Last night we were hanging out with some childless friends and I was kind of picking up the vibe that one of my friends did not approve of some of my parenting choices. I mean, she wasn't really saying or doing anything too blatant...just some of her expressions made me think that she thinks I'm too much of a softy with Scout. I had attempted to put Scout to bed at 8:30, but it didn't work. I'm sure my friend could hear the screaming and whining and my shushing and singing from the other room, before I gave up and brought Scout back out to play.

My friend: Is it because we're here?
Me: Well, no - not really. Her nose is just so stuffy - she's all snorkly when she lays down and I think she's having a hard time getting comfortable. Also, I think I left the room too fast. She wasn't quite asleep when I tried to sneak out after nursing her, so she saw me and got scared and started screaming.
My friend: {rolling eyes}

Also, when Scout was exploring the room and playing, if she touched something she wasn't really supposed to or headed in a direction where she shouldn't go, my friend would say "no!" really loudly and with authority. She was kind of making a joke out of it - telling me that's how she has to get her kindergarten kids to listen (she's a student teacher) - by annunciating "no" very clearly and signing it at the same time. I guess she thought it was the appropriate thing to do, since she knows we are teaching Scout signs.

I'm just not quite as strict with Scout. Don't get me wrong, I do tell her "no" (seems like I've been having to do that a lot lately) ....but I don't usually raise my voice and if she is not getting into anything dangerous or being purposefully disobedient, I simply redirect her and offer her something else to play with. I try to see the world through her eyes. She is curious and wants to explore. I can't fault her for that. I definitely want to teach her boundaries and make her understand that there are things that she needs to stay away from and refrain from touching for her own good. I don't want to let her do EVERYTHING she wants simply to keep the peace. But I am learning that it is wise to pick my battles.

My friend would seem frustrated with Scout when she was trying to read her a story and Scout would want to grab the book out of her hand or turn the page before she was finished reading a sentence. Also done in a joking manner, but loud and authoritative nonetheless, she would say, "No! I am reading the book. WAIT until I am done." When Scout does the same thing to me, I just turn it into a game and say, "The end!" cheerfully every time she closes the book mid-sentence...and Scout giggles and we have fun.

I don't think my friend realizes that there is a vast difference between kindergarteners and 1-year-olds.

Keep in mind that we are close enough friends that if I felt like she was crossing the line with Scout or if she said something that really bothered me, I wouldn't even hesitate to bring it up. And it would be totally fine and wouldn't ruin our friendship at all because we are very comfortable with eachother.

Her actions didn't necessarily bother me or make me mad....they simply made me realize how much I've had to adjust my thinking since having a child of my own. It made me realize that I've had to eat many, many of the words I said back in my babysitting days.

I used to get irritated with Bob's mom for some of the silliest things and I had a lot of thoughts that began with, "When I have a child he/she will...." or "When I'm a mom, I won't do that, I'll...."

Ha! Man, oh man....have I had to chew up some of those judgmental sentences and gulp them down hard! It is easy for a childless person to say what they would or wouldn't do with their own children. It is easy to want to be strict and merciless with another person's rambuctious toddler when you haven't been the one to nurture and love that child since they were a teeny newborn baby. I may even go so far as to say that I'm not sure I would feel comfortable with anyone who has not had children of their own babysitting Scout on a regular basis. It's not that it bothers me for other people to correct my child....but I would much rather that gentle (but firm) discipline to come from someone who is looking through the eyes of a parent's love. I know if I had it to do all over again, I would've given Bob a lot more hugs and kisses. I would've used his playful curiosity as a tool for learning instead of mainly being annoyed by him getting into everything. I would've been more patient and understanding with both him and his mom. (in my defense, though, I was pregnant, tired, and hormonal, so I'm sure that attributed to my short fuse at least a little bit)

{Sigh} You live and learn, I suppose. Someday, my childless friend will know what it means to be a mother and she will have to munch on a lot of her words as well.

Labels: babysitting, deep thoughts, discipline, friends, griping about people, tough parenting decisions

Today is my last day with Bob. Woohoo! He really is a good kid....I'm just ready to be done. I don't think he's feeling well, so he has slept most of the day, which has given me time to pack up his toys, stroller, sippy cups, etc, and have them ready for when his daddy comes to get him. He did have a little inflatable pool here that his mom brought over last summer, but I'm an idiot and I threw it away. I let it get all nasty and moldy in the yard 'cause I was too lazy to clean it out. One day when DH and I were cleaning out the garage, I just chucked it in the garbage because I didn't want to deal with it. In my defense, we don't have a garden hose, so it would've been a pain in the rear to wash out. Whenever we used it, I filled it up with a bucket. Fun. I feel bad that I let it get ruined, so I told Bob's mom I'd buy a new one.....which stinks, because we really don't have a spare $20-$30 lying around to spend on something like that. Plus, I know full well that if the pool would've been left at Bob's house it would've been allowed to rot and get ruined....and would probably still be outside, along with the other weather-beaten toys in their front yard. I wish I would've just taken good care of it.

Labels: babysitting

(Sigh) I am wide awake, which makes no sense because just a few hours before bedtime, I felt like I got shot in the rear with a tranquilizer dart. I get in bed and suddenly, I feel like I just drank 3 cups of coffee. Pregnancy is strange like that, I guess. I laid in bed for about an hour before I decided to empty my teeny bladder and attempt to make myself tired by staring at the computer screen.

Thursday is my last day of babysitting Bob. I am pretty pleased about that. I have learned a lot from my time as his babysitter.........Mainly, that it sucks to watch someone else's bratty toddler while you're pregnant. LOL :) No, really, he is not bratty. I think watching the most angelic and well-behaved toddler while pregnant would be trying if he/she is not your own. But let's face it, it was better than having to go to a "real" job.

I had a lot of VERY intense Braxton-Hicks contractions today. Not sure why. One got so strong while I was walking our dog this evening that I had to stop mid-stride and wait it out. That's fine with me - it just means my uterus is getting all geared up for the big job ahead. Way to go, uterus! Do your thang!

I may or may not have mentioned in previous posts that I sing and lead the praise & worship service every Wednesday night at our church. I am also sort of the fill-in praise & worship leader on Sundays whenever the regular P&W leader is absent or just asks me to take over. Lately, it's been getting harder and harder for me to breathe when I'm singing.....while I've been asked to lead song service more and more. I've noticed it progressively getting worse over the last month or two and now it is almost unbearable just to get through one song. (Our song services are pretty loud and intense by most people's standards) A couple Sundays ago, I got so winded and overheated that I felt like I was going to pass out. Our sweet baby is officially squishing my lungs. I talked to the P&W leader about it and told him that I could probably no longer sub for him until I return from having the baby. He totally understood. I also e-mailed my Pastor about it to make sure it was alright that there would be no song service on Wednesday nights until I return from having the baby. He was also very understanding and even said that he has noticed I've been struggling to sing lately. I'm glad he said that - it made me feel like less of a whimp. "Oh boo-hoo, I'm too pregnant to sing, please don't make me. Oh, the poor pregnant girl needs sympathy, wah wah".....is how I feared my request would come off. But it didn't, and I'm glad. It'll be nice to have a little break and not get so physically drained every time I go to church.

I think my eyelids are finally heavy enough to attempt sleep one more time. (yawn)....but not before I grab a snack from the kitchen. Dang. We seem to be fresh out of the things I'm craving: pot roast w/ mashed potatoes and gravy and orange creamcicles for dessert. Yum.

Labels: babysitting, pregnancy whining

Sitting here waiting for Bob to get here. I'm going to try to have a better attitude today than the rotten beast of an attitude I had yesterday. If I could take him somewhere or entertain him better, maybe he wouldn't be such a stinker. It's freezing outside and I can't afford to just hop in the car and ride around town, so I guess we're stuck here.

***time elapse***

Okay, he just got dropped off and I'm already having to try and stifle my irritation. On the days his mom drops him off, we have a little routine that we HAVE TO follow in order to avoid a total meltdown as she walks out the door. I must have the t.v. on a kids channel BEFORE he gets here, with some kind of snack and a sippy cup of juice sitting on the table beside the couch. Mommy brings him in, plops him on the couch, hands him his drink and snack (by this time, his eyes have met Thomas the Tank Engine on t.v. and he is completely mesmerized), and then she can successfully sneak out. MOST mornings, Bob doesn't notice that mom left and he'll sit and eat his snack in peace.

This morning, mommy brings him in with a MELTY POPSICLE in his hand and sits him down on the couch and says that she HAD to give him the popcicle because that's the only way he would stop crying after she turned off the Wiggles to put his coat on and get him loaded in the car.

Yes, you HAD to give him the popcicle. He physically twisted your arm and led you to the freezer as you cried uncle and reached for the color/flavor of his choice.

To me, this is a little window into why Bob is the way he is. He gets what he wants ALL the time. Mom will do ANYTHING to prevent him from whining and crying. She has admitted that he cannot ride in a vehicle without a DVD player because to him, car rides = Barney. When she drives her employer's vehicle, (which is DVD-less) He works himself into a frenzy and screams the entire car ride.....that is, unless she brings his little handheld TV thing. He does fuss a little in my DVD-free car sometimes, but for the most part he is fine. I have seen this scenario many times: Bob is content and behaving well enough, even though things may not be going his way......then Mom walks in the room and he has a tantrum. I think he knows how to play mom.

I guess I'm big mean babysitter lady, 'cause as soon as mom left, I attempted to distract Bob by taking his shoes off and handing him a handful of wheat crackers as I pried the melty treat from his cold and sticky little hand. He fussed for about 1 minute and then got interested in the crackers and he was fine after that.

I'm no neat freak, and my furniture is certainly not worth anything, but I think it is rude to drop your 21 month old child off at someone's house at 6:30 am with a melty sticky popsicle in his hand, and set him down on a couch in a room full of carpet, blankets, and pillows. I guess she didn't have a choice, though.
Bob MADE her do it.

Oops. So much for trying to have a better attitude. I'm bad. :)

**ETA** (Yes, DH, I SWEAR that ETA means "edited to add" in the blogging world....even though it means "estimated time of arrival" in the real world)

The weather got all nasty here, so Bob's momma got sent home from work and came and got him at 2:00. Bob and I had been sleeping since about 12:45, and we had a pretty good morning. No complaints. I didn't know that she was coming, so we were both sleeping when she knocked on the door. I wondered if she noticed that I had a small blanket folded in half between Bob and my bed sheet when she got him out of the bed while I grabbed his shoes. I hope she didn't think anything of it. I'm a weirdo and I just don't like dirtying up my clean sheets w/ someone else's toddler germs. Yes, I'm a freak, I know.

Labels: babysitting

....with babysitting Bob right now. The burden of it is comparable to the feeling of getting laid off from your full time job.....only, you still have to work the few scattered days your employer needs you.....and you don't know which days those will be until the last minute. You wish that you could just cut ties completely, but you need the scrapings of a paycheck you earn for the 3 or 4 days you may work in a month.

Okay, that's being overly dramatic. After all, I do get to go to "work" in my pajamas and surf blogs while Bob is occupying himself. Plus, my last day at this "job" is March 15th, so there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. I really don't have anything at all to complain about. Just moody, is all.

He's simply having a cranky day and I don't feel like putting up with him. I don't feel like changing his nasty toddler diapers. I don't feel like hearing him whine and beg for the food I'm eating (ignoring the fact that I just gave him his own food). I don't feel like sharing a nap with his snotty little nose and dirty feet. I'm just having one of those days when other people's children (for no other reason than my own hormones) are getting on my nerves and I'm ready to take care of my own sweet baby full time instead.

Labels: babysitting, pregnancy whining

I guess there's just no pleasing me. When I'm babysitting often, I complain about it. When I'm not babysitting enough, I complain about it. Just smack me.

To justify my wishy-washiness, I equate it with complaining about one's job. There are many things that might irk you about your employer/co-workers/work-load/customers/etc, and you may not hop out of bed every morning, happy and eager to face your work day.......but when it comes down to it, you don't want to take a bunch of unpaid vacations or get fired!

With that said, I do enjoy the days I don't have Bob. I feel like I get a lot more done around the house and I am free to rest my achy pelvis and back and indulge in naps and quiet loafing(obviously things I won't be able to do much of for a LONG time after the baby is born). BUT, I'd rather have Bob here and get paid for watching him 4 days a week because we have come to rely on my babysitting income.

The lady I babysit for IM'ed me yesterday to ask how much she owes me this time around (I get paid monthly). I didn't get the message until late last night, so I called her this morning to let her know. While I was waiting for her to call me back, I started getting more and more irritated at the fact that I have gone from babysitting an average of 15-20 days a month to a measley 4 days this month! It irritates me because she never warned me or talked to me about it; my days have just slowly decreased to this point.

There are a few good reasons why I have let it go for so long without asking her about it: For one thing, there have been weeks in the past where I may not have gotten as many days as I'd like, but then things may pick back up the next week and it would all even out....so I was just thinking, "Hey, maybe they're just trying to save extra money for the holidays and things will get back to normal later." Secondly, on the days I don't babysit him, Bob is either spending time with his grandma or his dad when they have extra days off work. I'm GLAD that he gets to spend time with family, and I'd feel kind of crummy for trying to put a stop to that just because of our finances. Another reason why I didn't think it would be fair to come out and say, "Hey, I need to be guaranteed X number of days from now on", is because I have to request off 1 day a month to visit my midwife (soon to be 2 days a month) and I've also had to request 2 vacations - once when my parents came to visit and stayed for a week, and also for my upcoming week-long trip to see my family next month......so, I didn't think it would be fair to expect a flexible schedule so I can keep my appointments but then expect them to keep their schedule rigid. (I must note, however, that I have never "called in sick" or given her short notice when I have to take a day off. She always knows about my appointments 4 weeks ahead of time, and about my vacations even further in advance)

I never felt the need to set ground rules at the beginning when it came to having a minimum amount of days I would need to babysit because we weren't planning on having to rely heavily on my income at that point. (Since then DH has gone to a job where he has taken a large pay cut) Also, I was told that I'd be watching him 3-4 days a week and it was never mentioned to me that it would end up fluctuating according to grandma's work schedule.

She knows that DH and I rely on my babysitting money because back when she was asking me how long I would be able to keep babysitting before our baby is born, she offered to have my replacement start watching him in January so that I can have plenty of rest and time to get ready for the baby's arrival. I thanked her for thinking about my needs like that and told her that I appreciated the offer, but that I do rely on my babysitting income and would like to babysit until the middle/end of March. So she definitely KNOWS that this is my job and that I need it.

When I just spoke to her, I let her know how much she owed me this pay period and then I reluctantly brought up the issue of my decreased babysitting hours. I told her that I hesitated to ask her about it because I didn't want to come off as being greedy or not wanting Bob to spend time with his family, but that I was just wondering if the frequency of my babysitting days would continue like this in the future and I was just wanting to know so DH and I could plan our budget accordingly. She replied, "Yeah, probably so, because my mom has been requesting days off work here and there during the week so she can spend time with the baby".

Nice to know.

I have learned an important lesson from all of this. Babysitting for friends is like doing business with friends. It's probably not the best idea because you just end up disappointing eachother in ways that you otherwise would not have. Maybe it wouldn't be like that with everybody...maybe there are people who would be a little more organized and consistent. Atleast now I know that if I do start babysitting again, I will need to set some ground rules up front and sick to them so there is no miscommunication.

BUT THEN....none of this would really be a huge issue to me if I didn't feel so pressed for money and an underlying guilt that I do not bring anything to our household, financially speaking.

Labels: babysitting, finances, general complaining, griping about people

Just got back to my house after picking up Bob. As I may have mentioned before, I get paid a little extra on the days I go to their house and pick him up. They are a 5 person family trying to make it on 1 vehicle, and sometimes their schedules don't work out to where they can get him over here.

Anyway, I just had to share this with someone....because if I share it with anyone in real life, it would be gossiping since most of my friends know this person:

As Bob's mom was buckling him into his carseat, she bit off a little piece of the HARD CANDY she was eating and gave it to him. I was thinking to myself, "Did I really just see that?? No....surely it was not hard candy." But then I glanced at her hand as she crinkled the wrapper and put it in her pocket. Yes, it was, in fact a little shard of hard candy....maybe a peppermint of some sort.

Please, moms, tell me that I have not become my mother (paranoid about the safety of my children to the point of total lunacy) and that I am normal for thinking it is unsafe to give a 16-month-old a piece of hard candy as he is about to ride off in the back seat of someone else's vehicle! Ummmm......excuse me, but in case you hadn't thought about it, I will be driving and not able to supervise your baby while he sucks on a little hunk of hard candy!!! What are you thinking? Sure, it was a little piece, but not negligibly small. I waited until she had walked back in the house and tried to take it away from him....and while I probably should have, I did not fight with him very long. I gave up and thought to myself, "If she thinks it's fine, then I'm not going to sweat it. It's her child."

But throughout our little 7 minute drive, I could hear him sucking on the piece of candy in the back seat. I had my visor mirror pointed at him and I found myself glancing up every 2 seconds to make sure he wasn't choking. At one point, he made a little coughing sound and I just about pulled over...but I looked back, and he seemed fine. He survived the ride, but I ended up wishing I just would've endured the tantrum that would have surely ensued by prying his jaws open and taking the candy away, rather than fearing he would choke to death while I was driving down the road.

Note to self: Bob's mom is NEVER going to babysit my child.

Labels: babysitting, general complaining, griping about people

I am in the process of overcoming what I think may be a urinary tract infection. Ick. Apparently, pregnant ladies are especially prone to these infections because the ureters that lead from the kidneys to the bladder stretch out and get a little "wavy". The wavy ureters provide the perfect place for harmful bacteria to settle, and that's one reason it is so important to drink a ton of water and keep oneself adequately flushed out. It's amazing how the human body works. The ureters get elongated because everything in a pregnant woman's abdomen is getting stretchy and limber to make more room and also to prepare for birth. At least, that's what my midwife told me.

Here's a pic of how your ureters NORMALLY look:



Now imagine that the ureters are wound like old, loose spiral telephone cords. No, not really....but you get the idea.

So, I've been downing water like crazy and also drinking plain unsweetened 100% cranberry juice by the quart. If you've never tried PLAIN cranberry juice w/ no sweeteners or other juices added, whoa! It is SOUR! I'm actually beginning to like it, though. I called my midwife this morning to find out if she could recommend anything else, and she said to add a lot more vitamin C to my diet. So that's what I'll do. I don't want to resort to antibiotics so I just want to get rid of this junk NOW.

Bob has a very congested sounding cough and snot pouring out of his nose continuously. Of course, I feel bad for the little guy....but I'm also selfish and don't want his little mucous-y munchkin face anywhere near me. I know I'm not going to be grossed out by my own child's bodily fluids....so I'm not sure why other people's snotty kids bother me so much. He is currently running around the house making strange gurgling sound effects in addition to his normal cute jibber-jabber, all while blowing snot bubbles from his nose. Ughhh....yuk. It sends shivers down my spine. And then if I don't get to him with a warm wash cloth fast enough, he'll rub the snot all over his face with his hands and then touch everything in sight. The fact that he takes a nap in my bed everyday also....(gag!)....excuse me while I go burn my sheets.

Labels: babysitting, pregnancy whining

I can't think of anything to write about....hhhmmmm.

My mom sent me some maternity jeans that she bought from eBay, but they are too small. Poo! They are XL....and too small....and I'm only 13 weeks pregnant. What a huge rear I must have! hee hee :) Really, I think it must be the brand ("Babyology")because Old Navy XL maternity stuff is pretty big on me. But, I have a plan. I think I'm going to sew some patches of interesting fabrics together, rip out the side seams of the jeans and insert the strips of patches to make the jeans wider and more comfy. I've done that before with another pair of jeans and it worked out fairly well. OR.....I could leave them alone and try to get thin enough to fit into them AFTER the baby is born. :) Hhmmph.

Not much else going on here. I'm in our Christmas choir at church and we start practicing tonight. I've loved being in choir since I was in the 5th grade, so it should be pretty fun.

Oh yes, and I think I'm going to start referring to the little boy I babysit as "Bob"....just because it's much easier than typing out "the little boy I babysit" every time. I'd really like to sew today while I'm babysitting, but my sewing area is in a room that is not very toddler friendly. Basically, I use that room (what will be the baby's room) as a storage area for everything that Bob should not be playing with....my guitar, stacks of fabric and other sewing stuff, etc. I guess sewing's out of the question today, since I don't feel like dragging my sewing machine and table into the livingroom....and even then, I think it may spark Bob's curiosity too much and he would just want to touch and pull on whatever I'm sewing. Obviously, many mommas sew and do crafty projects while having their small children around, so there must be a way to do it....but Bob is very rambunctious and I don't think I would have the patience to sew while trying to teach him not to touch things. I should probably try it anyway....he may surprise me.

Labels: babysitting, clothes, pregnancy

I've decided that anything I say about babysitting from now on is going to be POSITIVE. Seriously. I know that blogs are great for venting.....especially when you know that none of your friends and family are reading it....but I also know that the Word of God says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. (somewhere in James, maybe?) AND Proverbs 29:11 says that "A fool vents all of his feelings, but a wise man holds them back".

Me complaining about babysitting just makes the situation worse. Honestly, I should just relax and talk myself into enjoying it. I am blessed to have this extra income and also to be gaining some experience with a small child. I've turned a blessing into a curse with my bad attitude and whining. Time to change that.

Don't you just love it when a sermon convicts your heart and makes you feel like an egg-sucking dog?

Does this mean that I won't be posting about ridiculous uninvited parenting advice that my mother-in-law shares with me? Nope, probably not. Because the things she says sometimes are just silly and don't really make me mad as much as it gives me a good laugh....even though I will be sharing it in a seemingly mean-spirited tongue-in-cheek sort of way. Hope no one does a sermon on that anytime soon. ;)

I got my hair cut SHORT yesterday. I want to get rid of the black hair dye and go back to my natural color (light brownish), but do not want to use any chemicals to do so. This way, in just 3 or 4 more hair cuts, all the black will probably be gone...and honestly, I like having my hair short. I'm about to go to bed because it's late, so my eyes are all puffy and red in the pic. Nice. My husband said he really likes my haircut, too. And I know that's the truth because we are usually unabashedly honest when it comes to voicing our opinions to eachother about hair-do's and clothing and whatnot. He knows that I'm not too down with his 'fro (yes, white boy had his hair permed into an afro twice)......although it wasn't really that bad, just not my favorite. And I know that he doesn't like it when I have long or medium length hair with super-duper short bangs. I dunno, I'm a nerd, and I like having 50's short jaggedy bangs. With my nice new boy-cut, I can have them and they're not really considered bangs, I guess.

Labels: babysitting, hair, spirituality

I think I really sounded like a heartless ogre in my last post, but it was mostly just written out of heat-of-the-moment frustration, and probably isn't an accurate reflection of how I feel most of the time. I made it sound like there is something wrong with letting your child sleep with you at all times and breastfeeding on demand on an extended basis. That is certainly not how I wanted it to sound.

I am totally FOR those things. I'm glad that this child is benefitting from that close and loving style of parenting. BUT from the selfish perspective of the person who has the child 4 days a week from 7am to 5pm, golly, it makes my job so hard. The thing is, I plan on breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering, and co-sleeping with my little one, so I can't be upset with someone that has chosen some of those things for their own child. I just think that full-time babysitters of "attached" children have it kind of rough.....it seems an unnatural thing to mix attachment parenting with 2 parents that work full time, and I'm feeling the brunt of that right now......but it's what I've chosen to do, and I get paid for it, so I guess I have no right to gripe. Danielle had some good advice and said that I just need to think of how I would want my child to be treated if I had to go to work and do the best I can to love and enjoy spending time with him. That is certainly something that I need to make an effort to do, because right now, I am getting a little burnt out.

I've already started getting advice from my MIL that I should transfer my baby from the bassinet in our room (and I'm sure she doesn't know it's a co-sleeper bassinet either) to his/her own crib in the nursery at 2 weeks old! Are you stinking kidding me? No way. I know that my mom has a similar philosophy, but not quite as harsh. My MIL also thinks that breastfeeding past a year is extreme and is a bad idea. I completely disagree with that as well. I am a proponent of certain aspects of attachment parenting, although my last post didn't really reflect that.

**ETA**
Oh yes, and I must add this: It is sort of sad to say, but if I start babysitting again sometime after our own child is born, I will probably choose to watch children who have been raised like my sister's children. My 16 month old nephew tugs at my sister's pant leg and points to the stairs when it's nap time because he is used to being taken upstairs to his crib and laid down to nap by himself at about the same time every day. He lays down and goes right to sleep without a fuss. All her children were bottle-fed and were cared for by their dad and grandma quite a bit while mommy was at work. They didn't throw a huge fit during feeding time or nap time when my mom was babysitting them because they were used to having someone other than mommy taking care of them some of the time. This is NOT exactly how I want to raise my own children, but I admit that these ARE the type of children that I would LOVE to babysit.

Labels: baby sleep, babysitting, general complaining

The best part of my week is Thursday evening, when the little boy I watch gets picked up. It means 3 whole days without him. I know, I'm awful.

I made a comment joking around about how I was glad when his momma came and picked him up today when I was IM'ing my MIL. She joked back, "Just think, unless you can find someone to pick your child up every weekend, yours won't 'go home'!"

I just know in my heart that I won't feel this way with my own. Most of my frustration seems to stem from how I feel about some of his mom and dad's parenting choices, not the child himself. I think it must be really confusing for a child to be able to nurse on demand all the time and then while mommy's at work, suddenly there's no nursing. Three full days pass in between mommy's work weeks, so I wonder if every Monday is just as stressful for him as the last. (I'm not sure how their memories work at 15 months) It must be frustrating for him when he is used to sleeping with mommy every night and for every nap from Friday to Sunday and then at my house, there are just times when I can't lay down with him.....so it inevitably cuts the nap short and he gets way cranky. This next one is rude, but I'm just going to say it: It must be confusing for him when, at home he can walk around the house, smear food on furniture, touch things and climb on things that are dangerous, and destroy just about anything he wants because frankly, their house is a sty......But here, I'm a little more conscious of how he treats the furniture and objects that are not for kids to play with and I'm not afraid to sternly tell him "no". I am no "neat freak" by any sense of the word, but I don't think it's too early to teach him how to respect things and know what is okay to touch and not okay to touch.

I'm not saying that I am against extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping. I'm saying that I think in an ideal situation, a woman who practices an attached style of parenting like that would benefit herself AND her child by STAYING HOME FROM WORK. I am speaking selfishly, from the babysitter's perspective, here. It's like having one foot in today's fast pace, both-parents-working type society and then the other foot in the realm of child-is-at-mommy's-breast-all-day.

Can the two mix? Just from my experience with babysitting this little one, no they can't. Or they can, but the babysitter will have nervous breakdown and the child will suffer from some serious attachment anxiety.

I'm sure most of this post is just coming from the fact that he had a rough day today and my nerves are a little frazzled. I bet I'll come back and read it and think I'm being unreasonable.

***ETA***
Oh, BTW, I am spoiled and do have the opportunity to stay home with my child, so it was probably unfair to say some of the things that I said. I know that all women can't stay home (and then there are some that WON'T, but that's another issue in of itself), but I guess it is my opinion that if you know you are going to work and leave your child with a sitter, you might want to adapt your parenting style accordingly. Peace.

Labels: babysitting, general complaining

about babysitting. Okay, I know this blog has turned into my very own little therapeutic gripe session about babysitting lately, but it's gotta come out some time......and what better place than an anonymous online journal?

This morning the lady I babysit for brought the kiddo to my door SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. She said he was upset because she "had to hold him down while in the car because (her husband) left both carseats in the van, which he has at work right now". I'm not sure if she meant that she held him in her lap, or if he was buckled into the front seat and she had to physically force him to sit down and not squirm. My guess is the latter. Uuughh.

This is just what I wanted to deal with while feeling nauseated and exhausted....a child screaming so hard that he could barely catch his breath, and the prospect of being trapped at my house because I have no carseat. Well, I really didn't have plans to go anywhere anyway, but if I did, I'd be outta luck.....or I'd hafta pull a Britney Spears and hold the kid on my lap, which I'm not about to do.

I called the momma's cell shortly after she left to see if she would call her hubby and find out if he could swing by my house and drop the carseat off when his shift is over @ about 8:00 or 8:30 this morning, but it went straight to her voicemail...twice. If I had just dropped my inconsolable child off at the sitter's with no carseat, I'd probably make sure I had my cell-phone on, but that's just me.

I did sort of get a hold of her just now, by instant-messaging one of her co-workers who carpools to work w/ her and is also one of our friends, and asking if she'd relay the message. She said that momma was already planning on calling the hubby to gripe him out and have him bring me a carseat.

So, looks like I really have no reason to complain after all. I'll be getting a carseat within the next hour or so and little man stopped screaming as soon as I let him look inside the freezer and take out a bag of frozen broccoli to play with for a little bit.

This isn't the first time that the carseat was left in another vehicle, but the 2 times it has happened before, momma just brought their "back-up" carseat.....which is is a newborn infant carseat. His legs and head hang off of either side and the belt is too tight for him on the biggest possible setting. I'm sure it wouldn't be the safest seat if we were in an accident....so both days I was stuck with that seat, I opted not to go anywhere.

I know it doesn't seem it (with all of this negative stuff I have to say), but I'm actually great friends with this momma and her husband. They are really fun and kind people....they're just pretty disorganized and that can get irritating when you're in charge of their child.

Labels: babysitting

The lady I babysit for IM'ed me earlier and asked if I thought I'd keep babysitting after our baby is born. Originally, we discussed me taking a few months off and then watching her little boy again in the Fall, because she thought her niece might be able to watch him through the Summer until school starts. I just really want that special one-on-one time with our new little one. The thought of having someone else's needy toddler around while I'm adjusting to taking care of our newborn makes me shudder. I don't know if I'll even be up to watching the little boy again after taking a 3 month break....since I've never had a baby before and don't know exactly what to expect, it's tough to give her a "yes" or "no" answer right now. I told her that I plan on taking a 3-4 month break, like we had discussed, and then start watching her boy again in the Fall, but that I'm not even sure how I'll feel at that time. I guess her niece isn't going to be able to watch him, and she has nobody else in mind at this point, but she understands that I'll need a break.

What if I feel like I just can't handle a toddler at that point? By then he'll be 2 years and 3 months old, and our baby will be 3-4 months old. I know that moms around the world handle the combination of toddlers & small babies all the time. When you have more than one and there's not a huge age gap, it's just something you have to do. But there's no doubt in my mind that it's different when both children are your own. I can totally see myself being a little territorial, and that just wouldn't be very fair to the toddler.

We need the extra money, so a supplemental income while I'm staying at home is a must. But at this moment, I'm not sure if babysitting a small child will be feasable. Maybe I'll change my mind when the time comes, though.

Labels: babysitting

Well, the little guy I babysit finally got his first hair cut! It looks so adorable. I had to try to hide my excitement when his momma brought him over this morning because I think she's kind of sad that his long hair is gone. Honestly, I can't see why. Okay, he did have really pretty curls, but all day I've noticed how much easier it is to take care of him. I know it sounds strange that hair could make so much of a difference, but it really does. No more having to make him angry when I brush it and pull it up......and when we went to the grocery store today, I felt that everyone around me knew he was a boy. He just looks cleaner and nicer. To me, the long matted mess was detracting from his gorgeous little face....but now he looks so adorable! I guess I've pretty much decided that I like long hair on guys, but not on baby boys....it's too difficult to tell the difference between boys and girls when their that young, especially when the baby boy has a pretty face and long eyelashes.

Symptoms update: Feelin' puky pretty much all the time (except for shortly after I eat) and I've also had times when I've been a bit lightheaded. It seems the pukiness has died down a little and it's about 4:00 in the afternoon. I was really constipated until about 6am when I suddenly had a stomach ache and needed to use the bathroom stat!....but, man-o-man, I had to work hard for it. I bought some prune juice while at the store in my desperate quest to end the constipation, but then I suddenly had diarrhea when we got home. Uuugh. I give up. My bowels are rebelling against me. I thought it would be difficult to watch the little boy today, while feeling so ill, but it hasn't been so bad. He's been very good the whole time. He was an angel in the grocery store, which was nice, since it took me like 3 hours to get my shopping done. Guess I was just moving slow and kept backtracking to find things I forgot that were several aisles over. All of this sounds pretty normal for being at 7 weeks from my LMP.

I am determined to eat very good nutritious food for the baby. I even ate a huge spinach salad w/ sprouts, red pepper, olive oil, and lemon juice earlier when I was really didn't want to because I knew I needed some good green veggies in my system. After the appointment w/ the midwife, I was really inspired. She made mention of how every single thing that is being used to build the baby's body is coming from ME. I already knew that, but it was good for me to hear the importance of putting good things into my body because the baby's nutrients come only from my nutrients. Kind of like a seed that's planted in the ground. It's amazing to think that the flesh of a ripe juicy tomato is only made up of the nutrients in the soil - that's it.

Labels: babysitting, food, health, pregnancy, pregnancy whining

Still organizing the records....well, sort of. Yesterday, I was fully out of commission due to a really bad headache. It started coming on early yesterday afternoon, but I sort of just ignored it.....until it got so bad that my eyes were extremely sensitive to light, I coudn't stand any sound accept for the soothing fan in our bedroom, and I couldn't even drag myself to the kitchen to fix something to eat. I slept from the time the boy I babysit left @ 5 PM until 11:45 PM. I got up to use the bathroom, got a drink of water, and went right back to bed because my head was still pounding. Slept peacefully until I had to wake up this morning at 6:30 to babysit again. My head feels totally fine now. I don't know what brought it on. Strange.

This morning on my way home from picking the little munchkin up (his parents are having vehicle issues and are paying me $5 extra a day to come pick him up. Woohoo!), I stopped at the grocery store to grab some bottled water and bread. I had been thinking about watermelon for 2 days, so my ulterior motive was really to see if they had any watermelon. And they did! I bought the hugest one I could find and the boy and I stood in the kitchen as soon as I got home and ate 1/4 of it all by ourselves. Well, it was mostly me. It seems like the best watermelon I have ever tasted. Yum! While we were at the store, the cashier thought the boy was a girl. That has happened to me a few times while out in public with him and I never correct the stranger. I just don't feel like making someone uncomfortable and embarrassed. Honestly, I would confuse him for a girl at first glance too, because his hair is so long. It's almost always in a ponytail or bun - otherwise, it would be too unruly. Every time I have to comb it or put it up, he screams. I always say, "Don't yell at me, it's your parents' fault." But he doesn't understand, of course. I was also a little embarrassed in the store with him because his outfit was pretty stained up and his hair looked like he had slept in his ponytail and therefore had that lovely rat's nest look to it. Gggrrr. I feel like telling everyone we see, "Oh, 'she' isn't mine -I just baby sit 'her' and I didn't dress 'her' this way, I swear." I'm all about kids being allowed to get dirty and explore, but I was just raised with the idea that kids should get their mouths wiped and get a clean shirt on when it's time to go out in public. Maybe I'm a snob like that. I shouldn't even complain - I certainly didn't look neat when we went shopping this morning....I was in a baseball hat and flannel pajama pants. Doh! But nothing was stained and my face was clean, does that count as looking presentable?

Our first appointment with the midwife is tomorrow. I can't wait!

Labels: babysitting, general complaining

The little one-year-old I babysit must have a habit of swallowing things he shouldn't when he is at home because in the last 2 days I have found 2 foreign objects in his poopy diapers. Aside from the normal peas, corn, etc, that seem to stay whole all through his digestive tract, I found a WATCH BATTERY yesterday and some HEART-SHAPED CONFETTI in his poo today. Funny? Yes. But a little ummmm....concerning too? Absolutely. I know of parents who tell similar stories of pennies and other coins making that incredible journey down to their kids' poop-chutes, so I know things like that are going to happen sometimes. But you've gotta wonder: How good is it on the little dude's colon to have a scratchy piece of heart-shaped foil confetti pass through?

I told his momma about the watch battery yesterday and we both had a good laugh. I told her that it could've just gotten stuck to his bum or something during his last diaper change. When I found it, it was his 1st dipe change at my house, so maybe when mom or dad was changing him on a couch or the car seat, that teeny stray battery could've just clung to his skin. But then when I found the confetti in the 3rd diaper I had changed today, I knew that he had pooped it. It wasn't there when I changed him the 1st 2 times - I'm sure I would've noticed a bright red shiny heart. I IM'ed his momma to let her know.....not to make her feel guilty or anything, but just because I thought she should know that he ingested something like that. I think she got a little defensive, although, sometimes emotions are hard to read when you're IM'ing.


ME: I found somethin else in babe's diaper today - some little heart shaped confetti.....I know he pooped it because it wasn't there when I changed his dipe earlier. :)

MOMMA: lol. he was playing with bro & confetti its all over my carpet cant get it up...i bet is was just stuck to his behind...

MOMMA: really

MOMMA: i am not a bad mom

I went on to say that I totally don't think she's a bad mom, but I was just thinking that there's a chance he may have swallowed it, since I didn't see it until the 3rd dipe change. But then she just said it was probably stuck in his clothes. Which, I suppose is possible, but I doubt because I had taken his shorts completely off at one point. Eh, what do I know about parenting, anyway? :)

Labels: babysitting

I just got back from a walk with the world's worst stroller. I'd like to tell you exactly what kind of stroller it is so that you may steer clear of it (corny pun intended), but it has no brand name or markings. There is a tag on the back that says it was manufactured for Wal-Mart in March 2005 and its model # is 002653457/BP-1519. It looks suspiciously similar to the Graco LiteRider Stroller. In fact, the more I look at it, the more it looks like the exact same design. Beware.

It belongs to the little boy I babysit. His parents brought it over so we could go for walks. Some friends of theirs found it at a thrift store and thought they might want a back-up stroller. While I appreciate the thought, the stroller itself just isn't functional for how I use it. I don't think I'm abnormally tall, at 5'6", but the handle bar sits uncomfortably low and is not at all adjustable. The wheels don't have a great turning radius, although I suspect that has more to do with the fact that it was not very well taken care of and there is probably dirt and grime in the joints where the wheels should swivel freely. I sprayed the joints with the last of my WD40, which did help some, but not enough to make the wheels move like they should.

AND, as I stroll along with my shoulders hunched over (hoping not to encounter any sharp corners along the way), I have to make a conscious effort not to smack my toe into the thin metal back axl with every stride. Actually, this only seems to be a problem if I break out into more than a snail's pace. Part of the reason I like taking walks with the little man is so I can get some much-needed exercise. It's difficult to walk briskly when I have to pay attention to the length of my stride. I know I sound like a Negative Nelly, but seriously, whoever designed this stroller was 5'1" with stumpy legs and assumed that only people of the same stature would be purchasing it.

I know with my track record of buying baby items way too early, one would think I'd have stored up a stroller of my own, but I haven't. I'd like to invest in a better stroller for the boy and I to use when he comes over, but I really don't have the extra money. I'd also like to buy him some blocks, finger paints, a small ride-on toy of sorts, and a high chair. I suppose I could justify it if I bought them with the idea that my own child will use them some day, but I'd like my baby to have things of his/her own. I'm certainly not opposed to hand-me-downs, but I can imagine that I'd be overly protective of the highchair and toys if I knew they were going to be used by my own son or daughter some day. "Hey, you little booger, stop rubbing your grubby sticky hands all over Mystery Baby's stuff!!!" Hhhmm.....guess I'll just make do with what we have right now. We do have a laundry basket full of toys for him that his parents brought over, but I think he's getting bored with them.

Labels: baby gear, babysitting, product reviews

Even though I was reluctant yesterday to put one of the all-in-one cloth diapers I'm saving for my own baby on the little boy I babysit, I ended up doing it anyway. We had plenty of disposables, so it wasn't out of necessity, but I was just really curious to see how they hold up in real life. In theory, they should work fine, but I'm not that confident in my ability to make absorbant leak-proof diapers yet. I purchased the pattern from Darling Diapers, and I have read great reviews about their patterns, so I shouldn't have had any doubts.

I put the diaper on him at about 2:00 or 2:30 yesterday afternoon and changed him back into his disposables @ about 4:00 before his daddy came and picked him up. I was relieved (and actually a little surprised) that it didn't leak at all. He even laid on his side while taking a nap for a while, and there were no signs of leakage. He didn't poop, so there's where the test ended. Maybe I'll put one on him during his early nap next time so there's more opportunity for poopiness.

The next test was with the dryer. I was afraid that it would take forever to dry since it was one of the true all-in-ones w/ the absorbant soaker layer sewn inside. I washed it with a regular load of laundry with just a tiny bit of detergent, since too much detergent can cause build-up on the fibers and affect its ability to absorb properly. If it would've been poopy, I would've washed it by itself or with some towels after running it through the rinse/soak cold water cycle once, since I don't have other dirty diapers to wash with it. It took 2 dryer cycles to get completely dry, which isn't too bad, I guess. I'm glad I made most of the diapers w/ a separate lay-in soaker layer. Also, you are never supposed to use dryer sheets or fabric softener with cloth diapers for the same reason you don't want to use too much detergent: filmy insoluable residue can make them repel liquid instead of absorbing. They will also begin to hold odors if there is a lot of build-up. Nobody wants a clean diaper to smell like pee and crap!

As you can see from the photo, the diaper was just BARELY big enough for his cute little chunky bum. He weighs about 30 lbs and I think this size small diaper is meant for 10-25 pounders. I made sure the elastic around his thighs wasn't too tight and fastened the velcro on the largest possible setting. It's good to know that in a pinch, I could use the size small on a chubby 30 lb baby.

Labels: babysitting, cloth diapering, sewing

I am on day 23 of my current cycle. My "visitor" is due in 9 days, on August 10th. I don't much like this waiting game and hope that we are either pregnant right now or we will be within the next couple cycles. It's so easy to trick myself into thinking I have early pregnancy signs. I'm probably just extremely aware of every little thing my body does. If my stomach gurgles or my breasts are tender, I notice it. If I pee twice during the night instead of once, I notice it. If I'm extremely emotional...ahem, see my last post...I notice it and count it as a signal that I may be preggy. Reading things like the "Early Pregnancy Symptoms" on Two Week Wait helps my mind play tricks on me. Some of the common symptoms listed that (I think) I have experienced are:

strong smelling urine

"pinchy" feeling not-quite menstrual cramps

"prickly" feeling in nipples

nausea

I'm sure that I'm just being crazy and it's probably way too early to experience pregnancy symptoms anyway. All those things may happen to my body around this time every month, but I've never had a reason to pay attention. I'll be glad when August 10th comes and goes with no sign of "Aunt Flow" and I start feeling really puky.

My mom said she had a dream that someone handed her a naked newborn little boy. She says that she dreams the sex of the unborn babies in our family all the time. If I remember correctly, she has been pretty right on with most of the babies she's dreamed about. But I'm really not putting too much stock in that. I'd be ecstatic with either a boy OR a girl. I want it to be a surprise, but I can imagine that it will be very difficult to not break down and want to know when I'm far enough along to find out. DH and I are the kind of people that give eachother our Christmas presents a week before Christmas. I know, it's awful.

When my friend dropped off the little guy I babysit this morning, I thought I had no diapers. That woudn't normally be a problem, but DH took my car to work because it is more comfortable than his truck and he's got a pinched nerve in his shoulder. His truck is here, but I'm a silly timid idiot and don't know how to drive a standard shift vehicle. For a moment, I thought I would have to take a crack at using cloth diapers for the first time and it kind of scared me! Well, I'm not sure that the sizes I have made and bought would fit this chunky 30 lb baby anyway, but even if they did.....I'm ashamed to say that I might be too selfish to let another baby poop in the diapers that I've carefully collected for my own baby. Just as I was about to get dressed, put the baby in the stroller, and walk to the grocery store to buy some disposables, I noticed the tied-up Wal-mart sack in the foyer next to his carseat with a week's work of diapers inside. Whew! Good thing, because I had just realized that baby's stroller is in the trunk of my car. Looks like I can save my pristinely clean and new cloth diapers for my own little one to have explosive diarrhea in.

Labels: babysitting, cloth diapering, ttc

The little 1 yr old squirt I babysit accompanied me to Aldi today. For those of you who are not familiar w/ the awesomeness that is Aldi, it's an uber cheap grocery store. This was our very first outing, aside from stroller walks and playing outside in his inflatable kiddie pool. He was BEYOND cranky this morning, and I was a little afraid of what kind of scene he might make while in the crowded aisles of a grocery store, but I decided it was worth the risk since all we had left in our cupboards was some gopher jerky and cream of toast. That was for you, Simpsons fans.

He slept most of the way there. I thought I'd get lucky enough for him to sleep while we were shopping, but he woke up as soon as I took him out of the car. In addition to my fear of him throwing a wild tantrum, I have to admit that I'm a little embarrassed of his hair. He has beautiful LONG curly brown hair that both his momma and I keep pulled up in a neat ponytail the majority of the time. If we didn't it would quickly turn into a tangly rat's nest full of dog hair, applesauce, and graham cracker crumbs. Because of his lovely locks, long eyelashes, and cute chubby cheeks, I'm pretty sure people tend to think he's a girl. I hate to say it, but I can totally see myself letting strangers comment on what a cute "girl" he is without bothering to correct them, just to spare them the embarrassment.....well, and so they don't think I'm a really mean "mom" for making my little boy look like a girl.

I understand why his momma doesn't want to cut his hair. It is really pretty. Plus, one of his older teenage brothers has long hair, so the fact that they match is pretty darling. But I wish she would just break down and cut it anyway. Not necessarily to make interaction with doting strangers more comfortable for me, but just so I don't have to deal with trying to comb out the tangles and contain it in a ponytail all while he is screaming at the top of his lungs, fighting me tooth and nail.

During our little trip, he REFUSED to sit in the cart and I had to carry him on my hip the whole time. I actually didn't mind that much - I think my arm muscles are getting pretty buff. I just wish that when I do need to sit him down for any reason he wouldn't throw such a fit. He is spoiled rotten. I definitely need to make a sling for us FAST. His momma brought me a Snuggli carrier, but it is way uncomfortable on my back and I don't think they are very ergonomically healthy for baby. All baby's weight ends up on his spine, since he is essentially just suspended by a tiny strip of fabric under his crotch. The one I have doesn't even seem to have this much padding and support:



My husband is at a job interview as we speak. He informed me that our plans to get pregnant in a few months should still be on track financially. That made me very happy. Even though I'm having a rough time with the cranky teething little booger I watch right now, I still can't wait to have one of my own.

Before I started frequenting some of these crunchy baby-hippie forums, I had never heard of TEETHING NECKLACES. Apparently, amber has natural healing properties that can ease the pain of teething simply by placing it around baby's neck. Am I going crazy? This actually seems like a good idea to me.


I am becoming the antithesis of everything my mother believes. "Give him Baby Tylenol", says mom. "Put him down and let him cry. It'll be good for him", says mom. It's a good thing I live so far away from my mom. No doubt, she would think I'm nuts for hanging an amber necklace around Junior's neck to make his pain go away. I haven't told her yet that we are not planning on vaccinating our kids. Yikes.

Labels: babysitting, general complaining

Whew. Just mowed our huge yard w/ a pushmower. I would love to just get pizza instead of making dinner because I am worn out. I know I must be ready to have a baby because every mundane everyday task, every t.v. show, everything in my house brings the fact that we'll (hopefully) be parents within a year to my mind.

While I was mowing, I thought about how I would go about doing it when I have a small infant. I imagined myself with a little baby riding on my back in a sling or carrier of sorts while I do the yardwork, cook dinner on the grill, and take a walk to the post office.



I have a pattern to make a sling like this one:



Seems like it would be very handy indeed.
Something like this would be very useful, but it's a little pricey at 90-something dollars or so:


The Ergo Baby Carrier

Everything I do on a daily basis will change forever, and I'm ready for that.

I just started babysitting a 1 year old little boy last week. He is challenging yet so precious and loving. The challenging part is that he constantly wants to be held and he is HEAVY. I probably need to go ahead and make that sling so I can tote him around the house with me. He screamed incessantly this afternoon....even when I would hold him. His momma still breastfeeds him, so I know that's what he was wanting. Sorry, bud...can't help you out there. Poor little guy. I know he was just exhausted.

I'm under the impression that his momma hold him all the time and doesn't let him cry. Which, I'm not saying there is or isn't anything wrong with that, but without momma's boob to comfort him he can be pretty hard to deal with.

I have mixed feelings about letting a child "cry it out"....meaning, to let the child cry him/herself to sleep in a room by themselves rather than picking them up and rocking and comforting them. Many childcare experts from the 50's until the present have been proponents of this philosophy. But there are others, called "Attachment Parents" that believe it is never okay to let a baby "cry it out". These parents adopt the use of a sling or carrier and constantly hold their infants. I'm very confused about which would be better, but I suppose it would just depend on the child.

Today I let the little guy cry in his playpen for a little while because he was impossible to soothe. I tried everything and I knew that he just needed a nap. I felt so horrible after hearing him scream and cry for about 5-10 minutes, I broke down and held him. It felt strange and wrong to let him scream.

Labels: babysitting, babywearing, controversial topics