I just realized the other day that I never wrote our birth story. I'm not sure what was stopping me, other than the fact that I'm not sure how accurately I remember everything. I'm actually glad I waited to write it all out. I have feelings about the whole event that didn't surface until very recently. I apologize that it is so lengthy. You win a prize if you read the entire thing. No, not really.

On April 18th, I got up early and drove to my chiropractor appointment. Scout had turned breech at 37 weeks and per the advice of my midwife, we sought help from a chiropractor who knows the Webster Technique. After 3 adjustments the baby had turned vertex (yay!), but the chiropractor and midwife both wanted me to continue the adjustments through the end of the pregnancy.

After my chiro appointment, I went to a nearby park to walk. It was a beautiful sunny day...a little brisk that morning, but it felt good. I was 2 days past my due date and I was starting to get a little impatient. I wasn't terribly worried about it....just ready to get things moving. I hadn't lost my mucous plug and I hadn't experienced any real contractions (just strong Braxton Hicks contractions). I talked to my sister on the phone as I walked around the track, like usual. That always made the time go by faster, which was nice because I loathe exercise.

When I got home, my mom and grandma (who were staying with us to help with the baby) were doing some laundry. My mom was putting the finishing touches on the nursery and folding baby clothes. A friend of mine from church had called me on the way home from the park to ask if I was still pregnant and to check up on me. I was still on the phone with her when I got home. I remember telling her that I didn't think I was going to go into labor anytime soon because I hadn't had any big signs yet.

About an hour later (around 12:30pm), I was sitting on the floor in the nursery, helping my mom organize baby clothes. When I got up, I had an unmistakable labor contraction. I laugh now when I think about how worried I was that I wouldn't be able to differentiate between the BH contractions and the "real deal". Now I know that the two are VERY different. After the 2nd one, I told my mom that I probably needed to start timing them. I remember breaking out into a cold sweat with that second one. All of the sudden, I felt like I was going to poo in my pants! LOL I literally had to run to the bathroom (which was just a few steps away, praise the Lord!). I immediately thought about what I had read about how the body prepares itself for labor by emptying the bowels. It was that trip to the bathroom when I first saw some "bloody show". It was light pink-ish, but it was definitely there. It surprised me, because I hadn't lost my plug or had any unusually heavy discharge before then. About 10 minutes after that initial "emergency" bathroom visit, the urge hit me again. I just KNEW that my insides were clearing out for the big event! There was more bloody show, a tad bit darker.

I decided at that point that I'd better call my midwife and give her a heads-up. The birth center we were going to is 2 hours away, so my midwife wanted me to err on the side of caution and keep her informed at the smallest signs of labor. She told me to keep timing the contractions and not to get too excited because it's usually a long process and it could be a couple days before I actually have the baby. I was instructed to keep calling her as things progressed.

I can't remember how far apart the contractions were at that point. I could talk through them and it was still possible to focus on other things while they were happening......Although, when my mom slipped my grandma's watch on my wrist so I could time the contractions, I felt so stupid because it was the kind that doesn't have numbers on the face and my brain was not functioning well enough to figure it out.

DH had been "trained" in timing contractions through our Bradley Childbirth class, but he was at work. I called him to let him know what was happening. He asked if he needed to come home, but I told him not to. I was still convinced that it would be a few days before I went into "real" labor. I vaguely remember him saying that he spoke to an ex-cowrker on the phone after he had talked to me when my contractions were 10 minutes apart and she scolded him for not rushing home. I supposed I was just in denial and figured we had plenty of time. I didn't want him to race home if it was just a false alarm or the beginning of a several day process.

I ate a turkey sandwich and then laid down for a nap. I couldn't fall asleep because the contractions were getting too intense and closer together. The bedroom was so bright and I felt like I had really strong period cramps. I got back up and sat at the computer to type out directions to the birth center for my mom. She had obviously never been there before since she's from out of town, so I wanted to make sure she didn't get lost. DH and I didn't want anyone present at the birth, but we had agreed that it would be nice if our parents could come to the birth center afterwards to meet their new grand baby. Typing out those directions was difficult! I kept getting interrupted by contractions and losing my train of thought.

I realized as I looked at the clock on the computer that my contractions were getting to be less than 10 minutes apart. There was sort of an excitement and hustle-bustle in the house among my grandma, my mom, and me. We were all acting pretty antsy. Even though I kept telling myself that this could be a false alarm, I think I knew in the back of my head that this was it!

I called my midwife again and gave her an update. She said that I'd better tell DH to get home and start gathering things up to go to the birth center. She still cautioned me that this could be a false alarm, but that it was better to play it safe. I could tell by DH's voice that he was excited when I called him. He got home around 2:30 or 3:00 and we packed up the car. It seemed like we were taking so much stuff! The birthing ball, a cooler with drinks and food, my overnight bag, things for the baby, the camera, laptop, and video camera, pillows....we filled the whole trunk.

We stopped at Taco Bell because as usual, DH hadn't eaten all day. I don't remember if I ate anything at Taco Bell or not. I don't think I did. I think I had just eaten some baby carrots and hummus. I was trying to drink plenty of water (which I was already accustomed to doing anyway) because I knew the task that laid before me was like an athletic event, requiring stamina. Or at least that's what our Bradley book taught us.

DH was on the phone with friends and family for almost the entire drive. He was letting everyone know that I was in labor. It was a surreal experience. In between contractions, we laughed and joked around....but when I was in the middle of one, I just wanted quiet. He had to make his phone calls short and sweet because the contractions were about 5 minutes apart at that point. I shushed him if he happened to be on the phone or talking to me when I felt one coming on. I remember having the windows rolled down and thinking how wonderful the wind felt on my face as I was going through a contraction.

We got to the birth center at around 5:00 pm. My midwife had gotten there before us and had opened all the doors and windows, which felt nice....but she also had this awful wind-chime/pan flute hippie meditation music playing. I guess she thought it would relax me. It just annoyed me. I don't know why, but I didn't ask her to turn it off. DH and I got settled into the bedroom. We set up our lap top and a bunch of other stuff on the dresser, but DH had to move it all later because apparently, the midwife and her assistant need a place to lay their instruments. Oops. My midwife asked if I wanted to keep the music on. I said, "I guess I just want it to be quiet." Way to be assertive. Even in the throes of labor, I avoid confrontation. Ha! I asked the midwife if she was going to start setting up the birth pool soon, but she sort of hem-hawed and said that she would wait until her assistant arrived. She did an internal exam with my permission and I was 5 cm dilated. I can't remember how effaced I was. It excited me that I was already that far along. I think it surprised my midwife too because I was acting pretty calm.

We made ourselves comfortable and I sat on the birthing ball as I updated my blog and my MySpace page. (hey, I have priorites :) My updates were very short and sweet because it was getting tough to focus on anything but my contractions. DH messed around with the video camera, getting it ready. I drank some protein smoothie and some Green Machine Naked Juice and ate some crackers and baby carrots. The midwife and her assistant had gone to get something to eat and left me to labor and progress a little. I was excited, but pretty relaxed at the same time.

I remember asking about the pool a second time when they got back, but I don't remember getting a straight answer. It seems like someone said later on, "We could set it up, but you're already progressing so fast and laboring really well out of the water. But we can still set it up if you want us to."....or something to that effect. I agreed with them that I was progressing fine and doing great without the water. I knew that those things take quite a while to set up, so I figured it was pointless that late in the game and told them not to set it up. I didn't really think about it until long after the birth, but it really peeves me that they did not honor my clear wishes to labor in water. I'm not sure if they were just being lazy or what. Gggrrrr.

I wish I would've had someone take notes as far as keeping track of how fast I dilated and when certain things happened throughout the evening, because I have sort of a muddled perspective of how things went down. I know that I was 7 cm dilated at 7:30 PM because that is the last time we called my mom to update her on my progress.

At some point early on our Bradley instructor, who was also acting as our doula, showed up. I think it was shortly after my midwife and her assistant came back from dinner. I was super glad to see her. She has this calm and collected vibe about her that was really valuable to me that evening. She was very quiet and barely said anything the whole time, but her presence was felt.

There were some little kids playing outside next door and their screams were sort of annoying me. Someone went around and closed the windows for me. I felt pretty normal between contractions. I don't remember exactly when I started vocalizing through the contractions, but I know that moaning in a very low voice was very comforting for me for some reason. I can't imagine getting through a strong contraction without bellowing like a cow! The midwife, her assistant, and my doula kept commenting on how I seemed like I knew just what to do. The assistant asked me if I moaned like that out of instinct. I told her, “Nope...I read about it on the internet.”

As the evening went on, I was bleeding more and more. I labored in all sorts of different positions. I felt most comfortable on my hands and knees, or with the top half of my body draped over the rocking ottoman or birthing ball. I also labored sitting backwards on the toilet and by standing up, leaning on DH or the doula. DH was wonderful. He did anything I asked – rubbed my back, put pressure on my lower back, got up to fetch things for me. I kept leaving my bottle of water in weird places as I labored all over the birth center and he kept chasing it down for me. Every now and then, the assistant would check the baby's heart beat with the Doppler. It was always nice and steady. When the contractions were getting super intense, they heated up hot wash cloths in a crock pot full of water to press on my lower back. That felt so good.

I think it was about 9:30 or 10:00 when my midwife's assistant did an internal check and said that I was fully dilated and effaced with just a small rim of cervix still hanging on. This is where things get really fuzzy for me because I was in quite a bit of pain at that point. I just know that I labored in all sorts of crazy positions to try to get that rim of cervix out of the way, dripping blood all over the Chux pads all the while. Shortly after that, my midwife wanted me to push. She kept asking if I had the urge to push and I kept telling her no. I tried to push a little anyway. I figured she knew what she was doing, and I had never done this before so what did I know?

My bag of waters was bulging and still intact at that point. I'm not sure if it was before or after I started pushing that I began vomiting, but as soon as that started happening, things went downhill pretty fast. I could not keep any liquids down. I was trying to stay hydrated, but I just kept barfing everywhere. I puked all over the bed at one point. It felt a little like being fall-down drunk. In some ways, I was very unaware of my surroundings. I had read a lot of birth stories before giving birth myself and it seems that in every one, the mother says that she was “deep inside” herself or “lost” in her own little world or something similar. Add me to the list. I was definitely in my own little universe. My midwife kept saying things that REALLY grated on my nerves throughout the whole night. For instance, I would moan, “More pressure!”, speaking of my lower back. Everyone else in the room knew that I meant that I needed someone to apply more pressure to my lower back....but my midwife responded, “I know, dear, it WILL feel like there's a lot of pressure.” More than once (it seemed like a gazillion times) she said, “I know honey, that's why they call it labor – it's hard work.” I felt like telling her to shut up, but I didn't. I still can't believe that anyone would say that to a laboring woman, let alone a midwife. Sheesh.

I did a lot of fruitless pushing. I pushed out blood. I pushed out trickles of urine. I pushed out feces. But my bag of waters remained strong. The midwife's assistant did an internal check, during which I writhed in pain and cried for her to stop. I had pretty much lost control and was just immersed in the pain. I wondered when I would ever get to push my baby out. Both the assistant and my midwife agreed that the baby's head was still really high up in the bag of waters and was not pressed up against my cervix like it should've been. My midwife left the room (unbeknownst to me) and returned to tell me that she had been on the phone with my back-up doctor and that she was coming over to the birth center to break my water for me so that the baby's head would finally descend. My midwife said that she was too nervous about doing it herself because of the danger that the cord could slip in between the baby's head and the cervix. I had read about that. I think it's called a nuchal cord? It is not good. Most of the time, it results in a dead baby.

I was relieved that the doctor was coming over to do something, ANYTHING. It's ridiculous, but I felt like she could “save me”. I had allowed fear to take over. At that point, I was no longer sure that I could complete the task. I had done so well most of the day. From the first contraction at 12:30 until around 9:00 or so, I wasn't afraid at all. I was confident that my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing. I was confident that the baby was in the perfect position and that the whole birth was going to go off without a hitch. I'm not sure what made me get scared. Maybe it was the increasing pain. Maybe it was all the vomiting. Maybe it was the fact that I was “missing” the urge to push while I was being told it was time. I truly believe that my midwife is competent in her profession, but I have to admit that in the back of my mind I didn't have an unwaivering trust in her. Nothing personal, and I can't really explain it....the trust just wasn't there like it should've been. That wasn't a cognitive thought at the time, though. I just see it looking back at the experience.

The doctor broke my water and moved me in a position very quickly to ensure that the cord would not get smushed and pushed through the birth canal with the baby's head. I think that was around 11:45 PM. As a side note, I don't think that doctors are legally supposed to just jog on over to a birth center to assist a midwife like that.....but this doctor is special. She was a midwife before she became an O.B. And had 3 out of 4 of her children at home, unassisted. She is very passionate about natural birth and will do anything in her power to help women avoid unnecessary interventions during labor.

I did some more exhausted pushing. I did some more whining and crying, and whimpered, “I can't do this anymore” over and over. I was just deliriously tired and didn't think I could go on. I was tired of pushing, and it didn't seem like I was making any progress. I still didn't really have that uncontrollable urge to push I had read about.

My midwife told me that she thought it would be a good idea to go to the hospital so they could administer some IV fluids. I was dehydrated from all the vomiting and I was extremely weak. She said that she had called the doctor back and she would meet us over at the hospital. That was between 12:30 and 1:00 AM. DH pulled the car up to the door and they lined the seat with a towel and Chux pads. I was so scared to get in the car. It felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin with every contraction. I felt like climbing the walls because I didn't know what to do with the pain. I was not looking forward to being caged in a moving vehicle, forced to be in one position. I am very thankful that the hospital is just a block from the birth center. I cannot imagine riding in a car for any length of time in that condition. Just the minute or two I was in the car to get across the street was awful. I first got a strong urge to push while sitting in the car. In retrospect, I wish I would've waited for that urge before I had started pushing. It's pointless to go over all the “what-ifs”, but I can't help but wonder if I still would've become quite as exhausted and weak if I had not heeded the advice of my midwife to start pushing at 10:00 that night.

DH drove me up to the hospital entrance and I was helped into a wheel chair. I was pushing the whole time they were wheeling me to the labor & delivery wing. I'm sure blood and amniotic fluid was leaking all over the place. I was pushing the whole time I sat on the edge of the bed while the nurse inserted the needle for the IV. I sipped ice cold purple Gatorade. It tasted so good. They strapped a fetal heart monitor around my waist and I could hear the heart beat loud and clear. I must have asked a billion times if the baby's heart rate was okay throughout the rest of the labor. I could hear it drop a little every now and then, but they assured me that the baby was not in any danger. I told DH to call my mom to let her know we were at the hospital, but I'm glad he talked me out of it. It would've been a bad idea to tell her that we had to go to the hospital before knowing the final outcome. I'm sure it would've worried her even more than she already was.

The doctor had me push while sitting on a birthing stool (I had pushed on it for a little while at the birth center as well). She was telling me to push really hard out of my bottom, like I was having a bowel movement. It seemed like I was pushing for an eternity. I dreaded every time a contraction started because I knew I had to try to push with all of my might and I still felt so weak. I forgot to mention that my contractions had been “double peaking” since early in the evening, meaning as soon as it felt like one was over, another smaller one would wave over me.

I barely had a second in between contractions to rest. I felt so defeated. I hate to admit it, but in my mind I had resigned myself to the idea that my labor would end in a c-section because the baby's head would not descend. The doctor assured us that the baby's head WAS descending and that she wouldn't be having me go through all of that if she thought it was going to end in surgery. I wanted so badly to believe her but I still felt too weak to stand up, let alone push a baby through my pelvis. DH had left the camera and the video camera over at the birth center because he shared my fear that the birth would end in an emergency c-section and felt really disappointed.....to the point that he wasn't excited about documenting the whole thing. Of course he didn't say that at the time and neither did I, but I felt the same way. Pictures were the last thing on my mind right then.

They helped me move to the bed. I was sitting up, but sort of reclined and the doctor had one of the nurses take a bed sheet and tie a knot at both ends. I took one end and the doctor stood at the foot of the bed and held the other end. I think (?) my midwife, her assistant, and I maybe another nurse or my doula were pushing my legs up toward my shoulders. The doctor told me to pull as hard as I possibly could on the makeshift “rope” every time I had a contraction, while pushing out of my bottom end at the same time. It was so difficult, but extremely effective. I could actually FEEL the baby's head descending. At that point, I wasn't really thinking that's what it was. It just felt as if my pelvis was cracking apart. Seriously.

The doctor was like a cheerleader. She was telling me what a fantastic job I was doing at the end of each “tug-of-war” session, yet she would challenge me to do even better and push even harder with each contraction. I felt like my lips were going to pop right off of my face and every vein in my neck would explode. When everyone said they could see the baby's head, I didn't believe them. Everyone had been telling me that I was making such great progress and that the baby's head was on its way down all evening, so I assumed they were just trying to give me some hope. DH looked down and saw the top of the baby's head and joked that it would need a hair cut as soon as it was born. I think at that point, I started believing that I could actually push the baby out. Now they weren't just trying to make me feel better – My husband could actually see our child's hair. Talk about a boost of confidence!

The head was definitely coming out. I could feel the “ring of fire” down there. It is honestly a horrible burning sensation, but I really didn't mind it. I knew from everything I had read that this was it....the ring of fire meant I was about to meet our baby.

The doctor handed the tug-of-war job over to one of the nurses so she could free herself to catch the baby. She had me lower my legs (which did not feel good!) and she gave me explicit instructions on how to push the baby out so I wouldn't tear. She had me push the head out in short little grunts...which was really tough to do and I don't know that I followed her instructions so well, but whatever I did worked.

At 3:13 AM on April 19, 2007 I pushed Sc0ut Alex@ndra into the world. When they announced that it was a girl I was pleasantly surprised. I was ecstatic, actually! The doctor was doing something at the foot of the bed with her, but I couldn't see. I imagine that she was suctioning the baby's airways and making sure she was breathing alright. I asked if she was okay. The doctor said yes. They laid her on my belly and covered us with blankets. I was laughing giddily with pure joy. Her eyes were open and she looked beautiful! She had dark hair that looked a little wavy since it was wet. It was a miracle! DH and I had just become this little girl's daddy and mommy. She cried a little bit and I stroked her and hugged her and said, “I know, sweetie, you had so much hard work to do! You've just been through a lot!”



We let the cord stop pulsing before DH cut it. I don't remember how long that took. I'm also not sure when I delivered the placenta, but it doesn't seem like it was that long after the birth. Maybe 20 minutes? I didn't have any excessive bleeding and no tears. (just a WHOLE LOT of swelling...yikes!) . I put her to the breast shortly after that and she suckled a little bit. She seemed to know what to do right away. The rest is a blur. I know they let her stay on my chest for quite a while before taking her to get weighed and all of that. She weighed 8 lbs, 5.5 oz and was 21 inches long, by the way.

DH had snapped a picture of her with his fancy camera phone just as I was pushing her out, so we did get some documentation of the birth. It's actually an awesome picture that I will cherish forever.

DH called my poor mom and grandma, who hadn't been updated since 7:30 PM, to let them know that they had a brand new granddaughter/great-granddaughter and that we had transferred to the hospital. It was 3:45 or so when he called them. I wanted them to come to hospital right away. They hadn't been to bed at all, (because they were worried sick) but they they hopped in the car and drove the 2 hours to come see us anyway. They got there around 6:30 AM and met our sweet baby girl. Scout nursed for a long time after they got there. We were all amazed at how great she was sucking.

We stayed at the hospital for about 36 hours after she was born. She roomed in with us, which was nice. She only went to the nursery twice: Once for about a half hour at 5:00 the morning she was born so they could take her footprints and clothe/swaddle her, and once to get her PKU test the day we were discharged. We declined all other procedures and injections. She did not get bathed and did not get the erythromycin in her eyes, per our request.

She nursed like a champ right off the bat. I had a lot of soreness and even blisters (ouch!) in the beginning despite the fact that she actually had a really good latch. Her mouth was open wide, her lips were flanged, and I could see her little tongue where it was supposed to be. I just think that my body needed time to get used to a nursing baby. I know all the books say, “If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.” But I beg to differ in my case. Nothing has changed about her latch and the soreness has subsided entirely. She most certainly gets plenty of milk.

I am so thankful that all the people surrounding me during the entire process would not let me give up. I truly believe that any other doctor in any other hospital around here would've pushed me into a c-section. Not that c-sections don't have their place. If mom or baby is in danger and that's what it takes to bring them through safely, then praise the Lord for c-sections! But I am so pleased that my doctor let me labor without forcing any kind of medication, intervention, or surgery on me because she knew that's what we wanted.....and she knew that the baby and I were both safe (even though we did not fit into the average time frame most hospitals would “allow” a woman to remain in the pushing stage while exhausted).

At a few of my post-partum check-ups, my midwife assured me that the next time I give birth I will not have to transfer to the hospital because I “will know what to expect and have more confidence”. I'm not sure how that makes sense, since the reason why we transferred was due to dehydration/exhaustion caused by incessant vomiting. That's nothing I could've prepared for or prevented, I suppose. I didn't say that to her; I just agreed. But after I've had time to ponder it, I think she was just saying that to detract from the fact that (maybe?) she messed up by having me push too soon, I don't know. There's no doubt that my own fear played a BIG part in me having rough time towards the end, so I can't rightly shift the blame onto anyone else.

I may change my mind, but if we have another child I am seriously considering starting out in the hospital. It would absolutely HAVE to be that particular hospital with that particular doctor, though. Both DH and I felt very comfortable there, knowing they are big proponents of natural birth. I noticed the nurses wearing buttons on their scrub jackets that said things like, “Birth is Normal.”

I am still very supportive of home birth and believe that it is wonderful thing. But I think that I personally would labor with more comfort and confidence in the hospital that took good care of me and my family and respected all of our wishes to have a natural, low-intervention childbirth than I could at home, which is 2 hrs from that hospital (I wouldn't step foot in any of the nearby hospitals while in labor). And I'm not sure that I would consider going to the birth center again, since I didn't really enjoy my midwife's presence during the labor process. Again, it's not personal and says nothing about what I think of her abilities as a midwife...I'm just not sure she's the birth attendant for me.

Although the birth wasn't exactly the way I had envisioned it, I feel so blessed that things happened the way they did. I feel triumphant that it was a natural, drug-free, episiotomy-free, incision-free, vaginal birth.....and most importantly, we ended up with a beautiful healthy little girl. Praise God.

I hope that most of this information is accurate. Hopefully, DH will skim through and remind me of anything I missed or needs changed. I had debated whether or not to share the...ahem...uh, "money shot" photo here. But since you can't really see anything, I figured "what the hey".

Labels: birth story, labor/birth

Breastfeeding seems to be getting much easier. My nipples are still a little sore, but I can tell that they are healing from the rough start we had. Our little girl is getting plenty. I love it when she is done eating and there is milk dripping from the corners of her tiny mouth. I love it when she drifts off to sleep in my arms with a full belly. It seems like all I do is nurse her, but that in itself is so satisfying.

We haven't started using cloth diapers yet, although I am looking forward to making that transition. I just figure that my mom and grandma have enough to do around here without me asking them to wash poopy diapers in addition to our other laundry. I want to start using cloth soon, though....plus, we're running out of disposable diapers and we are in somewhat of a tight financial spot right now.

Speaking of which, we have no insurance and now we have an unexpected hospital bill to pay for. I try not to think about that too much. I know it will get taken care of, even if we just chip away at it with small payments over a long period of time. The safe arrival of our sweet daughter is certainly worth a hospital bill, no matter how expensive.

I have put a lot of thought into how I will refer to our little girl in blog-land. I've decided that there is no harm in using her real first name. I Googled it to see how easy it would be for friends and family to find this page if they did a search for her name, and there are so many other pages that come up in the search results - I doubt that they would ever stumble across this one.

Her name is Scout.

One of the things I included in our birth plan was that we would celebrate the arrival of our new baby with a carrot cake from our local natural foods store (yum! my favorite!) Here is a picture of Scout with the cake her daddy ordered for her. Sure, we ate it a couple days after her actual birthday....but it was still special...and really delicious.



Oh yeah, and here is a pic of the very first time I met Scout:



I LOVE this picture. It makes me want to cry.

Labels: cloth diapering, finances, food, labor/birth

I am up watching t.v. and piddling around on the computer while DH is sleeping with the baby in the recliner (gosh, I need to think of a blog name for her). I SHOULD be sleeping as well - I know I'll regret it later - but it feels kind of good to kick back and wind down. **time elapsed** Baby woke up and I am now typing one-handed while nursing her. I'm getting better at breastfeeding without having to arrange 90 pillows all around me......in fact, I think I was making things way too complicated with the nursing pillow and whatnot. Now, just having her across my belly (which is a pillow in its own rite) seems to be the most comfy position for both of us.

Here is a pic from my labor at the birth center. DH didn't bring the camera or video camera to the hospital when we transfered, but I don't mind at all that we didn't get any pics or video of my labor at the hospital - at that point, things were a little too intense to be fooling around with a camera.



DH did, however, have his camera phone handy when our little girl made her grand entrance. He snapped an amazing photo of her as I was pushing her out. I don't think I'll share it here, though. It doesn't show any graphic nudity, but it's still a little personal, I suppose.

Labels: labor/birth

Hi everyone! Sorry about the delayed update. We've just been too swept up in the whole birth process to think about blogging. I'll give a more detailed report later, but here's the short of it.

My labor was progressing beautifully Wednesday afternoon. So fast, that by about 10 pm, I was already dilated to about 9, with just a small cervical lip on the right. The baby's head was still high and my bag of waters was bulging, but very tough and intact. My doc came over to the birth center at about 11:30 pm to break my waters and make sure that the cord didn't get in the way of the head. Long story short, I kept vomiting every bit of water and juice I drank. I never had the urge to push, even when I was competely dilated. I pushed for a long time at the birth center and I got so exhausted and dehydrated that my midwife thought it would be a good idea for me to get IV fluids @ the hospital across the street. That 1 block car ride was the longest car ride of my life! I pushed for several more hours at the hospital. My wonderful doctor and birth team would not let me give up, even though I kept saying, "I can't do this anymore" over and over again. Any other doc would've made me get a c-section with that many hours of dehydrated/exhausted pushing. But the baby's heartrate remained strong and she assured me that I was making progress.

I pushed our little girl into the world (drug free) at 3:13AM on April 19th, 2007. She was 8 lbs 5.5 oz and 21 inches long. She is so gorgeous! I love her so much!

Email me if you want to know her name. I'll try to reply quickly. I haven't decided what her blogging alias will be yet.

Both DH and I are ecstatic and amazed at this little miracle....beyond what words could ever express.

Labels: labor/birth

I'm in labor!!! 5 cm dilated. Pink-ish mucus. bag of waters still intact. Ctx 6 minutes apart. We're @ the birth ctr. right now. Yay!

Labels: labor/birth

Only had a few period-y cramps today. I did, however, discover a glop of mucous whilst wiping this evening. It didn't fit the description of being stringy or blood-tinged, though. More like yellow and jiggly. Yeehaw.

I've been continuing my chiropractic care even though the baby is vertex now. I think I'm beginning to warm up to the profession and may even think that chiropractors are not quacks afterall. Well some of them may be, who knows. I've been feeling really good lately. I'm full of energy (okay, I still take a 2 hour nap every day) and my body just feels less bloaty and icky. Yeah, bloaty and icky - those are scientific terms. I could chalk it up to eating better and walking, but I have to wonder if I don't owe at least some of this to the chiropractic adjustments.

Labels: labor/birth, pregnancy milestones

I've been having that I'm-gonna-start-my-period feeling all day yesterday and today. Sorta crampy, but nothing too strong. I know this could go on for weeks before anything big happens, but I'm still excited. I'm just assuming that my body is doing something productive in there.

Labels: labor/birth, pregnancy milestones

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement! I'm a lot more positive about the whole situation today. (If you couldn't tell, I was a wee bit crabby when I wrote my last post) I am more optimistic that the chiropractic adjustments will work and feeling less freaked out about the money we are spending on them. I suppose we don't have a choice. We need to try everything possible to turn this baby and don't want to regret not doing something that could've worked just because we can't afford it. DH has been so wonderful. He probably doesn't know it, but his attitude and calmness has really grounded me and is making me more confident and relaxed.

To answer your question....No, unfortunately my midwife will not deliver a breech baby. She is licensed and bound to all sorts of silly state laws that keep her wrapped up in red tape and a trail of paperwork. She really has to watch her step when it comes to things like that. She did tell me that if she is unaware that a baby is breech and labor is in the pushing stage, she will go ahead and deliver it. At that point, of course, she wouldn't really have a choice anyway.

I hate talking about the what-ifs because I just don't want to give any room for them, but here's what would happen if the baby is breech when I go into labor: I would end up having to go to the hospital and my back-up doc would perform a c-section. One of the many wonderful things about my back-up doctor is the fact that she is very passionate about natural birth and is happy to perform VBACs. Apparently, when she does a c-section, she "double stitches" the incision in such a way that the uterus is more likely to remain strong during subsequent vaginal births. I have also been told by our doula (she has worked w/ our back-up doc before) that my doctor lets women w/ breech babies labor for as long as possible before wheeling them into surgery. She has seen babies turn vertex during the labor process just before a c-section would've been performed and wants to give mommas every chance for a vaginal birth. I don't even want to think about that right now, though. I realize that having a c-section is not the end of the world. All I want is a healthy baby and if that's what it takes to get him/her here safely, then I thank the Lord for the marvels of modern medicine. But this option is obviously one that I am not willing to just bow down and except. Did I mention that we don't have any health insurance? Of course, that's certainly not the only reason I don't want to have a c-section....but it does factor into the equation.

I believe that the baby will be vertex before my labor starts and I will be able to deliver him/her vaginally. There's still time. I imagine this will just be a funny little thing to write in the baby book that I can tease my son or daughter about later - that he/she was naughty and caused mommy and daddy stress even in the womb.

I feel like my time doing weird baby-flipping exercises will prove to be fruitful. It seems like there is a lot of movement when I am laying with my lower body elevated on the ironing board, which is a really good thing. One of the things that was on the list of baby-turning techniques that the chiro gave me was that frozen veggie trick. I tried it this evening, but I think I caught the baby at an inactive time because the cold didn't seem to phase it. Although at this point, I'm not entirely sure that he/she hasn't already changed positions. It's really tough to tell what's what. The lump that did feel like a head to me is now feeling more like a butt. Eh. What do I know?

I go see my midwife tomorrow and she is going to feel around and check the baby's position again.

Labels: labor/birth, prenatal appointment

Crud. Guess whose baby turned breech?

I was a little stressed and emotional yesterday after my midwife confirmed what I had already suspected. Since last Tuesday, the booger flipped. I am trying to keep a positive attitude and visuallize this little one with its head down and tucked under nicely, its back against my belly, and one of his/her heels jammed up in the left side of my ribs, like it used to be. My midwife and her assistant (as of yesterday) believe that not only is the baby breech, but it's back is to my back.

I have been talking to him/her and telling it nicely to get in head-down position. I even give it little pep-talks. "I know you can do it! Yay! Go baby!"

After the appointment w/ the midwife, I went to a chiropractor for my first Webster adjustment. Let me tell ya, I'm a little torn about what to do. On one hand, I'd like to try everything I possibly can to get my baby in the vertex position....including horribly expensive visits to the chiropractor. On the other hand, I don't know much about chiropractors and frankly, I'm a little skeptical. I'm afraid that it may not work and all we'll end up with is an empty bank account. I am trying hard to keep an open mind because I know that if I think it's not going to work, then it won't. If we decide not to go ahead with the chiropractic adjustments because of the money, and the baby doesn't turn on its own, I will be left wondering if the Webster adjustments would've worked and I'll be angry at myself for not giving it a try. I expressed my concerns w/ the chiropractor (I didn't go as far as saying that I'm skeptical, but I'm sure I was throwing out that vibe) and she said that she doesn't want me to miss out on the benefits because of money and that she'd "work with us". I have another appointment tomorrow and DH is going with me so we can discuss payment with her.

In addition to the chiropractic adjustments, I am also doing lots of exercises that are suggested at SpinningBabies.com. I walked for almost an hour today, I've been rocking my pelvis on an exercise ball, and whenever I feel that the baby is being active, I lay down with my whole lower body elevated (on an ironing board propped on a couch) for about 30 minutes. The chiropractor would also like me to try moxibustion....which I'm not very familiar with, but I know it is a Traditional Chinese Medicine practice. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't want to get into anything all mystic and New Age-y.

No matter what we decide to do, I know that God has his hand on this baby and I know that it is not His will for me to fret and worry. The most powerful and effective thing I can do to help this baby turn is to trust in the Lord.

Okay, I just needed to vent. Please, no stories of people who tried to turn babies and did not succeed. Please, no horror stories. And please, no comments that are along the lines of "Whatever happens, happens and it must be God's will". I don't really want to get into why, but I do not subscribe to that way of thinking. I just wanted to write what was going on in my head so that WHEN our baby turns over in a perfect little vertex position, I can share it and you can be excited for me.

Turn head down, baby! You can do it!

Labels: labor/birth, pregnancy whining, prenatal appointment

I've been thinking a lot about 2 things:
Baby names, and what things we need to bring to the birth.

The baby's name is still unsettled. But I finished a pretty extensive list of things we need to bring to the birth center when I go into labor. I guess it would be a good idea to pack as much of this stuff as we can pretty soon, just in case.

Things to Pack for the Birth
+++++++++++++++++++

IN THE CAR:
Birth Kit
Bradley Handbook
Car Seat
Pillows (3 or 4)
2 towels
blanket
big metal bowl*
rubber gloves
chux pads*

FOR BABY:
1 Gown
2 Newborn undershirts
5 Receiving blankets
1 thicker blanket
1 pack newborn diapers
Outfit to wear home
Hat
Booties
Mitts
Baby book & ink for footprints*

FOR ME:
Old big blue nightshirt
New green gown
Light robe*
Heavy robe
Slippers
2 nursing bras
2 pairs socks
3 pairs underwear
chapstick
toothbrush
toothpaste
travel size shampoo*
travel size soap*
postpartum care kit (Thanks, Wendy!!!)
Clothes to wear home
Hair clips
Pack of maxi pads
Bible
Book/Magazines*
Phone
Phone charger
Nursing pillow
bathing suit top*
Nursing book

FOR DH:
Laptop
Video camera/tape
Digital Camera
Batteries for both*
USB camera cord
Swim trunks for the pool
clean clothes
toothbrush
CDs
CD player
Phone
Phone charger
chapstick
Watch for timing contractions
Tennis Balls for massaging me*
Lotion/Oil for massaging me
2 washcloths

OTHER:
Ice Chest
Ice*
Gallon of OJ*
4 protein smoothies*
4 apples*
whole grain crackers*
bottled water*
4 Kashi frozen dinners*
other snacks*
straws*
energy drinks for DH?*
Our list of potential baby names
Extra copies of birth plan

* indicates things we still need to buy

So yeah, I know it seems like we're packing way too much for just a couple days, but I'd much rather have too much stuff than leave something behind that I wish I would've brought. The birth center is an hour and 45 minutes away. Besides, I got most of my ideas for the list straight out of the Bradley Childbirth handbook....so if it's too excessive, it's their fault. I feel a little silly packing as though I'm going to give birth in the car (that's what the metal bowl is for, in case you were wondering..... to catch the placenta), but the book told me to do it.

I bought the perfect little summer gown to labor in. (Okay, it's not "little" - it's a huge tent) It's light, sleeveless, and it buttons halfway down the front for easy nursing. I'm sure the gown will come off at some point - especially since I plan on laboring some in the pool, but it'll be nice to walk around the birth center in something comfy and convenient for occasional vaginal checks and whatnot.

DH is going to be able to use his fancy phone as a modem, so we'll be able to update my blog from his laptop while we're there. I'm sure we'll be a bit preoccupied, and I'm not sure how detailed the updates will be, but I'd like to at least attempt to keep y'all informed through the process.

I'd love to have someone other than DH take photos and videotape, but we don't want any family or friends there, so that's out. Our childbirth class instructor is invited to the birth. I don't want to make her feel obligated to be our photographer, since she will be supporting us and sort of filling the role of a doula.....but I might let her know if she has a few moments here and there to pick up the camera, then that would be great. If not, that's fine too.

DH may have stuff he wants to add to the list. I posted it on the fridge, so we can start working on it soon.

Labels: baby names, labor/birth, pregnancy milestones

Wow. We have totally hit the jackpot when it comes to our childbirth class situation. I just spoke with the Bradley Method instructor that our midwife refers all her clients to, and she is AWESOME!

She usually has about 3 classes full of couples going on at any given time, but she has decided to slow down a little and take a breather for a few months. She has offered to give us PRIVATE CLASSES during her time of reprieve.....so basically, DH and I get to set a weekly day and time that's convenient for us, as long as it jives with her schedule. She lives about 45 minutes to an hour from us and normally holds her classes in the town where we see our midwife, which is almost 2 hours away from us. She is willing to meet with us in the city where my husband works, which is just a 30 minute drive for us. AND GET THIS: She loves working with my midwife and for her clients, she only charges $100 !!!!....and that's for the full 8-12 week course (it's really 12 weeks, but she likes to combine a few of the sessions if she can) AND that includes the cost of a $25 book. So, she's only making $75 on the deal.

A friend of mine and her husband just went through 12 weeks of Bradley classes w/ a different instructor and paid A LOT more. Their instructor charges $200, but they had to pay $300 because they couldn't make it to some of the sessions and had to receive a few private classes.

My midwife is familiar with both instructors and assured me that the instructor we're using is the best of the best and, in her opinion, is better in some ways than my friend's instructor. (I certainly won't be sharing that info w/ my friend!)

Here's the BEST part: If DH and I are comfortable with our instructor and feel that we would like her to attend the birth to help DH in his role as my "coach", and also be a sort of Doula, working along side him, she will do it at NO EXTRA CHARGE. She said she doesn't do that for everyone, but for my midwife's clients, she will do practically anything. She explained that this is her hobby and passion. It's not her main source of income, so she doesn't do it for the money.....she just LOVES helping couples become informed about childbirth and is passionate about making the birth atmosphere a positive one for both of the parents.

Of course, I would not feel right about NOT paying her for her presence at the birth. I don't know where the money will come from, but I'd like to give her an extra hundred dollars or two if she does come to the birth....even though I know she's probably worth WAY more than that - many Doulas charge $600 or more!

Here's an encouraging little statistic taken from the Bradley website: "Of over 200,000 Bradley®-trained couples nationwide, over 86% of them have had spontaneous, unmedicated vaginal births."
That makes me feel really good.

Right now, our tenative schedule is to start meeting every Thursday evening around 6 or 6:30 at the beginning of February at a building that just happens to be a few blocks from where DH works. Of course, I will have to check w/ DH to make sure this is okay, but the instructor told me to call if that doesn't work for us and we will figure out a different time.

I'm excited!!!!!!!!

Katherine K., I hope you found an opening in the birthing class of your choice. How's that going for you?

Labels: childbirth classes, labor/birth

A licensed midwife who has an apparent passion for helping women heal after traumatic birth experiences gives a list of some of the horrific things she has heard birth attendants (doctors, nurses, midwives, etc.) say while in the delivery room with the laboring mother. Keep in mind all these things were said DURING the mother's labor, either directly to her or within earshot to other birth attendants in the room. Here are some of the quotes:

• "Quit being such a baby"
• "I want to go home"
• "I am going to talk her into letting me break her water so she will hurry up"
• "I am going to talk her into letting me manually dilate her so she will hurry up."
• "Oops, your water broke!" (while using fingernails or fingers to break it on purpose)
• "Can't you stop moaning?"
• "God, you have terrible veins!"
• "Your baby might bleed to death." (after refusal of Vitamin K injection for the baby)
• "You want your baby to go blind?" (after refusal of erythromycin in baby's eyes)
• "Are you one of those La Leche League people who nurse until the kid dates?"
• "You wanted a homebirth? That's child abuse!"
• "What is wrong with you? Are you trying to hurt your baby?"
• "Just get your epidural."
• "Are you sure you are ready to be a mom?"
• "You might feel a pinch." (as pitocin is injected into the vaginal vault)
• "Why did you wait so long?"
• "Why did you get here so early?"
• "How would you not know if your water broke or not?"
• "These stupid wetback women just scream and scream, I wish they would shut up"
• "If you don't hurry up we will have to do a c-section"
• "Oh no, she has a birth plan"

These horrifying comments came from this blog: Navelgazing Midwife

There are many more, but I figure you get the idea. There are even some that I really don't care to repeat. The "wetback" comment, which particulary disgusts me, was made by the woman's DOCTOR! Granted, these are comments that the blogger claims she has heard with her own two ears in her years of attending births and I can't say for sure how accurate she is being. For the birthing women's sakes, I hope she is exaggerating.....but sadly, I suspect that she is not.

NOTE: I haven't really read much else on this woman's blog and I did notice some curse words and maybe some views that I don't quite agree with, but I appreciate her zeal for helping women overcome their past negative birthing experiences.

Many women over the years have been forced and manipulated into doing things during their labor that they may not have chosen to do if they would've been educated. A lot of women don't reallize that they can stand up for themselves and refuse certain drugs/tests/treatments if they want to.

Just tonight, while visiting with some friends, a woman who is at the end of her 1st trimester of her first pregnancy was telling some women who have already had children that her doctor was wanting to test the baby for Downs Syndrome and some other birth defects during her next appointment. She asked these other women if that would involve just taking some blood or sticking her belly with a needle or something invasive like that.

I thought it was interesting that she had NO IDEA what these tests involved, yet she had already told the doctor "I know my baby is healthy, but if it makes you feel better to take the tests that's fine." She went on to say that there are other tests that are "mandatory" throughout the pregnancy, but that one was just highly recommended and she didn't have to she if she didn't want to.

One of the other women spoke up and said "You need to always remember that it is YOUR body and you can refuse certain things if you want to."

I was glad she said that.



I am learning a lot about birth options and I have to say that I REALLY don't want to give birth in a hospital. I have reallized over the past couple months that I have more of a FEAR of doctors than I have TRUST in them.

The Lord is my source. He is my healer and sustainer. I know that doctors have their place in this world and they have helped many many people......but they are not God.

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. - ISAIAH 53:5

I really have my doubts about vaccinating children, too. I haven't read up on it enough to make an educated decision yet, but I'm really leaning towards NOT vaccinating my child, or at the very least CHOOSING which vaccinations he/she will get and when based on my research. I just don't think anyone should have the right to tell parents that they HAVE to inject things into their children. I recently read an anti-vaccination advertizement that said many vaccinations that are given to infants in the U.S. on a regular basis have so much mercury in them, that it would take a 200 lb person to process the amount healthily. I'll try to find the link to it.

Here are some vaccination information links:

http://www.vaccinationdebate.com/
http://befreetech.com/vaccine_poisons.htm
http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin/vaccine.htm
http://www.vaclib.org/basic/trufax/vacmaste.html

Labels: controversial topics, labor/birth, tough parenting decisions

DH and I have decided that we'd either like to have a homebirth or a birth at a freestanding birth center because well, hospitals are for sick people. DH is the one that originally mentioned the possibility of having a homebirth, which I thought was really cool. I was thinking the same thing myself, but hadn't said anything about it yet.

I know it's really early to be planning the birth. If we get pregnant in August, we won't even have the baby until May, but I'd love to be as prepared as possible. Over the last couple months I have read and researched statistics and personal experiences of homebirth vs. hospital birth, and I can't really see why anyone would choose hospital birth (unless of course, you are deemed "high-risk" and because of a known existing medical condition it is in you and your baby's best interest to birth in a medical setting). A recent study has shown that homebirths among women that are not labeled "high-risk" are just as safe as hospital births. And there's much more evidence than just that one study. It is amazing.

Here is my somewhat unfairly stereotypical portrayal of what I would fear a hospital birth to be:




Women have been giving birth for centuries without the aid of medicine. Suddenly society thinks that it is absolutely necessary to yank the baby's head out of a heavily sedated mother with a pair of sterile tongs.

Labels: controversial topics, labor/birth