My Sister, the Baby-Grower
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
A reader had asked about my sister's surrogate pregnancy and how it all went down, so I thought I'd retell the story and update y'all.
About 5 weeks after I got pregnant, she was implanted w/ 4 embryos of a couple who live across the country from her that can't have children naturally. Only one embryo "took" and she gave birth to the couple's beautiful baby boy in May. My sis really has a heart for couples that need surrogates to have their own babies. In that particular case, the couple had had 2 surrogate pregnancies prior to finding my sis and 2 beautiful children as a result. They had 4 embryos leftover from the previous transfers and they felt that it would be immoral to leave them frozen or destroy them. I guess they also decided that they couldn't bring themselves to donate them because they felt that they were already their children.
When my sister first decided to become a surrogate, she went through an agency, but couldn't seem to find the right couple for her. Most of them had stipulations in their contracts where she would have to agree to terminating the pregnancy in case of "unwanted multiples" (too many of the implanted embryos surviving) or in case of birth defects and abnormalities that might be diagnosed during the pregnancy. She was NOT willing to agree to such things. She met this couple, who share similar beliefs and she became very close with them. She ended up carrying their child for them FOR FREE. Can you believe that??? Now, that is selflessness! Of course, all of her medical expenses and travel were paid for. The baby's mom would frequently send my sis boxes of "goodies" and slip a $100 into an envelope and send it to her now and then. She also took her shopping for maternity clothes. The problem was, this couple had already spent their life savings on their 2 previous surrogate pregnancies and had absolutely no money left, but felt heartbroken that their embryos were just sitting in a freezer. My sister just felt it in her heart that she was meant to give these embryos a chance. My sis has remained in contact with the family and they are all great long-distance buddies.
In fact, I live about 3.5 hours away from this family and when my sister comes down to visit (she's getting here this Saturday! Yay!), we are all going to drive over there and spend a couple days with that family and see my sister's "surro-babe", as she refers to him. I've seen pics. He's a cutie.....and a monster!! He weighs 2 lbs more than Scout and he is 5 weeks younger than her!
My sister's husband was a real trooper through the whole thing. He wasn't really on board at first, but came around eventually. My sister wants to DO THIS AGAIN! This time, she is going through an agency and will get paid. She just let the agency know that she is not willing to terminate and they will look for a couple with the same beliefs. She's hoping to find a couple soon and do an embryo transfer after the first of the year. Her husband seems like he is more on board with this next go-round and admitted that he sort of felt left out of the whole process last time and would like to have a more active roll next time.
She has 3 children of her own and has had her tubes tied, so they are done having kiddos. They feel like their family is complete, but my sister says that she just thinks her body was made to have children (all 4 of her pregnancies were healthy and quite uneventful) and that it is a gift that God gave her so she can help people that can't have children naturally.
Many people in my family were not fond of the idea. I was supportive, but I was also afraid that my sis was being taken advantage of and that she would regret doing such a huge selfless thing for free. It all worked out in the end, but I'm glad she is opting to get paid for her services next time. It is such a huge thing to share your body with a family, providing a place for their baby to grow for 9 months....I think it deserves A LOT of monetary compensation!
It's funny how many people she had asking her throughout the pregnancy, "Won't you have a hard time giving the baby up?" I guess they just didn't understand that the baby was in no way biologically related to her. It was made from that couple's sperm and egg and was essentially a baby before it was even implanted into her womb. She was just the "oven", so to speak. She still gets people asking her if she has had separation issues and if she is upset about giving the baby away. She gets really annoyed by that. "Gees, haven't you people ever watched Friends??" is her frustrated reaction to their ignorance. LOL :)
About 5 weeks after I got pregnant, she was implanted w/ 4 embryos of a couple who live across the country from her that can't have children naturally. Only one embryo "took" and she gave birth to the couple's beautiful baby boy in May. My sis really has a heart for couples that need surrogates to have their own babies. In that particular case, the couple had had 2 surrogate pregnancies prior to finding my sis and 2 beautiful children as a result. They had 4 embryos leftover from the previous transfers and they felt that it would be immoral to leave them frozen or destroy them. I guess they also decided that they couldn't bring themselves to donate them because they felt that they were already their children.
When my sister first decided to become a surrogate, she went through an agency, but couldn't seem to find the right couple for her. Most of them had stipulations in their contracts where she would have to agree to terminating the pregnancy in case of "unwanted multiples" (too many of the implanted embryos surviving) or in case of birth defects and abnormalities that might be diagnosed during the pregnancy. She was NOT willing to agree to such things. She met this couple, who share similar beliefs and she became very close with them. She ended up carrying their child for them FOR FREE. Can you believe that??? Now, that is selflessness! Of course, all of her medical expenses and travel were paid for. The baby's mom would frequently send my sis boxes of "goodies" and slip a $100 into an envelope and send it to her now and then. She also took her shopping for maternity clothes. The problem was, this couple had already spent their life savings on their 2 previous surrogate pregnancies and had absolutely no money left, but felt heartbroken that their embryos were just sitting in a freezer. My sister just felt it in her heart that she was meant to give these embryos a chance. My sis has remained in contact with the family and they are all great long-distance buddies.
In fact, I live about 3.5 hours away from this family and when my sister comes down to visit (she's getting here this Saturday! Yay!), we are all going to drive over there and spend a couple days with that family and see my sister's "surro-babe", as she refers to him. I've seen pics. He's a cutie.....and a monster!! He weighs 2 lbs more than Scout and he is 5 weeks younger than her!
My sister's husband was a real trooper through the whole thing. He wasn't really on board at first, but came around eventually. My sister wants to DO THIS AGAIN! This time, she is going through an agency and will get paid. She just let the agency know that she is not willing to terminate and they will look for a couple with the same beliefs. She's hoping to find a couple soon and do an embryo transfer after the first of the year. Her husband seems like he is more on board with this next go-round and admitted that he sort of felt left out of the whole process last time and would like to have a more active roll next time.
She has 3 children of her own and has had her tubes tied, so they are done having kiddos. They feel like their family is complete, but my sister says that she just thinks her body was made to have children (all 4 of her pregnancies were healthy and quite uneventful) and that it is a gift that God gave her so she can help people that can't have children naturally.
Many people in my family were not fond of the idea. I was supportive, but I was also afraid that my sis was being taken advantage of and that she would regret doing such a huge selfless thing for free. It all worked out in the end, but I'm glad she is opting to get paid for her services next time. It is such a huge thing to share your body with a family, providing a place for their baby to grow for 9 months....I think it deserves A LOT of monetary compensation!
It's funny how many people she had asking her throughout the pregnancy, "Won't you have a hard time giving the baby up?" I guess they just didn't understand that the baby was in no way biologically related to her. It was made from that couple's sperm and egg and was essentially a baby before it was even implanted into her womb. She was just the "oven", so to speak. She still gets people asking her if she has had separation issues and if she is upset about giving the baby away. She gets really annoyed by that. "Gees, haven't you people ever watched Friends??" is her frustrated reaction to their ignorance. LOL :)
posted by Unkempt Mommy at 6:37 AM
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