I haven't mentioned a whole lot about my weight loss journey thus far because I guess there's just not much to report. I joined Weight Watchers back in October and I've lost 12.6 lbs to date. As you can see by the chart, my weight's sort of been bobbing up and down lately. I haven't been working the plan like I should. Sometimes I'm lazy about getting all of the required servings of vegetables and water and sometimes I spend my points on some really stupid crap. I rarely just go nuts and go way over my points, but I've also been lazy about measuring all of my food and journaling every little thing that goes into my mouth. Like I said, not working the plan....but I'm certainly not totally blowing either. When I started, I had 41 points to spend per day. After losing a little weight, my points went down to 38 per day. Most people don't get that many points, but nursing mothers get an extra 10points.

This morning as I was squeezing my fat ass (please excuse my language - I'm just a bit disgusted with my weight right now) into some pants that used to practically hang off of me, it occurred to me that I need to do something drastically different if I want to get this weight off. It also occurred to me that Scout is not nursing nearly as much as she used to now that she has a newfound love for solid foods. So, I decided that I am going to lop off that 10 point nursing mother allowance and stick to consuming just 28 points a day instead.

I admit that I have an addictive personality and if there is a "loophole" in a diet, I will find it. That is why it has been so easy for me to spend too many of my daily points on things like 100 calorie packs of oreo crisps and 1 point Weight Watchers dessert cakes, while neglecting my daily veggie requirements. I used to be very commited to not buying a ton of processed foods and cooking as naturally as I can, but when I'm on a "diet", suddenly I don't care and I look at those stupid low-cal snack cakes as the only things that are helping me not feel deprived.

I most definitely need to change the way I view food.

I have been an overeater for as long as I can remember. I suppose it's tough to correct a lifetime of unhealthy attitudes toward food within a matter of a couple months. (Not that I should use that as an excuse) Sometimes I feel powerless over food. For example, when DH was out of town for a few days this past week, I actually found myself soaking a large hunk of bundt cake with water before chucking it in the trash because I knew I couldn't trust myself not to eat it. Throwing it in the trash wouldn't have have been enough to deter me. Like a nicotine addict who digs a half-smoked cigarette out a of a public butt can, I would not put myself above pulling a George Costanza and grabbing a food item out of the trash in a moment of desperation. (We know, George, it was "on top")

I know, it's sad. I need help.

Labels: doh, food, goals, health, household chores, weight loss