DH and I scored free tickets to a local music festival at the last minute on Saturday and decided to go and take Scout with us. (Couldn't pass up an opportunity to see one of my fave bands - Sonic Youth - for free!) My only concern was that we didn't have adequate ear protection for her and I wasn't sure how loud the music would be. So, Matt picked up some ear plugs at a music store and even though they weren't made for kids, we figured they would work (since they are the spongy foamy kind that you can squeeze into even the littlest ear)

When we got to the festival, we ate and then I strapped Scout to my back in the Ergo carrier right after we put the ear plugs in her ears. We found a not-so-crowded spot sort of far away from the stage, but where we could still see really well and we chilled there waiting for Sonic Youth to take the stage. Scout was still in the Ergo.

All of the sudden, Matt said "She's got an ear plug in her mouth!!!" I turned so he could reach her and then he yelled, "Get her out of there!!!" My heart jumped into my throat. I unbuckled the Ergo and he pulled her out. She was choking. She could not breath. Her lips weren't blue yet, but her eyes and mouth were wide open but she wasn't drawing any breath - she was panicking. We were panicking. I told Matt to flip her forward so that she was almost upside down and I pounded on her back HARD with the heel of my hand. The ONLY reason I knew to do that was because she choked briefly on a canned peach chunk not too long ago and it freaked me out enough to look on the internet for info on what to do in that situation. The peach chunk incident was more like she was gagging/coughing....nothing compared to THIS. I swear. I did not think the ear plug was going to come up! It seemed like it took FOREVER, even though I know it probably only took a few seconds.

She finally let out a cry and we lifted her upright. For a second, I still thought she had the ear plug in her mouth, but she didn't. It had come out and was on the ground by Matt's feet. To me, her lips looked a little blue-tinted at that point, but it was hard to tell since it was getting dark out. She seemed a little bit shaken up, but was totally back to her normal happy-go-lucky self within minutes. Matt and I were total wrecks and could not believe what had just happened. What if it would not have come up? I felt like we came so close to losing our precious baby girl that night. It is so crazy how one stupid mistake like that has the potential to change EVERYTHING in an instant. I felt so dumb. Why didn't I think about the possibility of her grabbing them out of her ears? I could just kick myself. For months and months (actually, even before Scout was born) I have been wanting to order some of those noise cancelling headphones that are made especially for kids and toddlers...you know, the kind that ther rock stars' kids wear to concerts. But I just kept putting it off.

Matt said that right before it happened, he was sitting there spacing out, staring at some woman who was dancing all drunk and crazy-like to the music, when he heard that Still Small Voice that said, "look at your daughter". We believe it was the Holy Spirit telling him to look at Scout at that moment. I am so glad he did.

I kept playing the whole thing over in my head the next day and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that there was definitely some divine intervention going on. Whew! It just makes me so thankful that even in our total stupidity and carelessness, God's grace abounds and he is there to guide us.

I know this sounds over-dramatic (and way morbid) but Sunday morning, I woke up thinking that Matt and I could easily be in gut-wrenching, disgustingly painful mourning for the loss of our sweet child, had Matt not seen that she had the ear plug in her mouth. It could have been several minutes before I would've even thought to try to look over my shoulder to check on her. If I would've stopped feeling her moving around in the Ergo, I would've just thought that she had fallen asleep. What if Matt would've been in the bathroom or off getting a drink at a concession stand? No one around us seemed to be paying much attention and it was pretty dark, so I doubt that anyone would've noticed that Scout was choking to death. It makes me sick to think about how things could've turned out. I should probably stop thinking of all the "what ifs"

Labels: deep thoughts, doh, music, outings, spirituality