I'm Done
Wednesday, January 02, 2008

I feel pretty sad about writing this post....but it is also very FREEING. It sounds silly, I know, but I have run the gamut of emotions when it comes to our decision to stop using cloth diapers. GASP! Did I even type the phrase, "stop using cloth diapers??" Yup. I did.

Over the last month or so, I have considered the pros and cons over and over again. Here is what I have come to decide:

Scout sleeps WAY better in disposables. I've known this for a while, but it became increasingly evident after our trip North. When we were staying with my parents over Christmas, she was going to bed at 9:00-9:30 PM and waking up to eat only ONCE at about 4:30-5:00 AM and then sleeping through 'til about 8:00 AM. At home, she had been waking every 3 hours or so. At first, I thought it was the fact that my mom's house feels like the arctic circle at night. Maybe Scout likes to sleep in the cold. Or maybe it was that the room where she slept was very dark. So when we got home, we kicked the heat down a little at night and I shut the night-light off in her bedroom. She has continued to only wake about once in the early morning and I do attribute that some to the darkness and change in temperature. But I'm pretty sure it is mainly due to the fact that she is just much more comfortable in disposables.

Her bottom looks much healthier when she wears disposables. Scout has battled rashiness off and on since we started using cloth when she was 3 weeks old. I'm just sick of dealing with it. Sick of troubleshooting. Sick of watching her endure a red irritated bottom, when I know that all I have to do is stick her in a sposie to make it better. I am 99.9% sure that it is not detergent build-up, yeast, or bacteria or anything like that. Believe me - I have stripped, boiled, sunned, yada yada. I have read all about what to do about rashiness in cloth. I have tried different wash routines. I have tried cloth-diaper-safe creams and natural clay powders. We have every kind of cloth diaper in every kind of fabric. Stay-dry liners. Yup. Natural fibers. Yup. I admit, I have not yet exhausted ALL avenues when it comes to detergents, but to be truthful, I really don't want to. I read all the time about mommas having to buy this detergent or that detergent because their little ones' bums are sensitive. I don't have the energy or money to go out buy 5 different types of detergent, only to find that none of them work...or that only the most expensive, hard-to-find kind works. (sorry, I know I sound jaded and cynical at this point) I am just not willing to go through the months and months of troubleshooting that some cloth users have to endure in order to find a system that works for them. I have spent many MANY hours on cloth diapering web sites and forums (since before we even started trying to conceive a baby. I know, I'm a freak) and have seen so many moms banging their heads against the wall trying to make cloth work for their families. I have also seen many who have no problems at all and cloth diapering has been smooth sailing for them. Well, it has been both ways for me. But lately, there is nothing I like about it and I can't justify putting my babe through more rashiness just so I can figure out what (if anything) I am doing wrong. I'm done banging my head. I give up.

I just think that Scout has extremely sensitive skin and is prone to irritation when there is ANY wetness at all. If she has a particularly drooly day, her chin gets beet red and irritated-looking. The spot that used to be on her chest that I thought was eczema due to a dairy sensitivity, I have now chalked up to being irritation aggrivated by drool and her shirt collars. It's sad to say, but sposies keep her bottom drier than any cloth diaper can. I'm almost positive that her diaper rash is due to wetness and nothing else. Even though fleece and other stay-dry diaper materials are supposed to remedy this, for some reason they don't work for us. I guess it makes sense, because I HATE wearing underwear that is made of synthetic material with a passion. It just makes everything feel all hot and irritated down there...so I can imagine that might be how Scout feels with polyester fleece against her skin too, I dunno.

Not all disposable are equal, when it comes to Scout's bum skin. After trying several different name brands and store brands, I have found only 2 brands that leave her bottom looking healthy and rash-free. Seventh Generation chlorine free diapers and surprisingly, Target brand diapers. I have no clue why the Target brand diapers work better against her skin than say, Pampers or Huggies, but they do. Ideally, I would LOVE to use Seventh Generation diapers exclusively. They are pricey, but there are deals on the internet where you can order in large quantities, which makes the cost comparable to regular name brand diapers. At our local natural foods store, they are $17.99 for a package of 40, which works out to be about 44 cents per diaper! Holy. Freaking. Crap. But if we order them from a site like A.mazon, they come out to about 26 cents per diaper. Not bad. (the same as buying Pampers or Huggies at the grocery store) Obviously, the Target brand dipes are much more affordable, at a measley 14 cents per diaper. That's what we have been buying lately, but I am going to pitch the idea to DH that we should alternate between Target brand and the Seventh Generation chlorine free diapers. That way, we are not spending a ton on diapers, but Scout would have less exposure to the trace amounts of dioxins thought to be present in bleached diapers. [Although, I just stumbled across a study (DeVito & Schecter, 2001) that states, "The refined exposure analysis showed that exposure to dioxins from the diet is more than 30,000-2,200,000 times the exposure through diapers in nursing infants." ....so who knows if dioxins in diapers are even something I need to be concerned about? Bleh. I dunno.]

Disposables are going to be cheaper for us. I know that sounds nuts, but it's true. Our water bill has sky-rocketed since using cloth. It may have to do with the fact that I am neurotic about rinsing the diapers. (another reason why I am positive her dipes don't have detergent build-up) Maybe I use more water than most people who do cloth. Maybe it's my 20-something year old machine. All I know is our water bill has doubled (and some months tripled, if I had stripped the diapers) since using cloth. Once upon a time, we had $30-$40 water bills. Then, they were more like $60-$70. On a month that I "stripped" the diapers with lots of super hot water, the bill was more than $100. I will have to confirm w/ DH, but I think it was actually $120, if I am thinking correctly. That, combined with our initial investment into cloth diapers, puts us over the edge of having any kind of savings with cloth.

Scout can move a little better in disposables. Although, her pocket cloth diapers are pretty trim and don't hinder her movement as much as her fitteds and prefolds with covers. I just enjoy seeing how free she looks when she is darting across the floor with her tiny sposie-clad butt, as opposed to how labored her crawling and standing appears when she's got a big fluff-bum.

Scout's clothes fit better in disposables. That may seem like an insignificant factor, and it would be if we had money to buy her new clothing. But as you may have gathered by some of my previous posts, we are just scraping by financially, so this is not an option. We are are so extremely blessed - we have hardly had to buy any clothes for her at all. I can probably count on one hand the number of outfits I have purchased for her with our own money. All of her clothes have either been brand new items gifted to us by family members or much appreciated hand-me-downs from friends. She just received a whole wardrobe of clothes and pajamas from my family at Christmas, all of which are designed for sposie-butts, not fluff-butts. Her clothing will fit better and for a longer period of time if she is in disposables.

I think that about covers it.

After being such a big proponent of cloth diapers and being so motivated in the past to make them work for us, it feels a bit disappointing and defeating to give up and resort to disposables. I truly do still feel that cloth is best for baby (in most cases) and for the environment and I don't regret the 8 months we spent using cloth. I love sewing cloth diapers and I would still really like to make and sell cloth diapers in the future. Cloth diapering is still something I believe in and that won't change. I am going to miss them and wish I could justify using them. I have to be honest, though. I have not missed doing diaper laundry in the least.

Okay, so I guess I'm not COMPLETELY giving up on cloth. I plan on selling off all of our cloth diapers except for a stack of prefolds and 2 covers. I will use them as back-ups if we run out of diapers or maybe even sporadically here and there to save on disposables (I might be wrong, but I figure her butt might be able to handle wearing a cloth diaper every now and then...we'll see)

Ahhh...

Feels good to get that out and off my chest. I feel sad that I will no longer a part of the "cloth diapering community". I liked being in that exclusive little club :)

Labels: cloth diapering, laundry, money, tough parenting decisions

posted by Unkempt Mommy @ 2:22 AM,

11 Comments:

At Wed Jan 02, 08:51:00 AM CST, La Libertad said...: I'm sorry you found yourself in this position as I can tell you are really into cloth! But its not like you only tried for a week, and your baby's poor butt needs a break. Though you do have a cute diaper stash!
At Wed Jan 02, 12:31:00 PM CST, Annika said...: That must be so disappointing! I know you've tried everything, so I won't make annoying suggestions. I certainly understand how frustrating nights can be -- Sam had to sleep in a disposable until his first birthday (when we only stopped because Bum Genius worked for us). You do what works for Scout, and never mind anything else.
At Wed Jan 02, 12:31:00 PM CST, Annika said...: p.s. Let me know what you're selling, I might be interested!
At Wed Jan 02, 02:50:00 PM CST, WellManneredFrivolity said...: Hey, you did your best and that's what counts. You are a good mama for being so in tune with what makes Scout comfortable and happy.
At Wed Jan 02, 03:09:00 PM CST, Two Lines On a Stick said...: Um, we still haven't even tried cloth at night. We use disposables for nighttime and stuff like church nursery... or if she "needs" to wear a cute pair of jeans. I figure whatever savings the cloth gets us, helps. HOwever Bailey hasn't had any rash issues at all or I might think differently. Congrats on deciding to do what will make your baby comfortable and not just what you "want" to do! And holy cow, that is an insane water bill. Ours is like $40-50 for THREE months!
At Wed Jan 02, 04:39:00 PM CST, eipwek said...: Thanks for all of the support, mommas! You girls are the best. Really.

Annika - I will definitely let you know what I have for sale. Now, I must begin the daunting task of sorting through, "grading" the dipes, and taking pics for the FSOT sites. Yikes. I would also like to sun out the few stains we might have. Gosh, it makes me sad to even talk about it :(

Twolinesonastick & la libertad - It's stupid, but I feel like I "let you down" somehow...since I've been encouraging you as you journey into cloth and have always gone on and on about how great it is. How wishy-washy of me! But I am so glad it is working well for you.

I think I will eventually try doing what you are doing, twolines, with our remaining prefolds.....just doing cloth for pee-pee dipes at home IF Scout's butt will tolerate it. It may not. I have tried a combo of cloth and sposies in the past, and she still had the rash problem. BUT I would like to see what happens now that her skin is totally clear. Maybe I'd have better luck.

Please excuse me, while I light a candle for my diaper stash and say goodbye. :)
At Wed Jan 02, 09:02:00 PM CST, Two Lines On a Stick said...: Will you be able to sell them, or only trade?

And I don't feel let down at all. Once in a while I question WHY I decided to use cloth (like when I smell the pee as I am pulling the inserts out before laundry) but most of the time I like it. I appreciate all the insight you have given. And I hope that maybe cloth will work out for you sometime in the future, if you decide to try it again.
At Thu Jan 03, 09:21:00 AM CST, mama said...: i'm glad you freed yourself of this...you have to do what's best for you! and i totally agree with the nighttime thing--my boys sleep much better at night with a sposie on. i get my 7th gen at 1800diapers.com...about 11.00 or less for one pack. check it out. :)
let me know what you have for sale...
krismarie(mdc)
At Thu Jan 03, 12:52:00 PM CST, Danielle said...: Wow, that came out of left field for me! I totally didn't see that coming but let me just say this, "Welcome to the darkside my fellow quitter!"
Yes, I too gave up on cloth when I finally came to grips with the fact that I just couldn't do another poopie diaper from Max in cloth. I used cloth for over 2 years with him and started Eowyn on cloth, but as of moving to this new house, I have been buying paper dipes. You are totally not alone, and in fact I still have my prefolds and fuzzi bunz if I ever get Max out of dipes, I'll probably try again with Eowyn. Just not into it right now. I am totally behind you. You have valid reasons...but no justification needed.
At Fri Jan 04, 08:36:00 AM CST, dafeist said...: Hey!
Don't beat yourself up over this, you did the best you could and I'm sure the environment is grateful for the 8mths break you gave it :o)

I think keeping some prefolds is a wise decision, who knows? Maybe with time her skin will stop reacting. Or maybe in the summer she'll fare better with warmer weather. Babies are unpredictable. So keep an ope mind!

Myriam (doudat on MDC)
At Fri Jan 04, 10:51:00 AM CST, eipwek said...: Danielle - I'm glad I'm not alone! 2 years is great! Kudos to you!

I think I might slap a perfectly clean and "stripped" prefold on her later to see what happens. Her skin is completely clear now, so if after wearing the cloth dipe it looks iffy, I will totally shelf the part-time cloth idea for now and try again later.