Recently, I've noticed that my attitude toward nursing in public changes depending on who we are out with at the time. When it is just me, DH, and Scout out somewhere, I feel totally comfortable nursing in public. I'm always as discreet as possible, but I truly don't give a crap about what all the strangers around think. But if we are out with certain family members, I feel scared and awkward about breastfeeding Scout in public....as if I'm going to embarrass them or something. I wish I could get over that.

On the last evening of our recent visit up North, we went out to eat with my dad, step-mom, and uncle. Scout was tired and clingy and just needed to nurse a lot. We were at a nice (but not too fancy) steak house, seated at a table (not a booth) in a high-traffic area. I'm so glad that when I mentioned needing to nurse Scout, my dad and step-mom did not act weirded out at all. I was surprised because neither of them are very familiar with breastfeeding and my dad has jokingly asked, "How long do you plan on doing that, until she's in college or something?" on more than one occasion.

I was a little more comfortable when I realized it wasn't a big deal to them (or if it was, they didn't show it) and I think I did a pretty good job of hiding my exposed nipple every time Scout would get distracted and suddenly pop off. But it was still very stressful for me. I was sweating and flustered. Scout was being very squirmy and fussy, so I felt like that was bringing attention to what I was doing. I don't doubt that she was probably picking up on my stressed-out vibes and that probably made things worse.

When we went out to breakfast with MIL the other day, I was hoping and praying that I wouldn't need to nurse Scout while we were at the table. I don't really know her views on breastfeeding, but I get the distinct feeling it's something that makes her uncomfortable. I nursed Scout in the car before we went into the restaurant and then she was content with eating puffed brown rice and pears while she sat in the high chair. It's ridiculous, but I was so relieved that she didn't want to nurse while we were there. If it would've just been DH, Scout, and I out to breakfast, I wouldn't have even given it a second thought.

How come it's so much easier to be bold about breastfeeding around people you don't know than it is when you're with family?

Labels: breastfeeding, family