Thank you all, for your words of encouragement and being able to relate to my predicament concerning postpartum house guests. It's SO good to know that others have felt the same way I do - like a momma bear in her cave, who doesn't want anyone around her or her little cub. Speaking of which, I find it very interesting that just about every mammal in nature goes off and hides when it's time to give birth. Why should a human mommy be expected to be little-miss-social-hostess immediately after such a trying event? The nicest dog in the world can suddlenly turn into Cujo if you invade her recovery space and touch her newborn young uninvited. Not that we are mere animals.....but there must certainly be a reason for our innate desire to crawl into a hole to be by ourselves after giving birth.

In my opinion, I haven't been crazily hormonal or emotional through the pregnancy thus far. Sure, I have my rotten moods and moments of frustration, just like anyone else. You could double check with my husband, but I'm pretty sure that he would tell you I haven't had any wild mood swings or moments of irrational sadness to speak of. But on this one issue, I feel like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

One minute, I feel dead-set against having my step-dad come to visit during our first days with the baby....and I even start to have doubts about wanting my mom here to help out. DH IS MY COMFORT ZONE. Period. Part of me thinks that anyone else will make me uncomfortable and I will just want to curl up in bed with him and our new little one for days on end.

The next minute, I feel like I'm being silly and that having my mom and step-dad here will be a good thing. Besides, DH and I can always hole up in the bedroom if we want to while they're here. There is, after all, such a thing as a bedroom door. I mean, really, how bad could it be? Having my mom here to make meals, do dishes, laundry, and other stuff will be SOOOOOOO nice. This sounds very selfish, but I also suspect they will help out with groceries, miscellaneous baby items, and unexpected expenses that may pop up while they're here. If all I have to do is put up with my step-dad's mildly abnoxious neediness for a week or so to gain all the benefits of having my mom here for support, (and his eagerness to help with macho fix-it things around the house may come in handy as well), then that's not too bad.

I flip-flop on the issue almost daily. I'm pretty sure I'm putting too much thought into it, but I can't help it. I just don't want to have an experience like some of you have described in your comments and that I've also read about on pregnancy boards and such.....getting so freaked out and stressed that I flip out and explode in a hormonally-charged meltdown doesn't sound like a fun way to start my first days with a new baby.

I'm going to be totally honest with my mom about my feelings and force her to listen to me....I'll tell her EXACTLY what scares me about having house guests during that time (Well, I'll leave out the part about thinking that my step-dad is loud and abnoxious...that may not go over so well :) and then we can discuss it from there. If she knows how strongly I feel about my privacy and space, I think having them here will actually be tolerable and both DH and I will end up enjoying their company and support. If they know they have to play by MY rules and back off when I need them to, then it shouldn't be a problem, right? DH doesn't seemed frazzled by their impending visit. Maybe he can be my cool level-headed anchor in all of this and neutralize my leave-me-the-crap-alone hormones.

DH asked if I would feel the same way if it were my biological father coming to visit. I didn't hesitate and said, "Absolutely". Something just seems weird to me about having a male around (who isn't my husband and father of the child) after giving birth. But, like I mentioned before, that's why bedroom doors were invented. There may be times that I'll want to retreat and be alone, but there will also undoubtedly be times when I'd like to be social and share the joy of our new baby with my family. I'll be sad if I miss out on that.

Labels: family, general complaining, griping about people, pregnancy

Excuse my discombobulated layout....I'm trying some things out and hoping to find a combo I like.

I've mentioned this before, but it's on my mind again and I'm going to have to do something about it soon. My mom has offered to come stay with us when the baby's born to help out w/ the cooking, cleaning, etc. She wants to come down a week before my due date and stay for as long as I feel like I need her help. She told me that she'd even be willing to stay for an entire month, if I feel like I need her help for that long. I am SOOOOOO appreciative of this offer. I know that with my entire family living 900 miles away, I should treasure any special milestone moments like this that I get to share with them. My mom is so excited about helping me decorate the nursery. She is in the process of making the curtains, bumper pads, & and bedding for the crib. (Although I know the crib won't get much use right away). I want her to come and help and I'm excited about her visit....It will be a comfort having my mommy with me during those first few weeks.

The problem is, I DON'T WANT MY STEP-DAD TO COME WITH HER! I know that may sound heartless, but I just keep playing it all out in my mind and I don't think I can handle having a male (other than my husband) staying at my house when I have this baby.

For one thing, DH will probably only be able to get a VERY short vacation from work when the baby is born, and I'm afraid that he'll feel like he has to entertain and go off and do things w/ my step-dad while he's here. I want ALL of DH's attention to be with me and the baby. I think it's important that DH get to bond w/ the baby as much as possible before he has to go back to work...and I can definitely see my step-dad (not purposefully, of course) getting in the way of that.

Another reason I don't want him here is the fact that I will be learning the ins and outs of breastfeeding. If I want to go around my house totally topless during those first few weeks, I want the freedom to do that. If I want to gripe about cramps and bleeding and perineal ouchies, I want the freedom to do that too. My house just won't be MY HOUSE with a male house-guest making me feel all inhibited.

The third (AND PROBABLY BIGGEST) reason I don't want him around is that he is VERY dependent on my mom. He can do things on his own, but when she's around, he suddenly forgets how to do everything. She could be on the opposite end of the house and he'll yell for her from his recliner. When she stops what she's doing to see what he wants, it'll be some silly question like, "What's good on t.v. tonight?" or "Where's the cordless phone?" Granted, she doesn't always put up w/ this non-sense. Sometimes, she gets fed up and says "Go find it yourself!"

He is a super nice guy and I love him to death, but he is very needy. He LOVES to be waited on. When they came to visit a few months ago, I was wondering how on earth she does it! "Hon, where are my socks?" (when they're obviously in the suitcase...same place they were yesterday....duh!) "What's for dinner tonight?" (Harmless question....except that he already asked her twice that day and every time she gave the same answer!)

I think he just gets bored and likes to hear himself talk or something. It's like he doesn't have a filter. The first thing that pops into his mind, he says. That's just the way he's always been. Not only is there no filter, but he is very LOUD as well. I wish you could imagine this. I'm not doing it justice with my description. He is like a cartoon character or a parody. It makes me giggle....until I'm around it for more than 5 hours....then, it just gets old because he is being totally serious and has no idea he's acting that way.

This may seem selfish, but if my mom comes here to help out with the baby, I can see myself getting extremely annoyed if he is tugging on her apron strings the whole time at a billion decibels and I'm having to listen to it.

For the last few months, I've been telling myself that it won't be so bad to have him here and that I'm just being insensitive. After all, he is so nice to us and loves nothing more than to help us out whenever he can. One of the reasons he wants to come down when my mom visits is so he can do little home-improvement projects around our house.

But.....no matter how hard I try, the whole thing just doesn't sit right with me. I'm afraid that with my emotions running high during that stressfull period of adjustment and change, I will totally snap and fly off the handle at him.

So, I tactfully brought the subject up when I was talking to my mom the other day. Actually, I thought the way her side of the conversation was headed, that she was trying to break it to me easy that my step-dad might not be coming down with her. Not so. (sigh)

She was saying that she didn't think he'd want to stay for as long as she wants to stay, so she's trying to convince him to come down separately and only stay for a week and let her drive down by herself and stay as long as I want her too. I interrupted at this point and said "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about this...." and brought up the fact that I don't know if I'll feel entirely comfortable with another man in the house while I'm recovering from giving birth and learning how to breastfeed.

It felt good to let that out and I thought for sure that I was getting my point across. NOPE. She then cut me off and said, "Oh, honey, stuff like that doesn't bother him. Your step-brother's wife nurses her baby at our house all the time and he just gets up and leaves the room. It's no big deal."

Oh. My. Gosh.

Then I couldn't get a word in edgewise. She just was going on and on about how much he wants to come, but doesn't want to stay for a month but that she's committed to staying here for as I long as I want, so she's not sure what they'll end up doing, yada yada. She obviously did not grasp what I was trying to tell her.

So, I'm going to pitch this idea to my mom and try to be as blunt as possible: Maybe instead of coming down a week before my due date, she can drive down ON my due date (I have a feeling that I'll go past my due date for some reason)....OR immediately AFTER the baby's born. Then, she can stay for 3 or 4 weeks after that. My step-dad can fly down the last week she's here and then drive back with her. By that time, I don't think I'll be quite as hormonal and I'll feel more up to having loud and needy house guests :)

Uuuugghhh. I hate confrontation. I'm not looking forward to bringing this up again, but I HAVE TO. Ideally, I just don't want him here at all. It's not that I don't want to see him, it's just that I will be thinking about other things. DH and I will be wrapped up in being brand new parents for the very first time, and not much else will matter. Everything/everbody else will just be in the way, in my mind. I want my home to be a quiet safe-haven and place of bonding and recovery and learning about our baby in PEACE. This is the only time we'll get to experience bringing a baby home for the first time, and I don't want it to be tainted by a visit that unintentionally feels like an intrusion.

Labels: family, general complaining, griping about people

Man-o-man, have I eaten loads of junk over the past few days! Cookies....fudge....chocolate fondue w/ pound cake, candy, egg rolls, deep fried squash....french toast and grilled cheese made with (gasp!) white bread....biscuits and sausage gravy....the list goes on. All these things wouldn't be so bad, if I hadn't eaten such large quantities of them and had at least intermingled them with some fresh vegetables.

I want to sink back into my normal, relatively healthy eating habits today. So far, so good. I've had a bowl of cereal and a protein smoothie made w/ eggwhite protein powder, super green food supplement, echinacea, frozen fruit, and orange juice. Now, I think I'm going to eat some celery and carrots w/ natural peanutbutter and maybe some french toast....with NO maple syrup (even though we have all-natural 100% maple syrup, I need to wean myself off of this holiday sugar binge). Then, maybe I'll have a spinach salad w/ sunflower seeds and cheddar cheese.

I'd also like to do better with the quantity of water I drink. I still drink a lot of water, but I've slacked off with measuring and knowing FOR SURE that I'm getting at least 100 oz of water in a day.

I just called my midwife to get the phone number of the Bradley childbirth class instructor that we are going to use. I believe it is a 12 week course, so we probably need to get started as soon as we can. She's really good about returning my calls right away, so I'm sure I'll hear something from her soon.

Labels: food, health

We went over to our Pastor's house last night and I thought I'd go ahead and get my pic taken in front of their tree instead of taking my usual bathroom mirror shot.

Labels: belly pics

Festivus was a success! We didn't do much planning. Just put up a pole and had a few pals over for PB & J sandwiches. One of our friends brought a pot of chili and stuff to make virgin margaritas and daquiris. We played karaoke games on the XBox and watched the episode of Seinfeld that made Festivus popular. We unintentionally skipped over the "Airing of Grievances"....I guess we were busy having too much fun. DH did get wrestled to the ground in the "Feats of Strength" by his pregnant wife and 2 other people at the night's end.



A pic of our Festivus Pole.....tainted by a scary snowman sent to me by my grandma. DH likes to scare our dog by chasing her around with its loud creepy music and glowing eyes. The blurry puff-ball behind the pole is our friend's dog, who joined us for the Festivus festivities.



Our dog thinks she's a person.



The dogs dance merrily around yon Festivus Pole, which ultimately ends in a ritualistic butt-sniffing.



The Pole.


DH bought one of those Jones Soda holiday gift sets. We each had our own tea cup to sample each flavor one "course" at a time. They were all pretty nasty. Especially the green pea flavored soda. The antacid flavored soda wasn't so bad, though.



Our friends received a gift set at an office party that included margarita and daquiri fixins. They don't drink, and neither do we....so we all decided to get totally wasted on sugar. I was so hung over the next day.


This is what happens when I take a pic in the dark and then try to fix it later. (Have I ever mentioned that I HATE using a flash and will avoid it at all costs?) Here are our pals laughing at eachother's karaoke attempts.

We're going over to our friends' house today to feast on quail. I've never had quail.

Labels: holidays

I think I'm going to try and make an interesting dessert that uses apricot baby food as one of the ingredients. My aunt often made it and brought it to various family gatherings when I was little. It's one of my favorite desserts and I haven't had it in forever!

2 packages apricot Jell-o
⅔ cup water
1 can crushed pineapple, undrained
1 ½ cup chopped nuts
⅔ cup sugar
2 jars apricot baby food
1 can sweetened condensed milk, chilled
1 package cream cheese (8 oz.)

Combine jello, sugar and water, bring to a boil and dissolve jello. Remove from heat, stir in fruit; set aside to cool. Combine milk and cream cheese, beat until smooth. Stir in jello mixture, add nuts. Pour into mold or bowl and refrigerate.

I was going to call my aunt to ask her for the recipe, but then I figured it might be somewhere on the net. Low and behold, it is. If all goes well, it should end up as a big bowl full of cold and fluffy, fruity, cream-cheesey yumminess.

**EDIT**
I ended up adding 4 cups of Cool Whip to the cream cheese mixture, only using 1/2 can of the sweetened condensed milk, and using 2 cups of water to dissolve jello instead of just 2/3 cups. I found another recipe on the web with these modifications, and decided to try it out. I'm pretty sure it'll end up more like my aunt's recipe - hers was set like jello, yet light and fluffy.
**********

My friend invited us to her Christmas Eve family get-together and I wanted to take a dish that is simple, inexpensive, and unusual. Plus, I almost ALWAYS make some sort of Jell-O concoction when bringing a dish to a potluck. We are also invited to another friend's house for Christmas Day. Maybe I'll make 2 batches and take one to each party.

We are still planning on celebrating "Festivus" on Saturday. (See previous post) We even bought a Festivus pole! But it is not as cool as the poles that this company makes. Thanks, Gladiator's Mommy for sending me that link! That company charges $38 for a 6' Festivus pole with a colapsible aluminum base, not including shipping. We bought a 7' pole at Lowe's for approx. $15, which is actually a metal composite electrical conduit pipe, not pure aluminum. It's much heavier than what I imagine Frank Costanza's original "High strength-to-weight ratio" pole being......but all in all, it looks just like a Festivus pole. The only problem is, we don't currently have a way to stand it up. It's leaning up against our dining room wall for now. I thought about getting a big plastic flower pot or a galvanized metal bucket, standing the pole up in it, and filling it w/ concrete....but I suppose it's getting a little late for a project like that, with Festivus being tomorrow and all. Oh well. Maybe next year. Next year, we'll be able to take a picture of our adorable 8-month-old baby all dressed up in his (or her) Festivus best (whatever that may be) sitting next to the glorious Festivus Pole.

**EDIT**
I went to Lowe's and bought some concrete and a piece of PCV pipe that the Festivus Pole would fit into. But instead of buying a plastic flower pot, I ended up getting a Christmas tree stand from Wal-Mart. When I got it all home, I found out that the concrete and piece of PVC pipe was not necessary at all. The pole itself fits securely into the tree stand and proves to be very sturdy. It is proudly displayed in our living room with a plain white sheet hiding the ugly tree stand. Hooray!
*********

Labels: food, holidays

We went to see the midwife yesterday, which went well. Nothing out of the ordinary to report. I am at 23w2d, all the levels she checks w/ my urine looked great, normal BP, baby's heart rate between 145-150 bpm, uterus measuring @ 24, and (oops) I've gained 12 lbs in one month. Yikes. She didn't seem concerned at all with my weight, since up until now, I haven't really gained much. I like that she is not one of those midwives/docs who obsesses about weight and makes momma feel like a beached whale every time she goes in for a check-up. She and her apprentice tried to determine the position of the baby, but couldn't tell for sure where the little bugger's head was. That's okay, though. He (or she) still has plenty of room to flip-flop around in there and plenty of time to get in head-down position.

DH bought Karaoke Revolution for XBox yesterday with a gift card he had for Best Buy. We had a lot of fun playing it last night with a friend that came over. DH and our friend are NOT singers, and even though I like to sing and think I have a relatively decent voice, a lot of the songs were too high/difficult for me, so we had some good laughs. Among others, I sang (or attempted to) Billie Jean by Michael Jackson, Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar, and Like a Virgin by Madonna. The game scores you on how many notes you get right by somehow measuring your pitch as you sing into the microphone. If you are singing right on key, your little arrow that slides across the scrolling words at the bottom of the screen turns green. If you are off key, the arrow will either be high or low and will turn red. I'm not usually a gamer, but this game was hilarious. I laughed so hard at the guys as they tried to hit high notes and sing in BeeGees-esque falsetto voices....and of course, I laughed at myself for botching many a note and stumbling over the words. Good times.

I'm feeling quite lazy today, so the only things I expect to get done is cleaning up the kitchen and running to the post office. (We have a package up there in one of the parcel lockers - I hope it's cookies! Hee hee)

Our church choir sang at a local nursing home last night. It was really cool to see how much the residents enjoyed it. Some of them clapped and sang along....others slept :)....but I bet they all appreciated it more than we know. I used to go to this particular nursing home every Tuesday night with a group of people from church and we would bring snacks, talk to the residents, and sing hymns. They LOVE those old-timey hymns, so we would pass out hymnals and they would request their favorites and we'd all sing them together.....although, a lot of us young whipper-snappers who weren't raised in church don't know the "classics" and had to fumble through them and learn as we went. I've been a slacker and haven't gone with the group in quite a while. I forgot how wonderful it is to see the looks on their faces when people come to visit. Someone in our group brought their baby last night and those old ladies just went nuts! I think it makes them feel young and vibrant to hold a baby in their arms. It's so sweet.

I didn't get to stay and visit for as long as I should have. They keep the heat cranked up to a billion degrees in there and I started feeling really over-heated and lightheaded while we were singing with our heavy choir robes on. As soon as we sang the last song, I rudely bolted for the door as I unzipped my robe. I couldn't wait to breathe some fresh air and drink some water. Whew! Once I got outside, I decided to head home. I needed something to eat so bad and I couldn't bring myself to go back into that sauna :)

Labels: music, prenatal appointment

Well, I'm not in the crummy mood I was in when I wrote my last post. I hate it how money issues can get me all frazzled. It's silly. I know that we are super blessed with a lot of things that other people don't have. I am SO blessed to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mommy. Even though money is tight right now, I know that it won't be like this forever. No one makes me feel guilty about not having an income except for me. DH doesn't act like he minds. In fact, it seems to work out really well for us when I am at home doing the cleaning, laundry, cooking, yard work (well, no yard work going on lately), errands, etc. When we were both working full time, we had to spend our days off doing chores around the house. Now, he doesn't have to even think of touching the laundry or dishes and can spend his free time doing whatever he wants. (Even though he is usually fixing other people's computers in his spare time :)

I need to remind myself that being a mommy is going to be a full time job in of itself and that our child and entire family will benefit greatly from me staying at home. Even though I'd love to find a way to make money from home, it shouldn't make me feel like any less of a person to "just" be a wife and mother. It's the job I've always wanted to have.

When I was in high school, if a student said that her goal was to be a homemaker, I remember teachers and guidance counsellors replying with comments that discouraged that way of thinking. I appreciate that their jobs were to help us set high goals for our futures and encourage us to go to college in order to go on and get high-paying careers, but I wish that "just" being a wife and mom would've been viewed as an important role in society....instead of something you get stuck doing if you "fail" at being a career woman.

I want to become a Proverbs 31 woman. A woman who is a valuable asset to her husband and children. That is the career I want to have.

A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it]. She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household's food from a far [country]. She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks. She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.

She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].

She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].

She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet. She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].

Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].

Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.

Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], "Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all. Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!"

(Proverbs 31:10-31, Amplified Bible)

Thanks for listening to me give myself a little pep-talk.

Labels: deep thoughts, finances, spirituality

I guess there's just no pleasing me. When I'm babysitting often, I complain about it. When I'm not babysitting enough, I complain about it. Just smack me.

To justify my wishy-washiness, I equate it with complaining about one's job. There are many things that might irk you about your employer/co-workers/work-load/customers/etc, and you may not hop out of bed every morning, happy and eager to face your work day.......but when it comes down to it, you don't want to take a bunch of unpaid vacations or get fired!

With that said, I do enjoy the days I don't have Bob. I feel like I get a lot more done around the house and I am free to rest my achy pelvis and back and indulge in naps and quiet loafing(obviously things I won't be able to do much of for a LONG time after the baby is born). BUT, I'd rather have Bob here and get paid for watching him 4 days a week because we have come to rely on my babysitting income.

The lady I babysit for IM'ed me yesterday to ask how much she owes me this time around (I get paid monthly). I didn't get the message until late last night, so I called her this morning to let her know. While I was waiting for her to call me back, I started getting more and more irritated at the fact that I have gone from babysitting an average of 15-20 days a month to a measley 4 days this month! It irritates me because she never warned me or talked to me about it; my days have just slowly decreased to this point.

There are a few good reasons why I have let it go for so long without asking her about it: For one thing, there have been weeks in the past where I may not have gotten as many days as I'd like, but then things may pick back up the next week and it would all even out....so I was just thinking, "Hey, maybe they're just trying to save extra money for the holidays and things will get back to normal later." Secondly, on the days I don't babysit him, Bob is either spending time with his grandma or his dad when they have extra days off work. I'm GLAD that he gets to spend time with family, and I'd feel kind of crummy for trying to put a stop to that just because of our finances. Another reason why I didn't think it would be fair to come out and say, "Hey, I need to be guaranteed X number of days from now on", is because I have to request off 1 day a month to visit my midwife (soon to be 2 days a month) and I've also had to request 2 vacations - once when my parents came to visit and stayed for a week, and also for my upcoming week-long trip to see my family next month......so, I didn't think it would be fair to expect a flexible schedule so I can keep my appointments but then expect them to keep their schedule rigid. (I must note, however, that I have never "called in sick" or given her short notice when I have to take a day off. She always knows about my appointments 4 weeks ahead of time, and about my vacations even further in advance)

I never felt the need to set ground rules at the beginning when it came to having a minimum amount of days I would need to babysit because we weren't planning on having to rely heavily on my income at that point. (Since then DH has gone to a job where he has taken a large pay cut) Also, I was told that I'd be watching him 3-4 days a week and it was never mentioned to me that it would end up fluctuating according to grandma's work schedule.

She knows that DH and I rely on my babysitting money because back when she was asking me how long I would be able to keep babysitting before our baby is born, she offered to have my replacement start watching him in January so that I can have plenty of rest and time to get ready for the baby's arrival. I thanked her for thinking about my needs like that and told her that I appreciated the offer, but that I do rely on my babysitting income and would like to babysit until the middle/end of March. So she definitely KNOWS that this is my job and that I need it.

When I just spoke to her, I let her know how much she owed me this pay period and then I reluctantly brought up the issue of my decreased babysitting hours. I told her that I hesitated to ask her about it because I didn't want to come off as being greedy or not wanting Bob to spend time with his family, but that I was just wondering if the frequency of my babysitting days would continue like this in the future and I was just wanting to know so DH and I could plan our budget accordingly. She replied, "Yeah, probably so, because my mom has been requesting days off work here and there during the week so she can spend time with the baby".

Nice to know.

I have learned an important lesson from all of this. Babysitting for friends is like doing business with friends. It's probably not the best idea because you just end up disappointing eachother in ways that you otherwise would not have. Maybe it wouldn't be like that with everybody...maybe there are people who would be a little more organized and consistent. Atleast now I know that if I do start babysitting again, I will need to set some ground rules up front and sick to them so there is no miscommunication.

BUT THEN....none of this would really be a huge issue to me if I didn't feel so pressed for money and an underlying guilt that I do not bring anything to our household, financially speaking.

Labels: babysitting, finances, general complaining, griping about people

The breastfeeding class at the health department today (er...umm...yesterday) was very informative.....and empowering. I left there feeling confident in my body's ability to nourish our baby. We watched a video that featured footage of sweet tiny infants nursing at their mothers' breasts. That's something I don't see in my every day life. Well, I do "see" my friend nursing her 18 month old sometimes, but since she is polite and discreet about it, I obviously don't see a close-up view of the baby latching on to her breast in slow-motion. :)

I must say, the nursing babies in the video had the most peaceful and satisfied looks on their faces. The mothers also appeared to be very at ease and restful. I'm not saying that the video idealized the art of breastfeeding - it certainly adressed possible problems that can arise - but it was just so nice to see all those successful breastfeeding relationships......just to know that it is possible.

Now, when any friends or family come at me with negative comments about breastfeeding or try to get me to quit based on their faulty information on the subject, I will be ready with lots of great facts to throw at them.....like:

*A baby only needs/gets 1 teaspoon (if that!) of colostrum from mommy during his/her first 24 hours of life. Baby's tiny stomach is only about the size of a small marble during the first day.

* 90% of all babies who are given a bottle within the first 3-4 weeks of life have trouble going back to the breast and ultimately stop nursing altogether because of nipple confusion. If you have real reason to believe that your baby is not getting enough milk, supplement by using a spoon or a syringe to administer breastmilk to him/her while you try to work out a solution.

* A baby MUSN'T be fed on a schedule. This is a sure way to decrease your supply. Breastfeed when the baby is hungry. Crying is a LATE signal of hunger. Try to read early signs, like: lip-smacking, opening mouth wide, putting fingers in mouth, rooting, sucking.

There is so much more, but I'm unbelievably tired and don't even know why I'm still typing at this point. Long story long, I learned so many things I didn't know and also things I can use to rebuttle my friends' & family's misconceptions about breastfeeding. Maybe I'll post more on the subject when my eyelids don't feel like cement drapes.

Oh yes, and we all got a free copy of Amy Spangler's Breastfeeding: A Parent's Guide. Woot!

Labels: breastfeeding

I tried to "milk" myself yesterday. Ha! I was reading a thread on MDC in my "due date club" that was titled "Can you milk yourself yet?" and I was wildly curious.... me being a first-timer and all. Many people that replied to the post who are about as far along as I am without any previous children said that they weren't able to express anything from their boobies yet. But some admitted that they have actually started "leaking". It's my understanding that *most* first time mommas don't get any leakage until the baby is born, but again, I was curious.

So......I squeezed and a little bit of clear-ish liquid came out. Okay, now I was ultra curious. I posted to ask what the clear stuff is and someone answered that it is very early colostrum. Interesting. I'm a goof and got sort of excited about that....just knowing that my body is preparing itself to feed our precious little babe the super food that is colostrum. Speaking of which, I'm going to a breastfeeding class at my local health department tomorrow morning.

Labels: breastfeeding, pregnancy

I got brave and took a few bare belly pics. 22w1d.







I just noticed that I'm flipping you guys off in the last 2 pics. Nice. Oops.

Labels: belly pics

Well, I did go to Wal-mart and Target today, but I didn't get to update my registries like I had planned....and that's okay. I still have a little time before my trip North for the baby shower. Instead, I tried on 25 bras. No joke. I have no clue what size I wear anymore, so it took a lot of experimentation. I am desperate for bras, but it's so hard for me to shell out money on something that may not fit me in a month or two. After all that, I ended up with a crummy $6.96 sports bra from Wal-Mart. Turns out that I have gone from a 36B to somewhere around a 42C. I wonder where I'll end up when it's all said and done.

Right now, I have a headache (dang, I seem to get these a lot lately) and don't even know why I'm torturing myself by looking at this bright computer moniter in a dark room. Pretty stupid. I guess I'm gonna go night-night now.

Labels: clothes

I don't have to babysit at all this week.....which is nice, but means we will be short on money.

I need to go grocery shopping today, stop @ Target & Walmart to edit/add to my gift registries, and clean up the kitchen. Then I'll hopefully have time for a nap, make dinner, and then go to choir practice.

I haven't mentioned much (if anything) about Christmas choir practice. Mostly because I want to spare you from having to read a long rant about how much I dislike it and wish I didn't have to be a part of it. Yep, I HAVE to be in it. I have no choice. I'll just say that it's taking away from, not adding to, the little bit of "Christmas spirit" I might have had. I'll be glad when Dec 25th has come and gone.

On a positive note, I am 22 weeks along today. Woohoo! I enjoy being pregnant. Yeah, my hips and back bother me, and I'm exhausted for no reason all the time.....but it could be SO much worse. I love the excitement and anticipation of knowing that we will have a new addition to our family in just a few short months. It's tough to gauge DH's excitement about the whole thing. I know he's happy about it, but I'm sure it won't become REAL to him until the baby is actually here and he's a daddy.

Last week at church, he was holding our friend's 3 month old baby and it looked odd to me. I realized then that I had never really seen him holding a small baby like that....or if I have, I've never had a reason to take notice. It was sweet. He looked uncomfortable, like he was wishing someone would come take the baby from him....and I wondered what it will be like when he has to hold a baby on a regular basis.

But I then I got to thinking about it and realized that I also feel like that when I'm holding a small infant. Unless the baby is in a deep slumber and not wiggling around at all, I usually feel like a big clumsy oaf that has no idea how to hold a baby. Don't get me wrong, I have no worries about it, I just thought it was an interesting observation. I know that DH and I will learn together, and somehow holding our own writhing, slobbery, head-wobbling little dear will be unthreatening and natural. (patting tummy) It's amazing how much I already like the little booger.

Labels: church, general complaining, pregnancy whining

I've been feeling our little sprout moving around like crazy these last couple of days. There have been a few jabs that were so hard, they kind of startled me. His or her limbs are close to my belly button again, which is an oddly sensitive area....even on the inside. Feeling the baby move has been the best part of pregnancy so far! Maybe all this movement is causing me to feel like I'm getting to know this little one and that's why I'm suddenly obsessed with NAMING IT.

Last night, while I was sitting at the computer adding to my list of potential boy names, the baby was REALLY active. Apparently, he either hated or loved the names I was choosing.....or it's really a girl in there and she was letting me know that I was wasting my time. Either way, the mushy mommy in me thought it was cute.

I went through ALL the boy names listed on http://www.thinkbabynames.com and carefully picked names I like. I came up with a surprisingly small list, for going through so many pages of names. I must be picky. I tried to consider what I thought DH would like as well, but (God bless him) I bet he will either:

A) Not offer any input at all.
or
B) Only offer negative input without coming up with any alternatives.

I guess some guys just don't start thinking of names until the end of the pregnancy.....I know he's not the only one, but I would at least like to have a list of potential names to choose from when the baby is born, even if we don't have it narrowed down to a few. I don't want the list to be comprised solely of the names I have picked out. It would stink to get to the end of the pregnancy only to find out that DH hates all the names I have chosen and that he either has no other ideas, or (the more likely outcome) that he has only come up with silly names.

I love you, DH....even in all of your bored indifference :)
Since I know you read my blog, I'll go ahead and list all the names I'm tossing around. Keep in mind that there are some I only find suitable as a middle name, and some I'm not totally wild about, but for some reason have an endearing quality that I could learn to love.

The entire boy list:

X@nder - (Xan for short) "Protector of Mankind" / "Warrior" (Greek) variant of Alexander
H*nry - "Ruler of the Home" / "Estate Ruler" (German)
Phinea$ - (Phin for short) - "Oracle" (Hebrew)
L*iam - An Irish/Gaelic variant of "William", which means "Determined Protector" (Old German)
Jerem1ah - "The Lord Exalts" (Hebrew)
0liver - "Olive Tree" (Latin)
Malach! - "Messenger of God" (Hebrew)
S@muel - (Sam for short) "God heard" or "Requested of God" (Hebrew)
Ott0 - "Wealth" (Old German)
Gr1ff - a variant of Gr1ffith, which means: "Strong Chief" (Welsh)
Rufu$ - "Red-haired" (Latin)
Hug0 - "A thinker, Intellectual" (Latin variant of the Old German "Hugh")
Axe1 - "The Father is Peace" / "Divine Reward" (Hebrew/Swedish)
M0$es - "Savior" or "Drawn out of the water" (Hebrew)
Cr0$by - "At the Cross" (Scandinavian)
Att1cu$ - "From Athens" (Latin)
O$r!c - (Oz for short) "God's Rule" (Old English)
Abr@ham - "Father of many nations" (Hebrew)
T1tu$ - "Defender" (Greek)
Pa$cal - "Easter Child" (Latin)
T0bia$ - "God is Good" (Hebrew)
D@nte - "lasting, enduring" (Latin)
Seb@$tian - "Revered" (Greek)
R0scoe - "Deer Wood" (Old Norse)
Ma+thew - "Gift of the Lord" (Hebrew)
L@t1mer - (Lat for short) "Interpreter" (Middle English)
J@mes - English variant of Jacob, which means: "He who supplants" (Hebrew)
P@blo - "Small" (Spanish variant of Paul - Latin)
Mile$ - "Soldier" (Latin) or "Merciful" (Old German)
Alex@nd*r - "Protector of Mankind" / "Warrior" (Greek)
Ezr@ - "Helper" (Hebrew)
C0smo - "Order, Organization, Beauty" (Greek/Italian)
Lar$ - Scandinavian variant of Lawrence, which means : "From Laurentum" - a city south of Rome. (Latin)
Gr*er - Comes from Gregory, which means: "Watchful, Vigilant" (Greek)
Jud* - The brother of James and writer of the NT book "Jude"....a Latin variant of Judah, which means: "The praised one" (Hebrew)

The entire girl list:

Pa1sley - "A popular fabric named for Paisley, Scotland"
Lol@ - (from Dolores) "Woman of Sorrows" (Spanish)
J@sper - "Semi-precious Stone"
T@l1u1ah - (Lulu for short) "Running/ Leaping Water" (Choctaw) - "Fruitful Woman" (Gaelic)
Lu1u - "precious; pearl; calm, peaceful, protected" (Swahili, Tanzanian and Hawaiian)
L~cy - (from Lucia) "Light" (Latin)
R~by - "red gemstone" (English)
Deli@ - "from the island of Delos" (Greek) In Greek mythology, Delos is the birthplace of Artemis.
W1ll@ - (Billie for short) "resolute protector" (Old German)
Marl0we - "driftwood" or literally, "lake leavings" (Old English)
Sc0ut - "to listen" or "someone who gathers information quietly" (Old French)
Ell1o+ - the anglicization of the name "Elijah", which means "The Lord is my God" (Hebrew)
1vy - climbing evergreen plant (Old English)
1ris - a flower name, also means "rainbow" (Greek)
M1a - In Israeli, feminine short form of Michal. In Latin and Scandinavian, a short form of Maria.
Lyd1a - "From Lydia" (Greek), a NT Christian woman called a "seller of purple" and described as a woman of business, probably affluent.
Cl0ver - flower name (Old English)
Ol!ve - olive (Latin)
Lel@ - "Black Beauty" (Kiswahili) or "Loyalty" (French)
Cl@ire - "Famous" (Latin / French)
Liese1 or Lies1 - a shortened German form of "Elizabeth", which means: "God's Promise" (Hebrew)
Mae - Variant of "May" (English)

Some of my favorites are:

Labels: baby names, dh, pregnancy

I've been highly intrigued by the holiday "Festivus" lately. As some of you may know, Festivus was "invented" by George Costanza's father, Frank, on an episode of Seinfeld back in '97.



In the episode (called "The Strike") Frank explains to Kramer that he invented Festivus out of his disgust for holiday commercialism. Many years ago, while shopping for a doll for young George, a fight errupted between him and another holiday shopper who grabbed for the same doll. "As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!", says Frank.

During Festivus, a plain aluminum pole is displayed in lieu of a Christmas tree.....because Frank "finds tinsel distracting". Immediately following the holiday meal, there is something called the Airing of Grievances. Each person at the festivities gets up and tells the others how they have let him or her down throughout the past year. As Frank boldly proclaims at the dinner table, "I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!"

Festivus is celebrated on December 23rd and is officially over when the head of the household is wrestled to the ground in something call the Feats of Strength . Many modern-day Festivus observers have added other competive activities to the "Feats of Strength", such as thumb wrestling, washer tossing, and hula-hooping.

Apparently, many of the Festivus traditions mentioned throughout the episode are loosely adapted from the childhood memories of one of the show's writers, Dan O'Keefe. His father is the true inventor of the holiday, which came to be in the mid 1960's. The original holiday does differ a bit from what was portrayed on Seinfeld and is described in O'Keefe's book, "The Real Festivus". There is also a book called "Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us" by Allen Salkin, which deals more with Festivus as it is celebrated today. I haven't read either of these books, but would love to get my hands on them to educate myself further on the phenomenon of Festivus.

I recently told DH that I thought it would be fun to start a Festivus tradition in our own household. I like its connection with disgust for modern holiday commercialism. I also like the idea of our children growing up with a fun and unorthodox "holiday" that no one else (that we know) celebrates. The wonderful thing about Festivus is that its traditions are not meant to be rigid. Aside from the Festivus pole, the Airing of Grievances, and the Feats of Strength, there are no other activities set in stone. In fact, O'Keefe states that each year his family celebration had a different "theme".

This holiday really fits DH like a glove. He's never been terribly fond of me putting up Christmas decorations each year.....and I never hear the end of it if I actually spend money on Christmas ornaments or something. :) I grew up in a family that makes a huge deal of Christmas. The shopping madness, the over-the-top decorations....and things ALWAYS had to happen the exact same way each year. Mostly, it was my mom's family propelling this huge holiday machine, and my dad was just along for the ride. I remember my dad once saying, "I wish we didn't have to do this every year", referring to the stress-induced frenzy that my mom always got herself worked into. I didn't realize it when I was younger, but now I see that my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles all subscribed to the mindset that even if you don't have the money, go ahead and spend like crazy anyway....and then pay dearly for it throughout the coming year. Stupid.

Although DH's family does celebrate Christmas, it's certainly not the huge mandatory extravaganza that I grew up with. At first, I had a hard time getting used to DH's bah-humbug spirit. I just thought that everybody was crazy about the holidays and when I moved 900 miles away from my family 6 1/2 years ago, it just felt weird not to make Christmas into a huge event. I have since come to respect DH's bah-humbugness and even share it to some extent. I am probably not putting up our tree this year or any of our decorations, and it doesn't bother me. When I mentioned to DH that he should get the Christmas decorations down from the attic for me, he replied with, "Why? I'll just have to put them all back up there in January." He has a point. Really.

I would just end up spending an entire day rummaging through boxes and putting up decorations that no one but DH and I would see or care about, since we don't usually have people over for Christmas and we don't have kids yet. I would have to keep Bob's busy toddler hands away from the fragile 1950's silver aluminum tree and dainty glass ornaments, and frankly, that doesn't sound like fun to me. Not worth the effort.

So, a plain unadorned aluminum pole sounds pretty good to me right about now.

I realize that when our kids are old enough to get excited about Christmas, we will have to subscribe to it on some level, but I'd like to create our OWN traditions that are flexible and fun.... A stress-free holiday that the kids can still get hyped up about. We all know that Christmas is no longer Christ-centered (if it ever was), so I don't think our kids will be missing out on the spiritual aspect of Christmas. I believe that we can still use this time of year to honor the birth of Christ without having Santa, lights, and snowmen plastered all over the place.

Some random ideas to add to the normal "Festivus" traditions:

• Instead of froo-froo Christmas stockings, have the kids pick out a couple of their dad's ugliest, most worn out tube socks for mom and dad (not Santa) to fill with goodies.
  


• Have a huge holiday dinner, (I believe the Costanzas had spaghetti) but change it up every year and let the kids help choose what we have. Maybe one year we can have a sushi feast.....and the next, a meal made up of fancy peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches. Anything goes.
  


• Since the "Airing of Grievances" seems a little harsh and isn't a very Christ-like thing to be teaching our kids, we can lighten it up a bit by making it non-threatening and funny.....like "I think it's totally gross when little Billy picks his nose and eats his boogers"....
  


• Each year could carry a different theme that the kids help choose. Maybe when the kids are a bit older, we can reward them throughout the year for acts of kindness and good behavior by using some sort of points system. Whoever has the most points at the end of the year gets to choose the Festivus theme. We can put up decorations that coincide with the theme, but they should be inexpensive and, for the most part, homemade.

Just a few ideas.
And of course, at the end of a busy Festivus day, the tired little tots will have a grand old time trying to wrestle daddy to the ground.

Hee hee....yes, more reasons for my family to think I'm weird.

Labels: holidays

Pic of my newly organized laundry room closet:

Neatly contains all of my sewing gear, fabric, and craft/giftwrap stuff (the serger's in there, just not visible). It also holds my absurdly large collection of purses and a basket of all our hats, gloves, & scarves. I have a box with a hammer, screw driver, and container of misc. nails and picture-hanging hardware (so I don't have to walk out to DH's toolbox in the garage)...tape, glue, scissors. Everything I need.

Pics of the baby's room:





Do you think we have enough baby seats? :) Well, we have 2 infant car seats. One of them is a little on the old side.....The other is nicer and slightly newer and we'll probably use it for a while before we transfer the babe to a Britax Marathon (hopefully). Then, there's a portable baby swing, a bouncy seat, and an infant seat that rocks and turns into a toddler chair. I wonder if we'll actually use all these chairs?? Who knows if the crib will even get much use....not sure how long baby will sleep with us. Oh well. We didn't spend any money on any of this stuff....all hand-me-downs....so it's nice to have all of it just in case we need it.

I take that back, we did buy the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper, but it was only $79. Yeehaw.

Labels: baby gear, household chores

It snowed quite a bit yesterday, after raining all morning, so the roads are a bit treacherous. DH went to work a couple hours late this morning just to be extra careful. Many of the schools are closed. It's kind of funny to me because we only got all of 2 or 3 inches of snow!!!! But around here, they just don't have the number of salt trucks and plows like up North. When there is forecast of snow here, people freak out and scurry frantically to Wal-Mart for bottled water and canned food....just in case they get "snowed in". Hee hee.

Labels: household chores