. The first time I ever had a migraine, about 3 years ago, it was caused by me trying to fast for the first time and not going about it very wisely. I think I've had about 3 since then. Some I knew were caused by not eating properly. Others were just mysteries. This one was certainly a mystery. I got plenty of good nutrition yesterday - multigrain waffles w/ peanutbutter & honey, high fiber/protein cereal w/ almond milk, an apple, a turkey and cheese sandwich, plenty of water and cranberry juice (yep, the UTI symptoms are still plaguing me), and a piece of string cheese. Then, I had organic split pea soup and wheat toast after getting sick. Maybe too much protein and total lack of veggies? I dunno. I didn't have to babysit yesterday, just by coincidence, thank God!

Since I slept ALL DAY yesterday, I was unable to fall asleep last night, so I ended up sleeping until 11am today....and I woke up with a headache!!!! I feel fine now. No headache. Hooray! Still having that cruddy UTI sensation after I pee sometimes. It's not nearly as painful as some I've had in the past, and most of the time, I feel like I have knocked it out....then evening comes and I can feel its effects more plainly. Strange.

Okay, just cuz this place needs some pictures, Here's a pic of my DH when he was an Atari joystick controller for Halloween a few years ago:

Labels: pregnancy, pregnancy whining

We went to see the midwife and back-up doc today. It was our most exciting appointment yet! For one thing, I've only gained 2 lbs in the last month. That's enough to throw a party for in itself! Oh yes, and we also GOT TO HEAR THE BABY'S HEARTBEAT! Woohoo! It was amazing to hear it steadily wooshing away, loud and clear. The midwife said it was about 150 bpm. My husband recorded it with his fancy phone and turned it into an mp3 file. You can click HERE to listen to it. It's probably not that interesting to anyone else, but the novelty has not worn off for me yet. I'm really thankful that DH thought fast enough to record it.

My uterus is well above my pubic bone by now, so it was easily palpable when the midwife and her apprentice felt my abdomen. It measured at a little over 14 1/2, which is just about right since I am 14 weeks and 1 day today. After our appointment with the midwife, we went down the road to meet our back-up doctor. I felt so comfortable with her. She LOVES midwifery and all things that have to do with natural birth. She used to be a midwife before she became an OB/GYN and had 3 out of 4 of her children at home, UNASSISTED....and that was before she became a midwife! She backs up a lot of the midwives in the area and is a wonderful advocate for homebirth/birthcenter births. I had a pap smear done and the nurse offered to do a Doppler, but I declined since I had just had one done @ the midwife's office. After my exam, the doc sent me over to the lab to get my standard pregnancy panel done. The doctor said she is proud of us for making the choices we've made about childbirth and she was wondering how we came to the decision to deliver at a birthcenter with a midwife. I told her that I'm not exactly sure how we came to embrace this choice, but it immediately seemed like the right thing to do. My family is pretty "conventional" about pregnancy and birth, so I was raised to think that birth always had to be some big medical event. Beats me how I came to a different conclusion. I knew a long time before conceiving that I would like to shoot for a drug-free, epidural-free birth outside of a hospital. My husband is the one who originally brought up the option of homebirth, which I think is very cool. I've heard/read about a lot of women who have trouble getting their husbands on board with the idea of birthing outside of a hospital, so I'm thankful that DH supports and encourages it.

I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or what, but I'm feeling especially sappy about my wonderful husband. It has been really nice having him right there with me during my appointments. I feel like this baby and I are being very well taken care of and I'm very grateful for that. I can't imagine going through this journey with anyone else.

I praise the Lord for the healthy little person who is growing in my belly. I am so blessed to be the "vehicle" for such a wonderful thing! It's even more amazing than I thought it would be. Can you tell that the appointment today really gave me a little boost of confidence and peace?

Labels: midwife, pregnancy, pregnancy milestones, prenatal appointment

This weekend was pretty nice and relaxing. Fiday night we went and had dinner at our friend's house and had taco soup along with the pumpkin pie I made. We played the card game "Phase 10", which is really fun, for those of you who have never played it. Oh my goodness, I ended up eating 5 pieces of pumpkin pie in 2 days. Shame on me!

Saturday we had breakfast with some friends and had a little Bible study afterwards. We're planning on reading the Bible all the way through, 5 chapters at a time, discussing it along the way. I've never read the Bible from start to finish (seems like I always fizzle out around Numbers or Deuteronomy:), so I'm excited about finally doing that....even though it will take a very long time. Then, we just ran some errands and hung out at home the rest of the evening.

Yesterday we went to church, then went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch. I ate tons of chips, salsa, and queso blanco....along with 2 beef enchiladas and a beef taco. Oh yes, did I mention that I have been in quite a beef-lovin' mood lately? Strange, since ALL meat grossed me out for several weeks at the beginning of the pregnancy. Chicken's still not sounding so great, though. We went to the evening service @ church, then came back to our house with several of our friends and played Pictionary. We stayed up entirely too late, but we had a lot of fun. I'm not sure how much all that's going to change when the baby comes, so I guess it's good that we have late nights with our friends while we can. :)

I am 14 weeks pregnant today. Tomorrow is our 3rd appointment with the midwife and we'll also meet with our back-up doctor. I'm pretty tempted to just go ahead and listen for the heartbeat with the Doppler tomorrow. I just think it would be so cool to hear it. It would make the idea that there is a little person growing inside me a lot more real....although I am almost positive that I've been feeling that little person flip-flopping around in there. I'm past the stage where I just blame it on gas....it's a very recognizable flutter that happens mostly when I am laying in bed trying to fall asleep. Yesterday after clapping, singing, and moving around during our song service at church, I sat down to hear the sermon and could feel quite a bit of movement. Maybe the loud music had something to do with it.

I'm starting to justify using the Doppler at this next appointment because a lot of people listen for the heartbeat w/ the Doppler at every single prenatal appointment, which could easily add up to over a dozen times or more....along with 1 or 2 (or more)sonograms on top of that. With that in mind, it doesn't seem so bad to go ahead and use it just for this one appointment, since we're going to use the fetoscope through the rest of the pregnancy and have opted to skip the "routine" 20 week ultrasound altogether.

I got to hold a two-week old baby the other day. It was so wonderful and amazing, yet sad at the same time. The baby's mother claims she did not find out that she was pregnant until she was 38 weeks along. Although It's sort of hard to believe that she didn't at least suspect that something was going on all that time, I do believe how it could be possible. She is pretty overweight and has a top-heavy shaped body, so she was quite large around the middle anyway. She said that she spotted through the whole pregnancy and since she has irregular cycles anyway, she didn't think anything of it. She ended up going to the doctor because she said her stomach felt "hard" and she was afraid she might have a growth or a tumor. That's when she found out that she was pregnant and she had the baby a week and a half later. She is quite the "partier" so I know that she drank through the whole pregnancy and did not take care of herself at all. He appears to be healthy and she said that the doc gave him a clean bill of health at his 2 week check-up that morning. That's good. She's a friend of a friend....I don't really KNOW her....I actually do remember her from a crowd that DH and I used to drink with, but I don't think she remembered me. It is so sad for the poor little baby. She just seems so disconnected from him. She dropped by my friend's when I was over there exercising and seemed anxious to get that little baby out of her arms. She did not hesitate at all to hand me his bottle of formula so I could feed him. He was rooting around and crying and when my friend (who also has a new baby) mentioned that he looked hungry, the momma said "Oh, his bottle's in the car. I was just going to have my mom handle that when I get to her house in a little while." We convinced her to bring the bottle inside. I don't know anything about formula or the temperature it's supposed to be, but she brought this bottle of water in from her cold vehicle and then just dumped the powder in, shook it up, and had me feed the baby with it cold. I always thought that you're supposed to warm a baby's bottle up. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. It wasn't necessarily the fact that she was anxious to let others hold her newborn or that she seemed fine with a virtual stranger feeding her 2 week old child that bothered me....it was her overall attitude. She just wasn't excited at all. I guess she hasn't really had a chance to get excited about it. She is unmarried and not "with" the father of the child at this time. In fact, she doesn't even want to tell him that he has a child now. I hope she gets adjusted to motherhood and that precious baby gets the best in life, despite its rough beginnings.

Labels: friends, griping about people, pregnancy, spirituality

I just started reading Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize today. It has been sitting on my computer desk for a while now and I wish I would've picked it up sooner. A friend of mine gave it to me when I went to her daughter's 1st birthday party and said that the author has some interesting perspectives about God's promises concerning pregnancy and childbirth.

I've only read the first couple of chapters, but so far it is very uplifting. It is the story of Mize and her husband as they choose to have faith in God's Word against all odds. While the world was telling them that they could not have children and even if they conceived, they would be bound to miscarry, they believed that God had a better plan for them. Not only did God bless them with 4 beautiful children, He showed Mize in His Word that pregnancy/childbirth does NOT have to be a fearful, miserable, and painful experience.

Reading her story made me realize that I need to stay away from the forums at Mothering.com. I mean, I already knew that I spend way too much time there, but now I really need to STAY AWAY altogether for a long time. God's Word says:

"Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper."
-Psalm 1:1-3

Okay, I know that those are strong words....it sounds like I am calling everyone on MDC "ungodly". While I know that there are some great bible-believing ladies on MDC, most of the counsel I find on those boards is NOT godly counsel that lines up with God's Word. I have learned a lot while visiting forums like that, but I have also become inundated with stories of fear, negativity, and worry.

I don't want to be unrealistic and look at the world through rose-colored glasses, but I know that God's promises for His children are amazing. He offers so much more than what the world can offer me. The world offers uncertainty and fear. The world says that God condones (even causes) sickness, disease, and poverty......and frankly, His Word states the opposite. Through faith in His Word, mountains can be moved and the impossible becomes possible.

I want to feed my mind and my spirit with words of hope and peace instead of the junk I have been feasting on lately.

Speaking of feeding myself junk, I ate an entire bag of Gummi Worms the other day in like 20 minutes. Well, DH did get a few, but I'm surprised he could even get his hand in the bag at all, with the way I was scarfing them down. :)

Labels: pregnancy, spirituality

I can't think of anything to write about....hhhmmmm.

My mom sent me some maternity jeans that she bought from eBay, but they are too small. Poo! They are XL....and too small....and I'm only 13 weeks pregnant. What a huge rear I must have! hee hee :) Really, I think it must be the brand ("Babyology")because Old Navy XL maternity stuff is pretty big on me. But, I have a plan. I think I'm going to sew some patches of interesting fabrics together, rip out the side seams of the jeans and insert the strips of patches to make the jeans wider and more comfy. I've done that before with another pair of jeans and it worked out fairly well. OR.....I could leave them alone and try to get thin enough to fit into them AFTER the baby is born. :) Hhmmph.

Not much else going on here. I'm in our Christmas choir at church and we start practicing tonight. I've loved being in choir since I was in the 5th grade, so it should be pretty fun.

Oh yes, and I think I'm going to start referring to the little boy I babysit as "Bob"....just because it's much easier than typing out "the little boy I babysit" every time. I'd really like to sew today while I'm babysitting, but my sewing area is in a room that is not very toddler friendly. Basically, I use that room (what will be the baby's room) as a storage area for everything that Bob should not be playing with....my guitar, stacks of fabric and other sewing stuff, etc. I guess sewing's out of the question today, since I don't feel like dragging my sewing machine and table into the livingroom....and even then, I think it may spark Bob's curiosity too much and he would just want to touch and pull on whatever I'm sewing. Obviously, many mommas sew and do crafty projects while having their small children around, so there must be a way to do it....but Bob is very rambunctious and I don't think I would have the patience to sew while trying to teach him not to touch things. I should probably try it anyway....he may surprise me.

Labels: babysitting, clothes, pregnancy

I was driving myself batty earlier today trying to find the top of my uterus (fundus). Last time I went to the midwife, I was 10 weeks and 3 days, so the bugger was still hiding below my pubic bone. I am at 12 weeks and 4 days today, so I thought maybe I could feel it myself.

My Dr. Sears Pregnancy Book says to empty your bladder, lie down on your back, and feel around just above your pubic bone. There should be a hard round thing there and that's the uterus. I couldn't feel a darn thing. Well, maybe I could, but who knows? There are all sorts of lumps and bumps and stuff inside that squishy belly of mine...maybe one of those was my uterus. :) hee hee.

I'm just curious, is all. Every normal person in the universe has either heard their baby's heartbeat w/ the Doptone or had an early sonogram by this stage of the game. It's my own decision not to have those things, but I'm still feeling a bit antsy. My nausea has died down quite a bit. Aside from the gigantic volcano zits, greasy forehead, and painful boobies, I don't really "feel" pregnant. If my big gut is any indication that everything's alright in there, than the baby must be doing just dandy! Worrying is silly. I don't think I'm worried, per se....just excited to start feeling those little kicks and jabs. I'm not sure if I feel them yet or not. It's tough to tell, when I'm not sure what it feels like. There are times when I feel "movement" way down low, but I usually just chalk it up to a muscle twitch or gas or something.

There are 3 people in our lives who have recently had miscarriages. My cousin, my friend @ church, and DH's pal who lives in Texas. It's hard not to be curious about what's going on inside my belly when I keep hearing bad news like that....but FEAR is from the enemy and the bible says that perfect love casts out all fear. Fear is something that has no place in my heart, because I am a child of the Most High. The whole reason DH and I have chosen to have a low-intervention pregnancy is because we trust that we will be blessed with a healthy and uneventful pregnancy and birth. We KNOW that our child will be healthy and well and no amount of bad news can stop me from believing that.

Am I giving myself a pep-talk? Yep.

Labels: pregnancy, sadness

Here is a picture my mom took of me at the end of her visit. I was 11 weeks and 5 days. I'm not too fond of the photo for a few reasons:

1) It was a billion degrees in my house and I was all greasy and sweaty.

2) It was late at night and you probably can't tell, but I had a really tired look on my face.

3) I have been wearing sports bras lately to keep my swollen sore boobies contained (they feel so much better that way!), and this picture makes me look soooooooo flat-chested (despite the fact that my chest has grown).

4) I look like a man with his pants hiked up too high! :) And I promise, I don't wear my shirts that short - my mom made me pull it up for the picture.

Aside from all that, I think I look hot! Just kidding. No one ever likes photos of themselves....especially someone who's in that funky in-between stage of pregnancy where it mostly just looks like she's getting fat instead of having a cute round obviously pregnant belly.

My pooch looks bigger in the picture than what it feels like for real. I wasn't standing funny or sticking my gut out, though....but I swear it doesn't look that huge in real life. It's strange because I think the baby is not much larger than a lime at this point....although, my uterus is probably bigger than a large grapefruit. So, that big ol' pooch of mine is mostly bloatedness and fat! :) Ha ha!

Update on my sister's surrogacy experience:

My sis is about 7 weeks along in her pregnancy, I think. She is feeling really nauseous, has diarrhea and a bad head cold. Ick! She works full time as a Respiratory Therapist at a hospital and has 3 little ones. I don't know how she does it! She did call in sick yesterday and doesn't have to work again until Saturday night, so she's trying to rest a little. She usually works 3 12 hour shifts a week and it's starting to get to her. I'm not sure how she can keep up that pace while pregnant....and she's usually on her feet the whole 12 hours! I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but she's only carrying a singleton. My family (myself included) is very relieved about that. Everything is normal and healthy. She's had about a ba-jillion ultrasounds, which kind of concerns me. She knows that I'm choosing not to have ANY ultrasounds (if I can help it) and I think that she looks at me like I'm a paranoid weirdo. :) Not really. She just trusts the medical establishment and thinks that if there were any danger, doctors and nurses would know and warn patients. I won't get into what I think about that. She is very medically-minded, though, and I guess she doesn't see anything wrong with having an ultrasound every 2 weeks. Well, it's also not her baby and since the fertility clinic that's handling the surrogacy suggests that she go every 2 weeks for a sonogram until 12 weeks, that's what she's been doing. I think after that, they just do the regular 20 week u/s and not sure how many they'll order after that. Oh well, I'm sure I AM being a paranoid freak and everything will be fine. They still have her on progesterone shots until 16 weeks. My mom was talking to me about the whole thing when she was here visiting. She is supportive, but her main concern is that with work and feeling pregnant and ill, my sister's own children are going to get slighted. My mom assured me that if she sees my sister beginning to get cranky and impatient with her kids or neglecting them in any way because of the pregnancy, she will step in and have a talk with her. Even though I'm happy my sister is getting to do something she feels so strongly about, I'm glad that my mom will keep an eye on how her grandchildren are affected.

I'm wondering how everything will play out when it gets close to the time when we're both due. She is about 5 weeks behind me, and I'm assuming that she will need our mom to watch her kids while she travels to the town where the real parents live to give birth. The baby's parents really want her to come to them when it's time to give birth and she agreed to that, but it seems to me it would be more fair for my sister to be able to stay where she is and let the baby's parents come to her. Oh well, guess my sis has her reasons. Anyway, my mom told me that she would stay with me for as long as I thought I needed her help after my baby comes, even if it's as long as a month! I'm not sure how long I'll want her to stay when the time comes, but I admit that I get a little jealous to think that she may have to rush home to take care of my sister's kids sooner than I want her to leave. My sister has had my mom there to help her after all 3 of her births....and she has her at her disposal all year 'round. The selfish part of me thinks that my mom should stay with me regardless of when my sister has to travel because it's my turn to have her undivided attention. But then, the UNselfish part of me thinks it's no big deal and even if my mom has to leave before I want her to, I won't take it personally and let my feelings get hurt over it....it's just a matter of timing that may or may not work out. Besides, DH and I have been so blessed to be able to have children on our own. My sister is doing this for a couple that CAN'T have children on their own, and it would be pretty selfish of me to get my panties in a bunch over her needing my mom's help to give life to this couple's child. I'll do my best to make the UNselfish me win this one. :)

Labels: belly pics, family, pregnancy, pregnancy whining, surrogacy

Yesterday was our 2nd prenatal appointment. I am at 10 weeks and 3 days today. Everything went great! We opted NOT to try and hear the heartbeat with the Doppler because I really want to limit baby's exposure to ultrasonic waves. I know most of the studies out there on the negative effects of ultrasounds on human fetuses are relatively inconclusive, but I've read a few of them that were enough to make me feel very cautious. When I voiced my concern to the midwife, she seemed glad that I had done my research and told me that she has also been reading up on the subject and has the same concerns. I was glad that she didn't think I was just being unnecessarily paranoid. She said we'd probably be able to hear the heartbeat at around 16-20 weeks with a fetoscope, and I am totally fine with that. She will, however, use the Doppler during labor because it is almost impossible to use the fetoscope effectively when momma is in the tub or in strange labor positions on land. I'm totally fine with that as well. So, barring some unforseen circumstance, this little one will have only been exposed to the Doppler twice and have had no sonograms. I feel really comfortable with this decision.

My iron went back up, so the midwife was very pleased with that. I've only gained about 3 lbs since my last visit and that seemed to make her happy as well. She and her 2 apprentices tried to measure my uterus, but said the top of it is probably still right below or just peeking up over the public bone, so it was too difficult to measure. She checked my urine for protein and other levels and everything was good. My appointment with my back-up doctor is next month, October 17th. I suspect I'll get some lab drawn at that point, but not sure what else will be done.

I wish I had more to report. It is a lttle disappointing not to be able to have any concrete "proof" of the little one, but I know in my heart that he or she is growing beautifully and everything is a-okay. Women back in the day didn't have the technology to see and hear their babies this early on, and yet somehow, the human race survived. :)

Labels: midwife, pregnancy, prenatal appointment

Here's a quick update concerning my sister's surrogacy:
My sister got her first Beta done on Thursday and her HcG was 100. They were happy with that because it was so early on....they would have been relieved just to have a 50. Her progesterone level was 27. A couple days ago, her HcG was only up to 173 and her progesterone was down to 21. They were a little concerned with these numbers, so they increased the amount of progesterone suppositories she's supposed to take. The bio-mom was super nervous that this wouldn't turn out to be a viable pregnancy..... but today, my sister's HcG went up to a whopping 554! And her progesterone was at 80. They told her to cut back on the progesterone and she goes back on Thursday for yet another Beta. After she hits 1500, they will do an ultrasound to see the sac placement. She sounded very relieved when I talked to her today.....as, I'm sure the momma is too!

I'm glad I don't have to ride a scary rollercoaster like that. I mean, I haven't had anything done in the way of HcG levels or any of that stuff. I just choose not to worry about it and trust that the little bean is growing fine in my belly. (Actually he should be a little smaller than a kumquat by now!) There have been a few times when my nausea has subsided and my boobs didn't seem as sore and I got needlessly concerned....but I just know that this baby will be healthy and strong.

We have our 2nd prenatal appointment tomorrow and I am very excited. I've been trying to think of questions for the midwife to write down and take with us. I know it's early to be thinking of this, but I think I'm going to ask her what happens if I do test positive for Type B Strep later in the pregnancy. I have heard that a lot of women test positive for it and then they have to be on IV antibiotics when they deliver....but since I won't be in the hospital and I'm not all that crazy about antibiotics anyway, I wonder what the game plan would be if it would turn out positive. My midwife seems to think that Type B Strep has its roots in large livestock and that women may actually get it from dairy products. I haven't done any research on that, but I do still eat dairy. I eat string cheese occasionally and sometimes I drink goat's milk....but I haven't been eating any yogurt or cottage cheese or anything like that....although I know that acidophilis is good for you. I get so confused because my midwife is a vegan, so she is naturally going to steer me towards an animal-product free diet.....but I have no intentions of becoming a vegan, so maybe I need to make it plain to her that I need more dietary suggestions that jive with being a carnivore. (although I'm not exactly crazy about meat right now, anyway)

Labels: family, pregnancy, prenatal appointment, surrogacy

My cousin who got pregnant shortly after I did ended up having a miscarriage this week. My heart just breaks for her. Her pregnancy was unplanned with a man she is not married to yet, but it was to be her first baby and they were both so ecstatic about it. I was really happy for her too. Uuughh....I just can't imagine how she must be feeling right now. When she went to the doctor, they were having trouble pin-pointing her dates because she has really irregular cycles, so they did an ultrasound. They had trouble finding the sac at first, but it was there. They estimated that she was about 6 weeks along. She went back a few days after that for another ultrasound, since they didn't get a great look at it before. At that ultrasound, they said that the baby's heartbeat was lower than what it should be. I have no experience at all with this. We haven't even heard or "seen" our babe's heartbeat yet, so I'm not sure what the heartbeat should be at that stage. They told her to come back to have another ultrasound a few days after that, and they found that the heartbeat was gone. The doctor gave her a pill to "pass" the baby and some pretty hefty pain medicine for the impending cramps. She took the pill and the sac w/ the baby inside was passed the next day. That in itself had to be a horrific experience.

What an awful thing to have happen. I have never suffered the pain of a miscarriage and I can't even imagine what it would be like. I can't say what I'd do in that situation, but I think I might be too scared to take whatever pill they gave her to make the uterus contract. I would be in denial and assume that the doctor had no idea what he/she was talking about and then wait for my body's own signals. My cousin said she was having nausea and had tender veiny breasts. Her symptoms still seemed to be in full force. If it were me, I'd have a really difficult time believing the doctor and wait for the bleeding to commence itself instead of taking that pill. But then again, maybe that's not always a possibility, since some women do have to get a D&C done after miscarriage. That's something I definitely know nothing about, but my general distrust and scepticism concerning doctors would be enough for me to let nature run its course instead of helping things along with a pill. But like I said, I know nothing of the subject, so maybe she did the very best thing. I don't know.

I feel blessed to have this healthy little creature thriving inside of me, and so sad that my cousin will not get to feel that baby grow and bring it into this world. Tomorrow will be 9 weeks since my LMP date. Our next appointment with the midwife is September 19th. Woohoo! I will be 10 weeks along at that point.

I've felt EXTREMELY nauseous all day, but I really can't complain about it. I am thankful for the tiny baby taking shape inside me and the surge of hormones that is making feel so ill is also causing my baby's cells to form and multiply into a healthy and complete body. I'm just very concerned with how I've been eating. I had my first little bit of salad in a long time today and it was very difficult to chew up and swallow. The texture and smell just gets to me. All I want are high-fiber cereals, an occasional egg (and even more so if I don't have to cook it and look at its runny raw form. Ick!), any kind of beans, any kind of cheese (well, maybe not brie or anything funky like that), and potatoes (especially baked or mashed). That is about the extent of what seems palatable to me at the moment. I did eat some pizza today (no meat!!! meat totally grosses me out right now) and ended up scraping the cheese off of some of it.....so essentially, I ended up having white bread w/ tomato sauce on it. I'm continuing to take my vitamins and iron supplement.....but I'm sure the midwife is not going to be pleased with my lack of green veggies. Yikes.

Labels: pregnancy, sadness

I swear I could eat like 3 bean burritos from Taco Bell right now. Pregnancy does crazy things. When I used to go to Taco bell and order a Mexican pizza, I'd get it with NO BEANS...every time. Now, I think I'd ask them to hand me the vat of beans so I could scoop out as many beans as I wanted to shovel onto my Mexican pizza.

I started drinking Emergen-C in the morning before I eat my cereal and it seems to curb my nausea. Must be all the B vitamins in it....plus it's refreshingly fizzy. Mmmmmm.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about ultrasounds. There have been studies done on lab rats that concluded that the group of fetal rats (or mice - not sure which) that were exposed to a certain amount (I think it was pretty high) of ultrasonic waves ended up having cells in their tiny developing brains that did not move to the places they were supposed to move to. An article titled "Ultrasound Scans Linked to Brain Damage in Babies" was also a little disturbing. I think my husband and I have opted for NO ultrasound images, unless there is some overwhelming medical need for one. However, I'm pretty sure the little portable machine that the midwife used to listen for the heartbeat (unsuccessfully-it was way too early) at our last appointment is a doppler ultrasound device. So, I guess we've already exposed the bean to some ultrasonic waves. I may just be overly paranoid/cautious, whatever you want to call it. After all, the article about the mice said that there's no reason to think ultrasound waves have the same effect on human fetuses. The fetal mice were exposed to quite a high amount of ultrasound waves, compared to what the average human baby is exposed to for a continuous amount of time. AND the mice are really tiny, so there is less tissue between the ultrasound device and the fetus. I don't know. It's got me a little mixed up. On one hand, I'd rather be safe than sorry and just avoid ultrasounds altogether, just in case there ARE adverse effects that we are unaware of. On the other hand, I don't want to let a few somewhat inconclusive studies scare me into not checking for the baby's heartbeat at our next appointment. Another option would be to wait until I am closer to 20 weeks, when the heartbeat could be heard with a fetal stethoscope....but I think it's so reassuring to hear the heartbeat as soon as possible.

Labels: controversial topics, food, pregnancy, tough parenting decisions

toward an all-carb diet. I was illin' all day long. We didn't end up going to our friends' house for breakfast because one of them got called into work. It was probably better that we didn't go over there while I was feeling so puky. I was able to stomach a bowl of Kashi cereal (which happens to have 13 grams of protein per serving, so that's good), and a bowl of scrambled eggs w/ a little bit of cheddar cheese in them. Oh man, it was hard to cook and swallow those eggs. That was all until about 7 pm, when DH and I went to a local craft fair to see our pals' grandkids squaredance. Yes, you heard correctly - SQUAREDANCE. (Yeah, people are pretty down-home country 'round these parts) Anyway, there was a booth selling food near the squaredancing stage and they had beans and cornbread. I was getting over my nausea, as I usually do in the evenings, so a big bowl of home-cooked nourishment sounded mighty fine to me. I also had a piece of peanutbutter cake from the same booth.

We went to our pals' house after the squaredancing was over and the lady of the house made us French toast and sausage. She also made a giant chocolate chip cookie with cream cheese frosting and fruit on top. I refrained from the sausage, but did eat 3 pieces of french toast w/ syrup (and it wasn't natural maple syrup - it was maple flavored syrup-like product) and a couple bites of the cookie concoction. Oh, and I had a tall glass of 2% milk as well.

My midwife would not have been pleased had she been around today to witness my slow decline into the pits of junk-food. I don't feel good about what I ate, but lately bready/cakey/cerealy items are the only things I can eat without a strong gag reflex taking over as my stomach turns and my mouth gets watery. The thought of chicken in any form sickens me at the moment. Beef almost sounds as repulsive, but I could probably handle it pot roast form w/ potatoes and carrots.

I may have to live on beans and cereal for a while until my tummy calms down. I know it wouldn't be a very rounded diet, but at least it would be healthier than eating cake and french toast in the evenings when I'm not so nauseous.

Labels: food, pregnancy, pregnancy whining

My sweet husband took me out for Thai food last night. I was a little nervous once we got to the restaurant that I'd get my plate in front of me and wouldn't be able to eat it.....the restaurant just had that overbearing asian restaurant smell, which was thoroughly unappealing to me. My fears were unfounded. The food tasted great to me and I ate ALOT of it. I bet it was a little bit difficult for DH to believe that I had been sick on the couch all day, unable to eat anything, after seeing me shovel noodles in like that! I drank Sprite w/ my meal, which also tasted delicious to me, since we only stock water in our fridge and the sweet fizziness felt good on my belly.

And now....I'm nauseous again. We're going to some friends' house for breakfast this morning and I hope they aren't offended if I lay on the couch and only pick at the food they've prepared. They're true pals, so I'm sure they'll understand. Usually, they make eggs and oatmeal when we come over and I think I just may be able to stomach those two things....but then I haven't smelled it cooking yet.

Labels: food, pregnancy, pregnancy whining

Geez, am I nauseous! I don't even like going in my kitchen lately. Too many strong odors that I wouldn't normally notice....opening the refrigerator, getting near the trash can, looking @ dirty dishes w/ food residue in the kitchen sink....oh my...not even fun thinking about it.

My friend, whose due date is 6 days before mine, says she is battling nausea too. She normally has a very healthy lifestyle and eats nutritious foods every day, but she said that the only things that sound appealing to her are really junky processed foods like Spaghetti-O's and corn dogs. While I haven't craved those exact things, I haven't been able to bring myself to eat any vegetables for the past day and a half. I took one bite of salad yesterday and didn't even think I was going to be able to swallow it. Starches sound fantastic to me. A giant bowl of some kind of spicy noodles would be great. Please, husband....if you're reading this, take me out for Thai food today or tomorrow. I beg you. I know it's not very healthy, but it's the only thing that doesn't make me want to barf. I didn't think I'd be playing the crazy-pregnant-lady-craving card so early in the game, but it's almost uncontrollable. It's not really that I'm "craving" it....it's that I need food and all other food makes me gag.

Labels: pregnancy, pregnancy whining

Well, the little guy I babysit finally got his first hair cut! It looks so adorable. I had to try to hide my excitement when his momma brought him over this morning because I think she's kind of sad that his long hair is gone. Honestly, I can't see why. Okay, he did have really pretty curls, but all day I've noticed how much easier it is to take care of him. I know it sounds strange that hair could make so much of a difference, but it really does. No more having to make him angry when I brush it and pull it up......and when we went to the grocery store today, I felt that everyone around me knew he was a boy. He just looks cleaner and nicer. To me, the long matted mess was detracting from his gorgeous little face....but now he looks so adorable! I guess I've pretty much decided that I like long hair on guys, but not on baby boys....it's too difficult to tell the difference between boys and girls when their that young, especially when the baby boy has a pretty face and long eyelashes.

Symptoms update: Feelin' puky pretty much all the time (except for shortly after I eat) and I've also had times when I've been a bit lightheaded. It seems the pukiness has died down a little and it's about 4:00 in the afternoon. I was really constipated until about 6am when I suddenly had a stomach ache and needed to use the bathroom stat!....but, man-o-man, I had to work hard for it. I bought some prune juice while at the store in my desperate quest to end the constipation, but then I suddenly had diarrhea when we got home. Uuugh. I give up. My bowels are rebelling against me. I thought it would be difficult to watch the little boy today, while feeling so ill, but it hasn't been so bad. He's been very good the whole time. He was an angel in the grocery store, which was nice, since it took me like 3 hours to get my shopping done. Guess I was just moving slow and kept backtracking to find things I forgot that were several aisles over. All of this sounds pretty normal for being at 7 weeks from my LMP.

I am determined to eat very good nutritious food for the baby. I even ate a huge spinach salad w/ sprouts, red pepper, olive oil, and lemon juice earlier when I was really didn't want to because I knew I needed some good green veggies in my system. After the appointment w/ the midwife, I was really inspired. She made mention of how every single thing that is being used to build the baby's body is coming from ME. I already knew that, but it was good for me to hear the importance of putting good things into my body because the baby's nutrients come only from my nutrients. Kind of like a seed that's planted in the ground. It's amazing to think that the flesh of a ripe juicy tomato is only made up of the nutrients in the soil - that's it.

Labels: babysitting, food, health, pregnancy, pregnancy whining

Our first appointment with the midwife went great! It took us 2 hours to get to her center, which isn't too bad, since we made a few stops along the way and got caught in some pretty heavy rain. We spent about 3 1/2 hours there. First off, she asked us what we wanted - what kind of birth we would like to have. I kind of stumbled over my words trying to answer. I don't have any really out of the ordinary expectations, except that I want to have a natural birth outside of the hospital. I told her that a water birth is certainly a possibility, although when the time comes, I may just want to labor in the water and then get out to push.

I asked her questions like what her hospital transfer rate is, how many births she has attended, etc. Her transfer rate is extremely low and she has delivered (she's guessing) 600-700 babies. She is a licensed midwife and was the education director at a local midwifery school for a couple years. The list of her credentials is pretty impressive....oh yes, a doctorate in both nutrition and alternative medicine....and she is also an herbalist. Most importantly to me, she has strong faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and her beliefs seem to spill over into her work. She attributes her low hospital transfer rate to prayer. She told me that I should read the Bible and sing hymns to the baby while it's in my womb. I just loved that about her!

She believes it is important for DH to play a large role in the pregnancy as well as the birth. She welcomed him to learn how to feel my belly when the baby is bigger in order to determine its position. He can also help deliver the baby if he chooses to. When she felt around my tummy for the uterus, she guided his hands in a way that he could feel it too. She checked my urine for protein levels, glucose, etc and everything was perfect. She pricked my finger so she could test my blood sugar and hemoglobin, both of which were a little low. I admitted that I had not eaten a very balanced breakfast but promised her that I would from now on. Being an expert on nutrition, she warned me that she would be a stickler on how I'm am taking care of myself dietarily. I'm glad - I need to be kept accountable. She said the hemoglobin can be brought back up by eating more green leafy veggies and buying something called "Floradix" at the natural foods store, which is an natural iron and herbal supplement. DH picked some up for me today. That, along with my 2nd bottle of Nature's Plus Source of life prenatal vitamins ran him about $45! Doh! I guess keeping momma and baby healthy can be a little expensive at times.....but it's so worth it. If I have to keep taking the Floradix throughout the pregnancy, I'll have to find a cheaper source...maybe online or something....one bottle is only about a 12 day supply. Yikes! It must've been pretty expensive, because my vitamins only account for about $11 out of the $45.

Midwife estimated that I was at 6 weeks and 3 days yesterday and my estimated due date is April 16th. Everything looked good! She tried to hear the heartbeat, but told me that it is really rare to be able to hear it this early with her equipment. She has heard it as early as 9 weeks before, so we may be able to hear it at our next appointment on September 19th.

I actually felt pretty queazy this morning, which surprised me, since I've felt pretty great until this point (well, barring the headache I had on Wednesday). This morning, just the thought of swallowing water made me want to hurl. I knew that I needed to eat and drink though, so I ate some cereal and 2 eggs, and gulped down some water. It was rough, but I got it down. I just about gagged up my vitamins, but eventually got those down too. I never actually threw up....just went to the toilet and gagged a few times after I ate some baby carrots that felt slimy to me. Now, I'm cooking some chicken breasts and I'm going to make DH and I big salads with spinach, romaine, peas, mung sprouts, parmesan cheese, and olive oil/lemon dressing. Surprisingly, all of that sounds pretty good to me right about now. My mom said that I should keep Saltine crackers on hand for when I feel nauseous, but I've been trying to avoid white flour, so it just seems strange to buy them. I've heard smelling lemons is great for nausea, so I may try that next time.

Labels: midwife, pregnancy, pregnancy whining, prenatal appointment

Our Pastor announced our great news to the congregation yesterday morning. Everyone was really excited. A couple of our pals even treated us to lunch. Hooray for free food! There are now 6 pregnant women at our church, so our kiddo will have lots of friends to play with.

I am at 6 weeks(LMP) today. Had my first tiny wave of nausea that could've just been a result of drinking some strong Green Tea on an empty stomach. I love my 2 new $5 bras from Wal-Mart. They're almost like sports bras, but a little bit more flattering. You know how sports bras give that lovely "uni-boob" look? Ick! These are definitely not as attractive as fancy bra, but I am going for comfort at this point.

I am still alphabetizing the records and probably will be for the rest of the week. I'm tired of bending over a million times - that's the worst part. It's also difficult to arrange things in bins and shift things around, as I'm trying not to lift anything heavy.....and believe me, a bin full of records is heavy! When my little guy comes over, I can't really organize the records because I know he would definitely try to "help" and end up mixing up all of my alphabetical piles. He had a great nap today, so I was able to do some organizing when he was sleeping. Here is our messy record-strewn room:





I'm beginning to dislike the musty attic smell of records that I used to find endearing. Touching hundreds of records at a time is like touching a bunch of money or newspaper - your hands end up dry and black in about 5 minutes. If I never see another record again, I will be happy. Okay, I'm making it sound a lot worse than it is. I'm just stalling because I know as soon as I'm done with this post, I'm going right back to alphabetizing.

Labels: church, home business, pregnancy

I took my last pregnancy test today and snapped a photo of the entire test progression. I can't remember why I skipped taking one on Aug 10th. That doesn't sound like something I'd do at all. Oh that's right.....after that first barely-there line on the 9th, I was under the delusion that I was going to wait until AF didn't show that weekend to test again. Ha ha. Yeah right. You can see how that went.

I called my midwife this morning and we set up my first appointment, a week from today at 10:00am. She seemed very excited for me. I asked if it's something she would encourage DH to attend as well, and she said, "Absolutely!". She supports fathers being as involved in the pregnancy and birth as possible, which I think is great. I called DH and he said he's going to try to get off work to go with me. He really wants to go....it's just this blasted job he's got right now. If any employers are reading this, just a little advice: don't work your employees to the bone 6 days a week. It's bad for morale and your employees will end up hating their jobs and in turn, give you sub-standard work. Really, give them the weekend to spend with their families, you awful Scrooge! Okay, just had to get that little rant out of my system.

I've got to get to work. DH and I are taking a good number of our 3,000+ vinyl record albums to an open air market in a (somewhat) nearby town next weekend and I need to alphabetize several bins. Yuk. I am VERY excited about selling them and getting them the crap out of our house. We bought them super cheap from a local record store a while back, thinking that we could sell them on eBay, but eBay is totally saturated with records. Some records that could sell for $8.00 or $10.00 at a record store are selling for as low as .99 on eBay. Grading the records in order to accurately describe their condition within the listings is a time-consuming process. I would always end up grading them lower than what they really were for fear that a customer would receive it, think I graded it too high, and then leave negative feedback on my account. We have probably sold more records and made more money putting the records on consignment at our friend's store than we have with me spending months listing them on eBay. I hate failing at something that I had confidence was going to be relatively successful. Now any time I have an idea of how to go into business for myself, I am afraid that it will be a bust like the records. I would LOVE to make a living sewing cloth diapers and maybe even buying some wholesale diaper accessories and opening up an online store with my wares....but I'm not sure where to start. It seems you need capital to start a business and that's something we don't have a lot of right now.

Labels: home business, midwife, pregnancy, pregnancy tests

I swear that this is the second-to-last pregnancy test you will have to see posted on my blog. I'm so anxious to call the midwife back to set up my appointment! I hope she gets up early because she will probably be getting a call from me at about 7:30 or 8:00 tomorrow morning. Okay, maybe I'll wait 'til 9:00. ;)

Labels: pregnancy, pregnancy tests

Yeehaw. Almost as dark as the control line! I'm having problems posting about anything other than my thoughts surrounding this pregnancy, so please forgive me for being obsessive. I'm sure the novelty will wear off when I have an enormous bump and don't feel so spry and giddy anymore. Then again, my page is named "Making a Person".....so I guess is perfectly acceptable for me to go crazy and post only about this subject for a while.

We're going to announce the news to our pals @ church tonight. DH is not going to go through with his original plan of announcing the pregnancy, and I am relieved. He did get to use the joke/trick to tell one of our friends yesterday, so I think it helped him get it out of his system. That particular friend totally "gets" DH's sense of humor, so it went off well and there was no offense.....which I'm afraid would not be the case if he were to joke about it to the whole church.

Let's talk symptoms.....so far, I feel super bloated and hate wearing my jeans. I bought a pair of loose stretchy jogging pants from Wal-Mart that I am going to wear every day of my life. My poor boobies are REALLY sore and I just realized today that the days of them being perky and round are coming to an end. It sounds crazy, but I feel like I'm going to be needing some bigger non-underwire bras VERY soon. I still have a little bit of normal mild crampiness every now and then, but it's pretty dull and I haven't noticed it as much lately. I have to pee all the time, but this probably has more to do with the fact that I'm d