The Best Part of the Week
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The best part of my week is Thursday evening, when the little boy I watch gets picked up. It means 3 whole days without him. I know, I'm awful.
I made a comment joking around about how I was glad when his momma came and picked him up today when I was IM'ing my MIL. She joked back, "Just think, unless you can find someone to pick your child up every weekend, yours won't 'go home'!"
I just know in my heart that I won't feel this way with my own. Most of my frustration seems to stem from how I feel about some of his mom and dad's parenting choices, not the child himself. I think it must be really confusing for a child to be able to nurse on demand all the time and then while mommy's at work, suddenly there's no nursing. Three full days pass in between mommy's work weeks, so I wonder if every Monday is just as stressful for him as the last. (I'm not sure how their memories work at 15 months) It must be frustrating for him when he is used to sleeping with mommy every night and for every nap from Friday to Sunday and then at my house, there are just times when I can't lay down with him.....so it inevitably cuts the nap short and he gets way cranky. This next one is rude, but I'm just going to say it: It must be confusing for him when, at home he can walk around the house, smear food on furniture, touch things and climb on things that are dangerous, and destroy just about anything he wants because frankly, their house is a sty......But here, I'm a little more conscious of how he treats the furniture and objects that are not for kids to play with and I'm not afraid to sternly tell him "no". I am no "neat freak" by any sense of the word, but I don't think it's too early to teach him how to respect things and know what is okay to touch and not okay to touch.
I'm not saying that I am against extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping. I'm saying that I think in an ideal situation, a woman who practices an attached style of parenting like that would benefit herself AND her child by STAYING HOME FROM WORK. I am speaking selfishly, from the babysitter's perspective, here. It's like having one foot in today's fast pace, both-parents-working type society and then the other foot in the realm of child-is-at-mommy's-breast-all-day.
Can the two mix? Just from my experience with babysitting this little one, no they can't. Or they can, but the babysitter will have nervous breakdown and the child will suffer from some serious attachment anxiety.
I'm sure most of this post is just coming from the fact that he had a rough day today and my nerves are a little frazzled. I bet I'll come back and read it and think I'm being unreasonable.
***ETA***
Oh, BTW, I am spoiled and do have the opportunity to stay home with my child, so it was probably unfair to say some of the things that I said. I know that all women can't stay home (and then there are some that WON'T, but that's another issue in of itself), but I guess it is my opinion that if you know you are going to work and leave your child with a sitter, you might want to adapt your parenting style accordingly. Peace.
I made a comment joking around about how I was glad when his momma came and picked him up today when I was IM'ing my MIL. She joked back, "Just think, unless you can find someone to pick your child up every weekend, yours won't 'go home'!"
I just know in my heart that I won't feel this way with my own. Most of my frustration seems to stem from how I feel about some of his mom and dad's parenting choices, not the child himself. I think it must be really confusing for a child to be able to nurse on demand all the time and then while mommy's at work, suddenly there's no nursing. Three full days pass in between mommy's work weeks, so I wonder if every Monday is just as stressful for him as the last. (I'm not sure how their memories work at 15 months) It must be frustrating for him when he is used to sleeping with mommy every night and for every nap from Friday to Sunday and then at my house, there are just times when I can't lay down with him.....so it inevitably cuts the nap short and he gets way cranky. This next one is rude, but I'm just going to say it: It must be confusing for him when, at home he can walk around the house, smear food on furniture, touch things and climb on things that are dangerous, and destroy just about anything he wants because frankly, their house is a sty......But here, I'm a little more conscious of how he treats the furniture and objects that are not for kids to play with and I'm not afraid to sternly tell him "no". I am no "neat freak" by any sense of the word, but I don't think it's too early to teach him how to respect things and know what is okay to touch and not okay to touch.
I'm not saying that I am against extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping. I'm saying that I think in an ideal situation, a woman who practices an attached style of parenting like that would benefit herself AND her child by STAYING HOME FROM WORK. I am speaking selfishly, from the babysitter's perspective, here. It's like having one foot in today's fast pace, both-parents-working type society and then the other foot in the realm of child-is-at-mommy's-breast-all-day.
Can the two mix? Just from my experience with babysitting this little one, no they can't. Or they can, but the babysitter will have nervous breakdown and the child will suffer from some serious attachment anxiety.
I'm sure most of this post is just coming from the fact that he had a rough day today and my nerves are a little frazzled. I bet I'll come back and read it and think I'm being unreasonable.
***ETA***
Oh, BTW, I am spoiled and do have the opportunity to stay home with my child, so it was probably unfair to say some of the things that I said. I know that all women can't stay home (and then there are some that WON'T, but that's another issue in of itself), but I guess it is my opinion that if you know you are going to work and leave your child with a sitter, you might want to adapt your parenting style accordingly. Peace.
Labels: babysitting, general complaining
posted by Unkempt Mommy at 5:20 PM
2 Comments:
I have to agree with you on this one. You are such a good person to help your friend, but MY GOODNESS, I can't imagine the stress it must be causing you! Yes, it IS different with your own child. You love them with every ounce of your being (as you alredy do), and cherish those weekends as you also have daddy home to have fun with you!
~Shawna Lee
http://shooflypieandgrits.blogspirit.com/
I miss my home. Apartment life isn't awful but the fact that the chick that lives above us has a schedule that leaves her clanging around in heels at midnight and again at 4 am make me so agitated. Thank the Lord, that He allowed me to sleep through the 4 am noise.
About your babysitting situation. Yes, you will be more patient with your baby and you will be sad if you ever have to leave. Atleast that is how it was and is for me. My mom would come when Max was like 9 months old, so we could go to a movie and about half-way through the movie I was missing him, but then again, it is how attached we are. So your MIL comment doesn't hold water. People like to say stuff like that.
I think it is great that the child you babysit for has a mum who didn't give up on the breastfeeding because she has to work. I think it's great that she cosleeps (I'm AP but we don't do that cause I need my rest, by myself) even though it can't happen all the time. I think it's great that you don't let him run around and mess your stuff up. Saying "no" to him is good for him. He is learning that not all rules apply everywhere. At home there are certain boundaries and at babysitters there are certain boundaries. He is a little human and is so capable of adapting to his surroundings and it is all part of learning.
I totally understand your vent and you keep em' coming momma...cause as your belly grows, your going to get more frusterated with him, not less...but is okay to voice it here so when you are with him you can treat him lovingly. Just remind yourself how you would want someone to love and treat your baby if you had to go to work and it might help you love and want to be around this child more. Pray God would fill you with patience and a love for this kid while he is in your care.
I think there was something else I was going to say but I've already written 2 pages. Sorry.
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