I'm not mean, I swear.
Friday, September 15, 2006
I think I really sounded like a heartless ogre in my last post, but it was mostly just written out of heat-of-the-moment frustration, and probably isn't an accurate reflection of how I feel most of the time. I made it sound like there is something wrong with letting your child sleep with you at all times and breastfeeding on demand on an extended basis. That is certainly not how I wanted it to sound.
I am totally FOR those things. I'm glad that this child is benefitting from that close and loving style of parenting. BUT from the selfish perspective of the person who has the child 4 days a week from 7am to 5pm, golly, it makes my job so hard. The thing is, I plan on breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering, and co-sleeping with my little one, so I can't be upset with someone that has chosen some of those things for their own child. I just think that full-time babysitters of "attached" children have it kind of rough.....it seems an unnatural thing to mix attachment parenting with 2 parents that work full time, and I'm feeling the brunt of that right now......but it's what I've chosen to do, and I get paid for it, so I guess I have no right to gripe. Danielle had some good advice and said that I just need to think of how I would want my child to be treated if I had to go to work and do the best I can to love and enjoy spending time with him. That is certainly something that I need to make an effort to do, because right now, I am getting a little burnt out.
I've already started getting advice from my MIL that I should transfer my baby from the bassinet in our room (and I'm sure she doesn't know it's a co-sleeper bassinet either) to his/her own crib in the nursery at 2 weeks old! Are you stinking kidding me? No way. I know that my mom has a similar philosophy, but not quite as harsh. My MIL also thinks that breastfeeding past a year is extreme and is a bad idea. I completely disagree with that as well. I am a proponent of certain aspects of attachment parenting, although my last post didn't really reflect that.
**ETA**
Oh yes, and I must add this: It is sort of sad to say, but if I start babysitting again sometime after our own child is born, I will probably choose to watch children who have been raised like my sister's children. My 16 month old nephew tugs at my sister's pant leg and points to the stairs when it's nap time because he is used to being taken upstairs to his crib and laid down to nap by himself at about the same time every day. He lays down and goes right to sleep without a fuss. All her children were bottle-fed and were cared for by their dad and grandma quite a bit while mommy was at work. They didn't throw a huge fit during feeding time or nap time when my mom was babysitting them because they were used to having someone other than mommy taking care of them some of the time. This is NOT exactly how I want to raise my own children, but I admit that these ARE the type of children that I would LOVE to babysit.
I am totally FOR those things. I'm glad that this child is benefitting from that close and loving style of parenting. BUT from the selfish perspective of the person who has the child 4 days a week from 7am to 5pm, golly, it makes my job so hard. The thing is, I plan on breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering, and co-sleeping with my little one, so I can't be upset with someone that has chosen some of those things for their own child. I just think that full-time babysitters of "attached" children have it kind of rough.....it seems an unnatural thing to mix attachment parenting with 2 parents that work full time, and I'm feeling the brunt of that right now......but it's what I've chosen to do, and I get paid for it, so I guess I have no right to gripe. Danielle had some good advice and said that I just need to think of how I would want my child to be treated if I had to go to work and do the best I can to love and enjoy spending time with him. That is certainly something that I need to make an effort to do, because right now, I am getting a little burnt out.
I've already started getting advice from my MIL that I should transfer my baby from the bassinet in our room (and I'm sure she doesn't know it's a co-sleeper bassinet either) to his/her own crib in the nursery at 2 weeks old! Are you stinking kidding me? No way. I know that my mom has a similar philosophy, but not quite as harsh. My MIL also thinks that breastfeeding past a year is extreme and is a bad idea. I completely disagree with that as well. I am a proponent of certain aspects of attachment parenting, although my last post didn't really reflect that.
**ETA**
Oh yes, and I must add this: It is sort of sad to say, but if I start babysitting again sometime after our own child is born, I will probably choose to watch children who have been raised like my sister's children. My 16 month old nephew tugs at my sister's pant leg and points to the stairs when it's nap time because he is used to being taken upstairs to his crib and laid down to nap by himself at about the same time every day. He lays down and goes right to sleep without a fuss. All her children were bottle-fed and were cared for by their dad and grandma quite a bit while mommy was at work. They didn't throw a huge fit during feeding time or nap time when my mom was babysitting them because they were used to having someone other than mommy taking care of them some of the time. This is NOT exactly how I want to raise my own children, but I admit that these ARE the type of children that I would LOVE to babysit.
Labels: baby sleep, babysitting, general complaining
posted by Unkempt Mommy at 10:41 AM
4 Comments:
I totally got that you are AP but that you thought it was confusing for the kid you babysit to be part-time AP.
My MIL was totally freaked out by my nursing my son. She formula fed my husband and his brother and used paper dipes back in the day. Everytime she came over, starting at 2 weeks after Max was born, she was like, "how long are you going to nurse him? He isn't going to be like 5 yrs. old and still nursing is he?" Ha ha ha ha....I said, "maybe".
She never quit asking and my response was always the same. "When Max decides to stop is when we'll stop". And he did stop way too early in my opinion and it broke it my heart but he was done. She was so relieved and it sickened me. I love the woman but we are WAY different in our approaches to raising children.
Do you have a support system in place for you when you start the nursing relationship? I can't tell you how important it was and helpful for me to have my own mother and sister-in-law who nursed 5 babies, help me. They really got me through the first 3 weeks.
MILs can be so annoying! Mine wants to know when we are going to put our chilren in school. Uh....never, if we can help it. :)
I am in agreement with wanting to be around children who know a routine and jives with yours!!! Even though we are mostly AP about a lot of things, sleep is one of those things I didn't mess around about. Ever since Max was a wombling and this new little one too, I pray they would have great sleeping habits and that the Lord would be merciful in that they would rest when needed and go down easily.
I definitely think you should recruit some ladies from church who breastfeed. You could start talking to different ones now about their experiences to get a feel for who would be the best help to you and then when it gets closer, rope those you want around you in and beg for support when babe is here. I won't rose color it for you. The first couple weeks for Max and I's nursing relationship was really tough. I was crying, he was crying, he was not latching, he lost all kinda weight, but we hung in there and I was so glad once things got established. Nursing isn't always this magical thing that just happens correctly. In most cases, it takes work, but oh the rewards!!! I would encourage you to do it no matter what. You'll be a novice, baby won't know what they are doing either, but it'll work out. It will. Ask your midwife about a Le Leche league near you and start going to meetings now if you can and build a relationship with some women who may be there for you later.
About the jeans. Let's just say I haven't had a pair last throughout an entire pregnancy. Doesn't mean it can't but usually, you get a pair for these months till like month 5 or 6 and then you'll need a different pair. And yeah, I usually get away with one pair of pants cause frankly, if I wash them too much then they'll shrink up and so I were them for days at a time before wash. Ha ha.
So you could try to get a huge pair but they'll be falling down around your ankles now. You could pin them I guess. I think just set aside a couple extra bucks if you can for a pair later. I spent like $24 for these cords I'm wearing now, but ohhhh so worth the relief of not feeling like I'm squished into a pair of too tight pants. I never, never pay that much for pants, but when I'm pregnant, I go whole hog (literally and figuratively)! :o) Break down and get you a pair now that will give some and then use them after the baby is born as inbetween jeans. Then get you a pair later when your tummy is huge.
Hi - I am a friend of Danielle and frequent blog friend. Although this is not a comment on current blog - but just an offer for help when you need advice on breastfeeding. I did it until my son was 1 and discover a sippy cup was less work and therefore decided he was done nursing. I had different difficulties w/bfing than Danielle - like his refusal to latch and finger feeding until my milk came in. Anyway... have to go right now but will share more later... may blog about it.
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