I'm up before Scout, and that's a rarity. I should be doing something a little bit more productive than organizing pictures on my computer and blogging. I did empty the bathroom trash when I got up this morning. Good enough.

Scout in a new outfit she got for Christmas:


Posing with her teething buiscuit:


Another new outfit from Christmas (well, they are really jammies, but I turned it into an outfit by adding the sweater and some cute shoes :)


After her bath yesterday:

One of the things I would like to do with my blog in 2008 is to write more about my spiritual journey, a la Wendy's blogging resolution. It's always at the forefront of my mind, but I normally just keep it to myself for some reason.

I'll start now.

2007 was fantastic. DH and became parents to a gorgeous little girl, so obviously, it was a great year. But it was also a year of spiritual laziness for me (and for DH, I presume). It makes me sad when I think that it has been 5 years since DH and I had a major life/heart/soul change, quit our partying ways and stumbled into a church. (not necessarily in that order) It makes me sad because I feel like I should be leaps and bounds ahead of where I am. I am still a selfish bratty baby (ahem, spiritually speaking, of course :) when I should be a selfless woman of God, a rock for my family, always seeking good, always looking for ways to help others, (and most importantly) always talking to and hearing from God the Father. I'm not expecting total perfection from myself, but I know that I am capable of much more than this. I am tired of not living up to my potential.

I am technically a "leader" in our church, since I am on the praise & worship team and used to lead the song service on Wednesday night. I feel like such a poser. I put on a show, because I know others are depending on me. But in reality, I don't even WANT to go to church most of the time. Something that used to be a joy and a passion has become a burden and obligation. Something has to change.

Labels: church, deep thoughts, dreams, general complaining, pics of scout, spirituality

Last night, I had a dream about having the baby...only it was in some strange hospital that I've never been to before and there were old people all over the place...lining the walls, sitting on the floor... the place was really busy and all these senior citizens were waiting for care. (Which didn't make a lick of sense, seeing as how it was the maternity ward!) I had to sit on the floor as well to wait my turn....and I was in labor, about to give birth!

The actual birth part of the dream was very hazy and I can remember thinking "Why are we here? My midwife is going to wonder why I didn't call her." When the baby was born (it was a boy), he was snatched up by one of the nurses and taken to the nursery before I even saw him. But I was weak and halfway dazed....like I was on drugs or something. When they brought him back to us, I was already up and around and we were about to leave the hospital. I tried to nurse him while we were walking down the hallway by sticking him up under my coat and hoping he would latch on correctly. All he did was cry, and I couldn't get him latched on right. When we were outside, I sat down on a bench and took my coat off. I tried to nurse him again. He latched on, but he looked up at me with sort of an evil smirk and bit me HARD! Not only did he bite, but he pulled while he was biting. I then realized that he had a mouth full of teeth and he looked like he was a year old!

We went back into the hospital and told them that we thought they may have given us the wrong baby. I can't remember how the dream ended, but I sort of recall that it was NOT our baby, and we did end up exchanging him for the correct one.

Sheesh! Maybe I'm subconsciously worried about establishing a good nursing relationship or something. I'm not sure what the rest of it could mean (if it even means anything at all)

Labels: dreams