Cry Baby
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I cried this morning for absolutely no reason. Okay, I guess I had a reason, but it's not a very good one. It's a strange feeling when your brain knows that there is no logical reason to be weepy and sad, but you can't stop the tears from welling up. I don't enjoy being irrationally emotional, but I guess it feels good to let out a good cry every now and again. Not something I want to make a habit of.
What got me in such a mood was thinking about how useless I am to DH...or hopefully more accurately, how I useless I FEEL to DH .......how I don't make any money and I feel totally worthless sometimes....and then the waterworks started. I know deep down that I'm not worthless, and I wish I could teach myself to stop thinking of my worth and ability to contribute in terms of MONEY, but it's a tough mindset to get out of.
I need to take a moment and look at all the things that I do get accomplished that DH probably finds valuable. He always has clean clothes that are hung up and (relatively) wrinkle-free....Socks and undies in the dresser drawers...clean towels in the hall closet. He always has a lunch to take with him to work, and I'm always home to cook dinner. (unless we have a church function that I need to go to before he gets home) I make the most of our meager grocery budget and I am usually very thrifty about how often I drive my car. Before I got pregnant, I did all the yard work and plan on starting back up after the baby's born. (Okay, maybe not right after :) I know I waste a lot of time on the computer, but most of the time I am reading articles/message boards that pertain to healthy birth and pregancy, breastfeeding, cloth diapers, and parenting in general. Surely, me reading up on all the stuff that DH probably doesn't have the time to delve into will prove to be a valuable asset to our family.
I could make an even longer list of things that I don't do that I SHOULD try and get done during my days at home, but I want to end this post feeling halfway decent about myself.
Way to go, pregnancy hormones.
What got me in such a mood was thinking about how useless I am to DH...or hopefully more accurately, how I useless I FEEL to DH .......how I don't make any money and I feel totally worthless sometimes....and then the waterworks started. I know deep down that I'm not worthless, and I wish I could teach myself to stop thinking of my worth and ability to contribute in terms of MONEY, but it's a tough mindset to get out of.
I need to take a moment and look at all the things that I do get accomplished that DH probably finds valuable. He always has clean clothes that are hung up and (relatively) wrinkle-free....Socks and undies in the dresser drawers...clean towels in the hall closet. He always has a lunch to take with him to work, and I'm always home to cook dinner. (unless we have a church function that I need to go to before he gets home) I make the most of our meager grocery budget and I am usually very thrifty about how often I drive my car. Before I got pregnant, I did all the yard work and plan on starting back up after the baby's born. (Okay, maybe not right after :) I know I waste a lot of time on the computer, but most of the time I am reading articles/message boards that pertain to healthy birth and pregancy, breastfeeding, cloth diapers, and parenting in general. Surely, me reading up on all the stuff that DH probably doesn't have the time to delve into will prove to be a valuable asset to our family.
I could make an even longer list of things that I don't do that I SHOULD try and get done during my days at home, but I want to end this post feeling halfway decent about myself.
Way to go, pregnancy hormones.
Labels: deep thoughts, finances
posted by Unkempt Mommy at 11:07 AM
3 Comments:
I'm going to give you an annoying little pep talk.
You are nurturing a beautiful child with your body. You are being a good steward of the money your husband earns. Soon you will be doing the most important job in the world-you will be raising up a child the way he or she should go. Not to mention the fact that you are as cute as a button!
I will be praying for you!
hey you're doing the most important job in the world and the biggest thing you should be worrying about is how best to relax and enjoy this wonderful time in your life. In relation to post below I used to feel bad about always asking husband for a leg rub - but I soon got over it! And if he gave me one of those naff half-hearted attempts I'd tell him to get right back there and do it properly!!
Most important job in the world!
Do you get it yet?
Melissa
http://www.freebirthannouncement.com/
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