Sitting here waiting for Bob to get here. I'm going to try to have a better attitude today than the rotten beast of an attitude I had yesterday. If I could take him somewhere or entertain him better, maybe he wouldn't be such a stinker. It's freezing outside and I can't afford to just hop in the car and ride around town, so I guess we're stuck here.

***time elapse***

Okay, he just got dropped off and I'm already having to try and stifle my irritation. On the days his mom drops him off, we have a little routine that we HAVE TO follow in order to avoid a total meltdown as she walks out the door. I must have the t.v. on a kids channel BEFORE he gets here, with some kind of snack and a sippy cup of juice sitting on the table beside the couch. Mommy brings him in, plops him on the couch, hands him his drink and snack (by this time, his eyes have met Thomas the Tank Engine on t.v. and he is completely mesmerized), and then she can successfully sneak out. MOST mornings, Bob doesn't notice that mom left and he'll sit and eat his snack in peace.

This morning, mommy brings him in with a MELTY POPSICLE in his hand and sits him down on the couch and says that she HAD to give him the popcicle because that's the only way he would stop crying after she turned off the Wiggles to put his coat on and get him loaded in the car.

Yes, you HAD to give him the popcicle. He physically twisted your arm and led you to the freezer as you cried uncle and reached for the color/flavor of his choice.

To me, this is a little window into why Bob is the way he is. He gets what he wants ALL the time. Mom will do ANYTHING to prevent him from whining and crying. She has admitted that he cannot ride in a vehicle without a DVD player because to him, car rides = Barney. When she drives her employer's vehicle, (which is DVD-less) He works himself into a frenzy and screams the entire car ride.....that is, unless she brings his little handheld TV thing. He does fuss a little in my DVD-free car sometimes, but for the most part he is fine. I have seen this scenario many times: Bob is content and behaving well enough, even though things may not be going his way......then Mom walks in the room and he has a tantrum. I think he knows how to play mom.

I guess I'm big mean babysitter lady, 'cause as soon as mom left, I attempted to distract Bob by taking his shoes off and handing him a handful of wheat crackers as I pried the melty treat from his cold and sticky little hand. He fussed for about 1 minute and then got interested in the crackers and he was fine after that.

I'm no neat freak, and my furniture is certainly not worth anything, but I think it is rude to drop your 21 month old child off at someone's house at 6:30 am with a melty sticky popsicle in his hand, and set him down on a couch in a room full of carpet, blankets, and pillows. I guess she didn't have a choice, though.
Bob MADE her do it.

Oops. So much for trying to have a better attitude. I'm bad. :)

**ETA** (Yes, DH, I SWEAR that ETA means "edited to add" in the blogging world....even though it means "estimated time of arrival" in the real world)

The weather got all nasty here, so Bob's momma got sent home from work and came and got him at 2:00. Bob and I had been sleeping since about 12:45, and we had a pretty good morning. No complaints. I didn't know that she was coming, so we were both sleeping when she knocked on the door. I wondered if she noticed that I had a small blanket folded in half between Bob and my bed sheet when she got him out of the bed while I grabbed his shoes. I hope she didn't think anything of it. I'm a weirdo and I just don't like dirtying up my clean sheets w/ someone else's toddler germs. Yes, I'm a freak, I know.

Labels: babysitting

....with babysitting Bob right now. The burden of it is comparable to the feeling of getting laid off from your full time job.....only, you still have to work the few scattered days your employer needs you.....and you don't know which days those will be until the last minute. You wish that you could just cut ties completely, but you need the scrapings of a paycheck you earn for the 3 or 4 days you may work in a month.

Okay, that's being overly dramatic. After all, I do get to go to "work" in my pajamas and surf blogs while Bob is occupying himself. Plus, my last day at this "job" is March 15th, so there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. I really don't have anything at all to complain about. Just moody, is all.

He's simply having a cranky day and I don't feel like putting up with him. I don't feel like changing his nasty toddler diapers. I don't feel like hearing him whine and beg for the food I'm eating (ignoring the fact that I just gave him his own food). I don't feel like sharing a nap with his snotty little nose and dirty feet. I'm just having one of those days when other people's children (for no other reason than my own hormones) are getting on my nerves and I'm ready to take care of my own sweet baby full time instead.

Labels: babysitting, pregnancy whining

Guess what I ordered today?



Yep - an Ergo carrier (thin body, long beautiful hair, and exotic location not included. Darn.) I was going to get a black carrier, but decided on tan because both of our diaper bags have a tan/brown color scheme. I'm not usually concerned with being all matchy-matchy....but I figured, "Hey, why not?", since the option was there. Besides, both of the black ones have trim on them - one in burgundy and one in a sort of hospital-scrubs green. I'm not huge on either of those colors, so tan sans the colorful trim seemed like a good idea. I think DH will find it neutral enough for a guy to wear as well. Normally, I wouldn't be able to just non-chalantly drop $100 on a baby carrier....but I had shower money to spend!!! Woohoo!

I plan on getting the infant insert that would allow us to tote our newborn around in a sling-like position, but they retail for $25 !!!! I have seen new and used ones on eBay go for much less, so I'm holding out on that. I may even consider just making it myself. After all, it only appears to be a little piece of padded material....simple enough....but then if for some reason I have trouble getting the carrier comfortably adjusted for the baby, I would be left wondering if my ghetto home-made infant insert caused the problem. I don't know the dimensions or exactly HOW padded it is, either. We'll see.

I did buy the actual carrier at the Ergo company's retail site rather than on eBay because even the gently used ones on eBay have been selling for around $65-$70 + shipping. I'd rather spend a little extra and get a brand new one for $92 (includes shipping). That way, it has a warranty and if there are any problems, I feel more secure being able to take it up with the company rather than some random eBay seller. At least I know now that they have spectacular resale value.

A few pics of one of our diaper bags:





My friend had this bag custom made for me. What a sweet friend!!! I told her that I'd like an over-sized one since we're using cloth diapers and they take up a little more space than sposies. And when she asked what colors I prefer, I just told her I like browns and neutral colors. It's made out of a super heavy canvas material and has a faux-leather bottom, so I think it'll be relatively durable. It's a little on the fancy side, considering the clothes I normally wear (not wild about the foofy feathery trim), but I like it well enough and it will certainly come in handy. I also bought another, slightly smaller, diaper bag at Target that is plain brown and looks a bit sportier and more suited for DH to carry if he needs to.

I finished To Kill a Mockingbird, by the way. It was a wonderful story. Now, I need to finish the rest of The Chronicles of Narnia that I started a long time ago. I've read The Magician's Nephew, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Horse and His Boy, and part of Prince Caspian so far.

Labels: baby gear, reading

Thanks ladies, for telling me I look cute pregnant! Awe, shucks. :)

I may as well go ahead and resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be hearing those "You're-About-To-Pop" comments for 3 more months, no matter what. No biggie. There are worse things.....and I agree with you, Danielle, I do enjoy the attention most of the time. I figure I'll only be pregnant (the maximum) of a couple times in my entire life, so I should just soak up and enjoy everything that comes with it, funky comments and all.

I woke up at 9:00 this morning, lazily rolled out of bed to take my vitamins and eat some breakfast, let the dog out to potty, then got back in bed. I've been sitting up in my bed reading since then, only taking breaks to pee and eat little snacks. It's now 1:28 pm.

I am not much of a reader, but when I was at the airport waiting for my connecting flight on Monday, I was extremely bored and none of the magazines at the little gum/candy/travel-pillow store jumped out at me.....so I ended up buying an over-priced copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. I know you will gasp when I tell you this, but I've never read it before.

I was proud of myself for choosing a classic novel over a magazine about crafty/girly things (which is what I am normally drawn to). I'm enjoying the book a lot and I'd like to think I'm turning a new leaf. I was thinking while I was at the airport with my new book that it would probably be a good idea to force myself to read more often, now that I will be someone's mom. I want to be able to encourage my child to read and I'd like to teach by example.

Zeal for learning is contagious, and I'm afraid that if I am stale and uninterested in academia, my kiddo will catch on quick. I feel like I've forgotten so much of what I "learned" in school. "Learned" is in quotations because I just more or less satisfied the teachers by completing all the busy-work and memorizing things for tests. I'm pretty sure most of it didn't really stick in my brain. I'm not sure if we will or not, but if we end up homeschooling our child, I want to be an inspiring wealth of knowledge instead of an uncultured idiot.

My hormones must've been raging fiercely last night. Normally, people's comments about how "huge" I am and how I MUST be having twins do not bother me one bit. I know they don't mean any harm by it and I really do like my round belly, so it's no big deal.....but last night, I almost started crying after this conversation:

Sweet Elderly Woman: "We missed you Sunday. Where were you?"

Me: "I flew to _______ to visit my family."

Sweet Elderly Woman: "Ooh....you have to be careful travelling this late - Ya know, babies can come a little early sometimes!"

Me: (politely smiling) "Gees, I HOPE my baby wouldn't decide to make an appearance this early...I'm only 28 weeks along."

I'm not sure why this struck a nerve with me, but I seriously had to hold back the tears. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that 2 or 3 people had already come up to me and made comments like, "Ya sure ya only got one in there?" and "I bet you're ready to have that baby pretty soon, huh?" ....that, and the fact that the sweet lady is a Labor & Delivery nurse and I figure she oughtta know what a 9-month-preggo lady looks like!

Honestly, it doesn't even bother me to think about it now. Like I said, I rather enjoy my big baby bump. I suppose I was just having an irrationally emotional moment.

I am so on the ball. I'm proud of myself. I have made out every single one of my shower guests' thank you notes (except for 2 that I still need to get mailing addresses for). I wrote a very personal note in each card so that everyone knows how much I appreciated them. I'm usually so horrible about things like that. It took me 6 months to mail out thank-you's after my high school graduation party.

I must be growing up.

Uuuhh.....that, and my mom bought all the shower thank-you's for me and had the guests self-address their own envelopes! Hee hee :)

I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in my last post, but man-o-man, is it good to be home! It's been so nice to sleep in my own bed, cuddled up next to DH.

I feel like I'm getting some sort of sinus ickiness. Poop. I had a headache last night and every time I woke up, my nose felt like it had a cork in it. This morning, my throat was sore. I've been taking vitamin C and echinacea like crazy. Hopefully, these symptoms are just a result of me being exhausted from travelling and I will be back to normal in no time.

Here are some more pics from my trip:

My little niece and I:


My sis and my nephew:


My other nephew:


Here are some detailed pics of the high chair my dad gave me:




This is DH and I on our anniversary bowling outing, taken the Saturday before I left for my trip:


Oh yes, and KatherineK, none of the airline staff seemed to notice my big preggo belly.....except for this one lady at the ticket counter when I was checking my bags for the flight home. She was making small talk about her grandchildren and asked me when I'm due. When I told her I'm due in mid-April, she replied, "Oh, so this must be your last flight between now and then, huh?" That comment sort of confused me, because when I looked up the airline's policy before flying, it very clearly stated, "Medical certificate is required if you will be traveling within 4 weeks of your delivery date in a normal, uncomplicated pregnancy. For domestic flights under 5 hours, travel is not permitted within 7 days before and after your delivery date. If you should need to travel within 7 days before or after delivery, a medical certificate is required as well as clearance from our Special Assistance Coordinator."

I'm 28 weeks pregnant, so I could technically still fly without a note from my healthcare provider for 8 more weeks if I wanted to.

I did bring a note from my midwife that stated my EDD just in case someone questioned me, but I never had to show it. As far as I can tell, all airlines have different policies concerning pregnancy, so you might want to go to your specific airline's website to verify their rules.

Labels: belly pics, family, pregnancy whining

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been gone so long. I appreciate your concern - It's so sweet to know I was missed! I can't wait to catch up on all of your blogs. I went North to visit my family and to attend the baby shower my mom and sis put together for me. I was planning on updating my blog via BlogMailr, but I could never get it to work for me. Dang it! I wanted to steer clear of visiting my blog or any other url's that I wish to remain private while I was using my mom's computer, so I've been patiently awaiting my return to the blogosphere. Whew! I missed this place!

Hey, guess what I got??????



Yippee!!!!!! My precious grandma spent a big wad of cash on my dream car seat. I wanted so badly to bring it home with me. (My mom is going to bring all the gifts I received when she drives down in a few months)

I was blessed with a HUGE abundance of gifts. I could hardly believe it! One of my favorite items is this high chair my dad gave me. He painted an antique wooden high chair and placed art from old magazine ads all over it, then coated it with shelac. I LOVE IT! It is so special and there is not another one like it in the universe. He even sawed off the bottoms of the legs so it can be pushed up to a kitchen table without the tray if we want to. He's in the process of installing a safety strap on it now.



Another one of my favorite gifts is this crib quilt my mom made. She designed the aplique to match the nursery decor we already have. She is super talented! It will look so great with the crib bumper and crib skirt she made to go with it.



Here's me opening (yet ANOTHER fantastic gift!) the Medela electric breast pump my aunt got me. My sis is on the left. My mom is on the right.



Here is a close-up of the little party favors we put together for the shower:



The gift table. (And this pic was taken BEFORE all the guests had arrived. Wow!)



I had a great time last week. It was wonderful to be able to spend so much time with my sis and her 3 beautiful kids. They had me laughing the entire time. Being around them made me realize how fun it will be to have our own little one running around here doing and saying silly things. Kids are a blast.

I missed my husband. A LOT! It's really nice to finally be home. I was supposed to come home on Sunday, but there were some weather issues and I was never able to get on a flight. They put me on a flight yesterday afternoon.....which was delayed and caused me to miss my connecting flight, so I got home 3 hours later than expected. Whew! Flying when pregnant is not a whole lot of fun and I'm glad it's over with.

I had an appointment w/ the midwife today. Everything's looking good. My iron is teetering on the low side, so I'm back on my $25 a bottle iron syrup. Dang.

One of the things that totally blows my mind about becoming a parent is the fact that DH have the power to shape this little person's health. I know that there will be times when I let my child indulge in McDonalds and eat Little Debbie snacks (In fact I already have, in a way), but I love that we can give this little boy or girl the advantage of being raised on a diet that consists mainly of healthy, minimally processed foods.

I know we can't keep our child in a bubble, separated from this world full of weird chemicals and toxins, but I'd like to do what I can to limit his/her exposure to harmful substances.

Lately, I've been reading about the possible negative effects of plastic baby bottles. Although I will be breastfeeding and won't be relying heavily on bottles, there may be times when the baby is a little older when I may need to pump and have DH or someone else feed the baby. My sister gave me 20 or so Avent Naturally bottles in 2 different sizes, along with a few breast milk storage containers. (Woohoo!) All I need to complete the set (and have already registered for) are the nipples.

Somehow, I stumbled across an article on the Children's Health Environmental Coalition about polycarbonate bottles and how scientists in Japan found that they can "release a hormone-disrupting chemical, bisphenol-A (BPA) into infant formula during sterilizing and heating on the stove-top. The scientists also found that used bottles leached up to nearly double that from new bottles."

Then, I read a little here and there about what the effects of BPA are:

Bisphenol A disrupts young brains, scientists report

Bisphenol-A: Wikipedia

Danger in Plastic Baby Bottles?

Of course, the 20 baby bottles that were given to me are made from polycarbonate, the plastic in question.

So now, I'm wondering if I should get some glass bottles, or bottles made from plastics that have been deemed safer like polyethylene and polypropylene. With glass, there's always the concern with breakage and weight. The "safer" plasic bottles out there are ones like Evenflo's pastel polyethylene plastic bottles and Gerber's polypropylene opaque plastic bottles. (couldn't find them on the internet, for some reason).....but how do I know that studies about those plastics won't come out in a few years declaring them harmful as well?

Sheesh.

I'm leaning toward glass, since the occasions our baby will be taking a bottle will hopefully be few and far between. Whoever is doing the feeding can make sure that they are holding onto the bottle while the baby is eating or atleast that baby is not toddling around the house unattended with the bottle.

At the same time, it seems like a "waste" to already have 20 bottles sitting in a box in the other room and not use them.

Am I bordering on fanatacism here? Should I even be worrying about this? Maybe I should just buy like one or two glass bottles so that when we do need to use a bottle, I'll have one handy and we can see where to go from there.

Labels: baby gear, health

I am determined to take a brisk 30 minute walk EVERY DAY. I'm mad at myself for being so complacent about exercise up to this point in the pregnancy. I wish I would've been taking it seriously from day one. Maybe my blood pressure wouldn't have been elevated at my appointment the other day, and maybe my butt wouldn't be the size of Texas.

Yesterday, after Bob got picked up, I threw on my comfy walking shoes, a winter hat (it was windy!!), and my favorite hoodie (I can't believe it still fits). I made sure to use the bathroom before leaving the house because last time, I was miserable halfway through the walk because my bladder was screaming at me.

It felt great to get my heart rate up and walk against the chilly refreshing wind. But not long into my little excursion, my bladder or something in that general area was feeling very sore and irritated. It sort of felt like ligament pain maybe? I'm sure my big uterus isn't accustomed to being jostled around like that, so maybe things were just stretching out in there......OR it was simply my angry bladder again. Whatever it was, it made the walk pretty tough. My lower back was aching most of the time too. I'm sure it's just because I'm not used to much motion these days.

My shoe came untied toward the end of the walk, but I couldn't stop to tie it. By this time, I was certain I needed to pee. BADLY. I was too afraid I would pee my pants if I bent over that far. From now on, I should take someone with me for the specific purpose of tying my shoe and carrying a bucket for me to pee in.

Labels: exercise, health

Here I am at 26 weeks. I've kind of messed up with my belly pic progression because I'm never wearing the same thing or standing the same way....but I think you can still tell how big I am :)

I wish I would've taken one when I first found out I was pregnant, so you could see what I normally look like. Here's a crummy pic of me @ 12 weeks (I hate how I look in this pic!), just to compare:



We've come a long way, baby!
No stretch marks on my belly yet, but the ones I already had around my hips are definitely accentuated now. I've been rubbing organic coconut oil all over my belly and other areas where stretch-marks may pop up when I'm in the shower. I think the hot water opens up pores and lets the oil soak in better than if I just rub it in dry. One of my friends did this and she didn't get a single stretch mark.....although, I know stretch marks have more to do with genetics than skin care....unfortunately.

Labels: belly pics

Our appointment with the midwife went great today. Both the midwife and her apprentice felt around and decided that baby is vertex (head down), which is good to know. His or her little back is sort of off to my right side, so that explains why most of the kicks and jabs are on my left side. I thought it was so cool that they could tell me exactly how he/she is laying in there.

My blood pressure was a bit higher than usual. In fact, it has progressively gone up from about 111/75 on my first visit to 137/79 today. I am going to have to make myself walk every day and watch my fat and salt intake. Well, the midwife didn't say anything about salt, but I know that lots of sodium is not good for BP....and she thinks that the fact that I have been cooking things in butter more often lately might have something to do with it. Blood pressure, you're goin' down!

I just have to vent a little and give my mommy props at the same time. Today when we were driving back from the birth center, I was on my phone talking to someone and they were giving me a hard time about not having that glucose tolerance test dealy where you drink the sugary liquid to find out if you're a gestational diabetic. And DH was on his phone meeting some resistance from someone who was trying to tell us that we should get an ultrasound.

It just irritates the heck out of me that other people think they know what's best for this pregnancy. They have no idea that I have spent hours pouring over articles, forums, and research about pregnancy and birth. I am certainly no expert, but I have weighed the options and I do not take my choices lightly. I guess some people just assume that we are going into this blindly and it is their duty to let us know that we're stupid for not getting all the "routine" tests and procedures that most people under the care of an OB would get. Gggggrrr. It's amazing to me that some women think that because they have experienced birth a couple times, they are total experts on it and whatever happened in their pregnancies is the way things should be for everyone. Okay. End rant.

My mom has never said one single word against the choices DH and I have made about this pregnancy. She has absolutely no knowledge of or experience with natural childbirth, and certainly doesn't know anyone who has given birth outside of a hospital.....yet, she trusts DH and I to make our own decisions. I was afraid when I first told her that we would be using a midwife for prenatal care and having the baby in a free-standing birth center, that she would freak out and think we were crazy. She has done the complete opposite. She seems to embrace our plans to have a relatively low-intervention pregnancy and childbirth and doesn't make me feel stupid or try to be threatening with nay-saying commentary and scary stories. She supports my strong desire to be successful at breastfeeding (and has listened to my long rants about it on more than one occasion) and thinks it's cool that we're going to use cloth diapers. I appreciate all of this more than she will ever know.

On another subject,

I was taking DH to work after the appointment and just about mowed over some pedestrians that I didn't see crossing in front of me. It scared the bejeezus out of them, me, and DH. In my defense, I had a green light and was turning left. I was yielding to the oncoming cars and another pedestrian was crossing the street that I was going to turn onto. I had no reason to look right - I was focused on trying to find a break in the traffic and waiting for the other guy to cross the street to my left. Just as I was about to turn, DH said something to get my attention and I slammed on my breaks and heard the pedestrians scream and saw them jump out of the way out of the corner of my eye. They were super close to the front right corner of my car. I was so shaken and angry. Pedestrians always have the right of way, but for goodness sakes, why on earth would you cross at an intersection that has a GREEN LIGHT in FRONT of a car that is turning left? I have no clue what they were thinking, but I'm so glad I didn't hurt anyone.

I was all moody and emotional about the conversations we had with people questioning our choices regarding the pregnancy. (Even though they weren't really a big deal....my hormones were just magnifying my irritation, I'm sure.) On top of that, I was very hungry and tired from driving for a total of 4 hours. Almost killing a group of idiotic people who have apparently never crossed a city street before was enough to cause my eyes to well up with tears and make me want to crawl in a hole and go to sleep. DH had been light-heartedly poking fun at my driving on the previous day. He said something teasingly about me almost running those people over just before I dropped him off and it just wasn't the time. I'm surprised that my head didn't explode. I ate and took a nap when I got home and felt so much better.

Labels: prenatal appointment

My sister, who is graciously being a surrogate for a momma who can't grow her own babies, is currently visiting the family of the baby she is carrying. She's staying with the parents for 5 days. Their ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby is tomorrow. I spoke with my sister this morning and she said she's having a great time, although she really misses her own kids, who are at home with their daddy. The baby's mom bought my sis a ton of maternity clothes yesterday when they went on a little shopping spree.

Although I'm not willing to carry someone else's baby for the chance to get a bunch of nice maternity clothes, I'm still jealous! :) While pants were an issue for me for a while, now I fear that I am running out of shirts that fit. I'm SO thankful for all the maternity clothes my friends have passed on to me, but bad thing about that is you automatically forfeit your own sense of style when being resigned to wearing only other people's hand-me-downs. I feel like I dress a lot more....I dunno....preppy, or "mainstream" than I used to. I long to wear something a little more my style. Oh well. If that is the extent of my problems, I would say I am amazingly blessed!!!

We have another appointment with the midwife tomorrow. It almost seems like a waste to drive nearly 4 hours (round trip), when I am feeling wonderful and baby seems healthy and SUPER active. She may be able to tell how the baby is positioned, though, so that would be cool. And I'm hoping that she'll be able to find baby's heartbeat with the fetoscope instead of the Doppler this time around. Other than that, she'll just check my blood pressure and my urine for protein and other levels. I know all of that's important, but I guess I'm just feeling lazy about it.

I leave for my trip North on Sunday. My sis said that my mom is ordering the cake for the shower tomorrow and is going to pick up all the cutesy little decorations. I am a lot more excited about the shower than I had anticipated. Maybe it's because I've never had anything like that before. DH and I eloped, so I didn't have a bridal shower. I admit, I do like the idea of a bunch of friends and family gathered around to dote on my big belly and give me a bunch of stuff!

My mom is going to make me a nursing cover-up similar to this one:

I think I like the poncho-type covers more than the ones that look like a funky apron:


They look super easy to make. I may even see what kind of fabric I have lying around and drag my sewing machine out today and experiment a little. I know that I am going to need to nurse in public a lot and I'm not sure how skilled I will be at keeping my boobies under wraps at the beginning. I'm very supportive of women feeling free to nurse in public....but until I can keep most of my boob concealed while nursing, I think I'll feel a lot more comfortable wearing something over my chest.

Labels: baby gear, breastfeeding

I had a Quarterpounder w/ cheese with fries and an orange drink tonight. It was yummy. At first, I felt guilty because I had just gone grocery shopping and spent a lot of time and effort label-reading and choosing healthy foods. But then, I convinced myself that DH and I have a pretty good system going here. We hardly ever keep junk food in the house. There are rarely any cookies, candy, ice cream, etc. to be had under this roof. So when we do have a hankerin' for sweet junk and fatty foods, they're not easily accessible. I think it's alright to indulge in scrumptiously naughty fare every now and again while we're out and about, as long as it's not all the time.

But now that I'm home again, in the land of no dessert, I'm wishing I would've gotten one of those greasy little boxed apple pies while we were at McD's.

Labels: food, health

Thanks for the encouraging comments, y'all. I promise I wasn't "fishing" for them, but your kind words really did help me feel better about myself. I'm glad I don't feel all weepy today. Whew!

My mom called me last night because she was excited about some wallpaper border she found that matches some of the fabric in the baby bedding she is making for our little one. At the end of our conversation, I felt like a piece of poop.

She sent me the link to the wallpaper border while I was on the phone with her so I could tell her if I like it or not. Talk about awkward! When I saw it, I immediately knew that it wasn't something I would've chosen....and I would prefer not to have any border in the room at all. Knowing that she had already bought it and was excited about finding it, I had 2 choices that I had to pick from pretty darn fast: a) I could fake my enthusiasm and let her live out her moment of joy that she picked the perfect border for the baby's room.....OR....b) I could try to let her down easy and tell her that I don't really care for it.

I chose option b.

I felt sooooooooooooooooooooo bad. I just kept apologizing over and over. Part of me wishes that I would've kept my mouth shut and just resigned myself to live with the border even though I'm not crazy about it. But that's just silly, and I figured she'd appreciate my honesty. She didn't seem too hurt over it and we found out that she can return it, according to the company's return policy.

The bad part is, now she's afraid that I won't like the quilt and the crib bumper pad she's making because some of the fabric has the same design as the border. I told her that I know I will love it and it will look great in the room. And I truly do believe that. I wasn't just covering my rear and protecting her feelings. A quilt with pieces of that design in it is WAY different than a semi-permantent fixture like wallpaper border. I also explained to her that I'm not much of a wallpaper border person anyway. Even if it had a design on it that I absolutely loved, I don't know that I would want it plastered around the circumference of the room, ya know? I'm going for a simpler look and I think the quilt and crib skirt and stuff she is making will look great w/ the plain sky-blue walls.

Here's the border:

While the colors DO match all of our other stuff:

....it's not exactly what I was going for. I was thinking that the already robin's egg/sky blue color of the walls would look great plain, with just the wall-hangings and maybe a few white fluffy clouds painted around the dog and his balloons that are "flying away". I think the bright assorted circus prints my mom is using for the bedding will look really cute and offset the simplicity of the walls. The border, in my opinion, would've just made it look too "busy".

I made sure my mom knew that I REALLY appreciate everything she is doing to help w/ the baby's room and just because I wasn't fond of the border, doesn't mean I won't like the rest of the stuff she has picked out. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings....I mean, she's working so hard to make nice things for the baby.

Labels: baby gear

I cried this morning for absolutely no reason. Okay, I guess I had a reason, but it's not a very good one. It's a strange feeling when your brain knows that there is no logical reason to be weepy and sad, but you can't stop the tears from welling up. I don't enjoy being irrationally emotional, but I guess it feels good to let out a good cry every now and again. Not something I want to make a habit of.

What got me in such a mood was thinking about how useless I am to DH...or hopefully more accurately, how I useless I FEEL to DH .......how I don't make any money and I feel totally worthless sometimes....and then the waterworks started. I know deep down that I'm not worthless, and I wish I could teach myself to stop thinking of my worth and ability to contribute in terms of MONEY, but it's a tough mindset to get out of.

I need to take a moment and look at all the things that I do get accomplished that DH probably finds valuable. He always has clean clothes that are hung up and (relatively) wrinkle-free....Socks and undies in the dresser drawers...clean towels in the hall closet. He always has a lunch to take with him to work, and I'm always home to cook dinner. (unless we have a church function that I need to go to before he gets home) I make the most of our meager grocery budget and I am usually very thrifty about how often I drive my car. Before I got pregnant, I did all the yard work and plan on starting back up after the baby's born. (Okay, maybe not right after :) I know I waste a lot of time on the computer, but most of the time I am reading articles/message boards that pertain to healthy birth and pregancy, breastfeeding, cloth diapers, and parenting in general. Surely, me reading up on all the stuff that DH probably doesn't have the time to delve into will prove to be a valuable asset to our family.

I could make an even longer list of things that I don't do that I SHOULD try and get done during my days at home, but I want to end this post feeling halfway decent about myself.

Way to go, pregnancy hormones.

Labels: deep thoughts, finances

I'm at 25w2d.

I am HUNGRY ALL THE TIME! If I skip a couple hours of snacking, my tummy gets an empty feeling that starts to resemble heartburn. As soon as I eat, it goes away. I get CRANKY if I don't have a snack at my disposal at all times.

I have outgrown 3 out of 4 of the maternity pants I was wearing (well, one of those were just a pair of "fat pants" left over from my chunkier days).....so I had to buy 3 pair of $10 stretchy sweatpant-type bottoms to last me (hopefully) for the rest of the pregnancy. XL maternity jeans from Old Navy and Target don't fit very well anymore (I can sort of wear them comfortably standing up, but they cut into me and give me "muffin tops" in the back if I sit down....I have to leave them unzipped if in the car and around the house) ....which means my only option is plus-size maternity from Motherhood. And I am NOT spending $45-$50 on 1 pair of pants this late in the game. Stretchy pants will have to do. At least they don't have elastic around the ankles :)

I haven't been getting very much exercise at all up to this point in the pregnancy. I was doing so well to walk for 30 minutes 5 days a week in the beginning. Then came the nausea for several weeks and I got out of the habit of walking. Then it got cold, so that became my excuse. I went for a 30 minute walk with my dog yesterday and it felt good. I want to keep it up, but it might be hard on the days I am watching Bob. His momma didn't dress him warm enough today for me to be able to wheel him around outside for an extended period of time....and even if he had a heavier coat on, I might feel bad to make a toddler endure the cold so I can get my excercise. Ha. More excuses.

It's getting tougher to sleep comfortably. It's awkward to roll over when I want to shift sides, but I have to do it quite often or my hips will hurt. Each time I wake up to pee (about 2 or 3 times) my bladder hurts and feels like it's about to explode. I'm dying for a good back rub, but I don't feel right asking DH to give me one, since he works all day and I don't. Besides, if I asked for one, I'd get called a whiner and end up with a half-assed little 5 second massage. (hey, it's true :) I don't think he's aware, but I'm pretty sure that massage is an integral part of the Bradley Method and will be one of his duties during labor.

Those are my only gripes/observations. Pretty good, eh? Oh yeah, and my nipples feel like they have needles in them today. Okay, now I'm done.

Labels: clothes, exercise, pregnancy, pregnancy whining

Wow. We have totally hit the jackpot when it comes to our childbirth class situation. I just spoke with the Bradley Method instructor that our midwife refers all her clients to, and she is AWESOME!

She usually has about 3 classes full of couples going on at any given time, but she has decided to slow down a little and take a breather for a few months. She has offered to give us PRIVATE CLASSES during her time of reprieve.....so basically, DH and I get to set a weekly day and time that's convenient for us, as long as it jives with her schedule. She lives about 45 minutes to an hour from us and normally holds her classes in the town where we see our midwife, which is almost 2 hours away from us. She is willing to meet with us in the city where my husband works, which is just a 30 minute drive for us. AND GET THIS: She loves working with my midwife and for her clients, she only charges $100 !!!!....and that's for the full 8-12 week course (it's really 12 weeks, but she likes to combine a few of the sessions if she can) AND that includes the cost of a $25 book. So, she's only making $75 on the deal.

A friend of mine and her husband just went through 12 weeks of Bradley classes w/ a different instructor and paid A LOT more. Their instructor charges $200, but they had to pay $300 because they couldn't make it to some of the sessions and had to receive a few private classes.

My midwife is familiar with both instructors and assured me that the instructor we're using is the best of the best and, in her opinion, is better in some ways than my friend's instructor. (I certainly won't be sharing that info w/ my friend!)

Here's the BEST part: If DH and I are comfortable with our instructor and feel that we would like her to attend the birth to help DH in his role as my "coach", and also be a sort of Doula, working along side him, she will do it at NO EXTRA CHARGE. She said she doesn't do that for everyone, but for my midwife's clients, she will do practically anything. She explained that this is her hobby and passion. It's not her main source of income, so she doesn't do it for the money.....she just LOVES helping couples become informed about childbirth and is passionate about making the birth atmosphere a positive one for both of the parents.

Of course, I would not feel right about NOT paying her for her presence at the birth. I don't know where the money will come from, but I'd like to give her an extra hundred dollars or two if she does come to the birth....even though I know she's probably worth WAY more than that - many Doulas charge $600 or more!

Here's an encouraging little statistic taken from the Bradley website: "Of over 200,000 Bradley®-trained couples nationwide, over 86% of them have had spontaneous, unmedicated vaginal births."
That makes me feel really good.

Right now, our tenative schedule is to start meeting every Thursday evening around 6 or 6:30 at the beginning of February at a building that just happens to be a few blocks from where DH works. Of course, I will have to check w/ DH to make sure this is okay, but the instructor told me to call if that doesn't work for us and we will figure out a different time.

I'm excited!!!!!!!!

Katherine K., I hope you found an opening in the birthing class of your choice. How's that going for you?

Labels: childbirth classes, labor/birth

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
2007 is special.
This is the year my husband and I will become parents! Amazing!

Labels: holidays